While in the elven city of Naeralei, Eight and Arthas have a chance encounter with a traveling scholar. The pair are quickly roped into his plan to discover secrets hidden deep in the woods.
A scholar in the library overhears strange voices talking about the books they have borrowed. Deciding to follow them out into the city proper, he discovers the voices belong to Eight and Arthas. While trying to figure out how to introduce himself, Eight saves him the trouble and makes the first introduction. Agreeing that he seems harmless, Eight and Arthas agree on a “mutually beneficial arrangement” in which this scholar will offer them a place to stay for the night in exchange for the ability to ask them questions.
The scholar, named Theodore Lawrence Briggs, enlists Arthas and Eight in an expedition deep into the Wildwoods. He wants to map out and explore the area surrounding the city but has had difficulty obtaining assistance in doing so, and hints that he has not been entirely honest with the Kinder-Kai regarding his true purpose in their city.
Follow Dax @GM_Dax, Wren @ThornyDryad and Tal @Taldoz1
Transcript by Kris
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Relaxing background music fades in [00:31]
Dax: Welcome back to Roads Uncharted. It has been a while -- it is officially Season Two so welcome back. We’re glad to have you back at our table. As always, my name is Dax and I’m the GM of this actual play Genesys RPG podcast. We have an excellent set of stories up ahead in Season Two so without further ado, let’s get started.
Teddy, you are in the Wild Woods. You have been here for quite a few months now, learning the ways of the Kinder-Kai, and monitoring all the ins and the outs of their daily life. You find yourself in the library, as you have on occasion, often one of the little alcoves poring over some book. What book are you reading today?
Taldoz: I believe today that I am reading a uh, dissertation on the histories of various explorers.
Dax: Ah yes, one of the smaller texts in the library, considering how often the Kinder-Kai leave their woods. What do you look like? I mean, describe what the audience would see if they could see you.
Taldoz: If you could see Teddy, Teddy is a moderately uh, average-sized human man, roughly about 5 foot 7 in height. Kind of weighed down by various survival packing gears, three canteens... he’s got very round spectacles and he has a big, bushy mustache that kinda tapers down into a very fine... I guess it’s mutton chops, sort of. And that all is like a dirty blonde color. His hair is very, very messy and errs more towards brown than dirty blonde but… there are still those blonde uh, streaks throughout. And aside from that, he has some weapons at his side, uhm… they don’t seem to be in very good condition but they are serviceable. Aside from the giant backpack that he normally wears sitting at his side, he’s wearing kinda... patched-together leatherwork armors.
Dax: Teddy, as you are poring over this very small text of uh, various explorers, you hear some people talking -- some voices that you’ve never heard in the Wild Woods. One of them is a relatively deep voice, sounds almost as if it’s coming from a much higher altitude than most people that you’ve ever spoken with, and another is followed by the sound of metal slapping against the floor. They’re talking something about borrowing books from Ishta. And then you hear the sound of the library door opening and closing, and those voices are no more.
Taldoz: Interesting. It sounds like they left, so the voices were getting further away and then it [imitates the sound of a door squeaking closed].
Dax: Correct.
Taldoz: Okay. Well that sounds very odd. I’m going to uh, set my uh… very uh, thin book down. Uh… begrudging the fact that uh, their dissertation is about the length of a comic book. And uh, I’m gonna -- I’m gonna see who those people were!
Dax: Yeah! So if you were to peek around the corner from the little study alcove that you were in, you would see Ishta sitting at their desk.
Tadoz: I’m gonna go ahead and go up to Ishta, and uh, kind of adjust my glasses a little bit:
Taldoz (as Teddy): Say now, who were those, speaking just now?
Dax (as Ishta): Oh! Teddy, I… I had almost forgotten you were in the library. They’re two visitors called Eight and… Arthas! I-I can tell you that if you wanted to go meet them, you could just go out into the library’s um… could go out into the main woods. Uh, they… they just left and they should be back tomorrow so if this afternoon is not good enough for you, you could always wait til tomorrow when they have to return the books they borrowed.
Taldoz (as Teddy): Eh, I’ve already finished my readings… I may as well search them down.
Dax (as Ishta): All right. Um, will you be borrowing anything else today?
Taldoz (as Teddy): Oh no, not today. I’ve… [sighs] gotta prepare for the future!
Dax: Ishta takes the ash blonde hair, the braid that she’s wearing, and kinda grabs it with both hands and starts to very gently tug on it a little bit. Um… you’ve known Ishta long enough to know that this is often a sign of nervousness… but Ishta often gets nervous at even the strangest things so… it’s not really a matter of concern for you.
Dax (as Ishta): I-I-I guess perhaps, I’ll… I’ll see you tomorrow? Enjoy your day!
Taldoz (as Teddy): And you as well. Tomorrow is the future, and that shall be grand for us all. [enthusiastic chuckle]
Taldoz: And I’ll... make my way downtown, walking fast.
Dax: Easy enough for you to head out of the library, which sits within the base of a very massive tree. Many of the buildings in the Wild Woods… uh, anywhere that the Kinder-Kai make their home anyway, are in the base of these massive trees. As you step out the door, you do see up ahead an individual, an extremely tall individual, wearing mismatched scrapes of armor and leather and uh, brandishing a sword that, at the very tip, seems to be stuck in a boulder. And next to them is what you would recognize as a uh, Warforged. Now, Eight and Arthas: the two of you have just left the library. Uh, you have your books in hand that you had signed out and must return tomorrow. What are you talking about?
Wren: If I recall correctly, we were borrowing books from the library and we left with Mira to go find a place to stay for the night.
Neil: Right.
Wren: Because last I checked, we are strangers in a foreign city where mmm... most people don’t seem to care to uh, bother to speak with us, look at us, or regard us in any particular manner. And Mira had said that if we did need them for anything further, all we had to do was seek them out.
Neil: Right. That tracks to me.
Wren (as Eight): Arthas, have... have you satisfied yourself with the books that you have borrowed from the library?
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Neil (as Arthas): I suppose on the selection, but I’ll only know that when I begin reading.
Wren (as Eight): Wonderful! I’m sure Bessie is more than happy to carry what we have.
Wren: And I just kind of, take the handful of books I have and place them delicately uh, in the saddlebag of Bessie, my faithful, well… our faithful robotic donkey companion.
Neil: And uh, I’ll do the same.
Dax: All right. So you place those three books into one of Bessie’s saddlebags and Arthas, you place in two scrolls.
Wren: Now, DM, you had said that the city itself is mostly treehouses?
Dax: So, for the most part, uhm, this… I guess you could call it a city… this Elven city is made mostly of buildings that are made of wood with thatched roofs, moss… uhm, everything is drawn from nature. Very little stonework exists. For some of the larger, more massive trees that are around... you have been in the library, so you know they’ve at least done one. You’ve also been in a room where they interrogated you earlier today. Uh, so you… you do know that they do tend to carve out… maybe not necessarily dwellings, but at uhm, least rooms for usage. What else they use the trees for, you haven’t discovered yet. There are some rope and wood bridges high above in the treetops that appear to allow for easier passage and greater distance. And you can see people walking among them.
Taldoz: For my own visualization, it’s kinda like… I just have… every, every building is put together but it’s very much made of wood and nature and it’s more like a… I don’t want to use this word because it’s… it’s not quite what I mean but more like a contemporary style of… like uh, construction going on versus, y’know... Ewok village or something.
Dax: Uh… a little bit more along the lines of Ewok village. Everything is a little haphazard, the only difference is that most of the buildings are not in trees.
Taldoz: Uh… while these curious individuals are placing things within the cargo containers of their robotic donkey, I’m going to approach them, very curiously. Uh kind of… slowly, and then quickly… and just kinda looking up at uh, the tall one and then like, staring at uh… at Eight.
Dax: Are you getting in front of them so that they see you? Or is this definitely one of those I’m observing close but at just enough of a distance where you might not-
Wren: Like tailing behind us, kinda thing?
Taldoz: Kinda staying in… in the back, tailing behind. Not entirely certain how best to approach them.
Dax: Are you trying to stay hidden?
Taldoz: No. Just… very awkward...
Taldoz (as Teddy): [clears throat] No no no no, that’s a terrible introduction. Heh- no no no… oh… [mutters unintelligibly]
Neil: Pardon, Dax. May I make a… I forget what the equivalent of a perception check in this system is.
Dax: Well there is a perception check but if uh… I guess it depends, what are you trying to do? And then I can help you figure out which the-- I think I know what you’re going to ask but you tell me and then we can work through which is the best skill to use.
Neil: I feel as if we are being tracked.
Dax: Okay, so probably a Vigilance check would make the most sense for you. Um, and because you are so tall, and it is easy for you to see and it is a very open space, all things considered… uh, feel free to make that an Easy difficulty, so the one purple.
Neil: I have two successes.
Dax: All right. Yeah, you’re looking around… probably not intentionally looking for things. Perhaps you’re just looking around to see the sights and you happen to notice, out of the periphery when you turn your head to the left, some individual that seems to, every once in a while, be putting up a finger and then pulling it back in, and putting their fist by their face as if they’re in contemplation and then every once in a while, taking a couple steps closer to you, and then stopping and seeming to think.
Neil (as Arthas): Eight, there’s someone who’s staring at us, thinking and approaching, very, very slowly.
Wren (as Eight): Now, Arthas…
Wren: I kind of look up at my companion and smile a little bit.
Wren: (as Eight): Arthas, I don’t believe anyone would be approaching us at this particular juncture. I mean, I feel like I would notice if we were being regarded with any scrutiny.
Wren: And... I’m just gonna like, turn in the same direction that Arthas is… appears to be focusing attention… are you… are you -- I should ask, Arthas, are you focusing attention in any direction or are you just kind of, uh… saying this while trying to not draw attention?
Neil: I am… I am not pointing at the person tailing us but I am absolutely staring at them as I say this.
Wren: I will follow your gaze and…
Wren (as Eight): It is just absolutely absurd to think -- oh, there is someone.
Wren: I’ll just kinda stop short, in the middle of the street and tug on the reins for Bessie and… and have her stop as well.
Wren (as Eight): Arthas. Arthas...
Wren: And I’ll just kinda like, pat… pat you gently on the side.
Wren (as Eight): Arthas, what do we do?
Neil (as Arthas): I’ve been in this situation before. I’ll handle it. [loudly] I AM NOT A STREET PERFORMER! I AM NOT WEARING STILTS. I AM JUST THIS TALL. [regular volume, to Eight] That should sort that out.
Wren: I… quirk my head to the side. And you can see a puzzled expression cross my face as I hear you say this, Art. And...
Neil (as Arthas): Oh, right. [loudly] THIS IS NOT A COSTUME. THEY ALSO JUST LOOK LIKE THIS.
Wren: I hold up my hand.
Wren (as Eight): I… yes, thank you, Art. That’s-
Neil (as Arthas): You’re welcome.
Wren: I look to the stranger staring at me and Art, and uh, I will give a curt wave. Well… not curt, a polite wave.
Wren (as Eight): Hello!
Wren: And I’ll start approaching, slowly, my arms out. And I’ve let go of Bessie’s reins as well… and Bessie remains ever-placid as Bessie does.
Wren (as Eight): I am Eight. And I am a visitor to this... village…? City!
Taldoz (as Teddy): [muttering under his breath simultaneously] Do I talk first or do they talk first? Do I introduce myself? Eh… oh! Ho there… why would you sneak up on me?
Wren (as Eight): Sneak up on…? You were following me and my companion!
Taldoz (as Teddy): … why yes, I was! But that’s besides the point, why would you sneak up on a person like that?
Wren: Uh.... I scratch the, uh… the little plate on my head with one of my large index fing- with my large index finger and I turn and look at Art.
Wren (as Eight): Arthas, am I good at sneaking?
Neil (as Arthas): I am unsure. However, the evidence in front of us would suggest so, Eight.
Wren (as Eight): Huh… fascinating. I have not even been practicing that skill. Regardless, I-I am sorry, my friend. Uh… I am Eight. And you seem to be staring at me and my friend. I would love to know why.
Taldoz (as Teddy): That’s a very simple answer to your question. You are most indeed the most… interesting pair of individuals I have come across in my time here. It’s a pleasure to meet you. My name is Theodore Lawrence Briggs.
Wren (as Eight): Theodore Lawrence Briggs… excuse me if I’m wrong, but you’re not from this area, are you?
Taldoz (as Teddy): Ah ha! Very perceptive of you. No indeed, I am not. I am what you might call an explorer! An adventurer! A seeker of knowledge.
Wren (as Eight): Really?
Wren: Uh… y-you see my eyes kind of flash in an instant.
Wren (as Eight): I also seek knowledge! And Arthas is… Arthas is a crackerjack explorer and adventurer.
Neil (as Arthas): I certainly try.
Taldoz (as Teddy): How do you do that?
Wren (as Eight): What… what do you mean, how do I do that?
Taldoz (as Teddy): The… flashing. The lights. You are remarkable!
Wren (as Eight): Oh… th-these are just my ocular lenses. They do that. It’s no different than how you, uh… blink?
Wren: And you’ll… you’ll note that I never blink. There’s no shutter, there’s no anything on my eyes. I-I literally am just staring at you.
Taldoz (as Teddy): Fascinating.
Taldoz: Just kinda walking around you, taking a look.
Wren (as Eight): I vaguely recall something like this happening previously in my experience. Although last time I saw someone do this, it was with respect to a bird person I had come across. Theodore Lawrence Briggs-
Wren: I like, hold my arms up as you’re circling me. I… I look at Arthas.
Wren (as Eight): I have a very bizarre question to ask you: you wouldn’t happen to have a dwelling for the evening, would you?
Taldoz (as Teddy): Ah yes, indeed I do.
Wren (as Eight): Would you-
Taldoz (as Teddy): Ah... uh, where are my manners! I do apologize, I was staring and marveling at you. You have my sincerest apologies.
Wren (as Eight): That is most fine. I am used to being stared at. Um… if you’ll excuse me for just… one moment, Theodore Lawrence Briggs... I am going to confer with my friend, Simply Arthas.
Wren: And I will turn, and walk over to you, Art. And kinda like, give a little tug on your armor, at your shoulder. Or uh… at your elbow, I think, because you’re so tall. And kinda motion for you to bend down.
Taldoz (as Teddy): I shall begin counting! One… two…
Neil (as Arthas): What’s on your mind?
Taldoz (as Teddy): Simply Arthas, does this man frighten you?
Neil (as Arthas): Mmmm… no.
Wren (as Eight): Excellent. I am not frightened by them either. Do you think if it came down to it, we could take them in a fight?
Neil (as Arthas): Mmmm… yes.
Wren (as Eight): Wonderful. Would you be averse to us perhaps asking to stay with them for the evening? They seem particularly interested in me, and perhaps it would be easy to just simply… have a place to stay, for a night, without having to be a bother to any of the normal… Elves that live here? Hear me out! It seems a little strange but I-I thought I might float the idea, rather than just assuming that’s okay.
Neil (as Arthas): Mmmm… I agree. They seem… normal enough.
Wren (as Eight): Yes. Yes, they do seem quite normal. Wonderful. I will see what they say, and if it turns out we still need to find a place to stay, then that’s not a problem. Great! Great.
Wren: And I’ll just kind of… break from the-the little huddle that wasn’t really a huddle because you had to bend down to talk to me. And I’ll turn back to uh… Theodore Lawrence Briggs. And… walk… close that gap between the two of us again.
Neil: It’s okay, I’ll pick you up for the next one so it can be a huddle.
Wren (as Eight): Okay, great! [To Teddy] Theodore Lawrence Briggs. My friend and I are in need of a place to stay. And you seem most interested in better making our acquaintances. Uh… I would… pose the uh, mutually beneficial arrangement that you get to talk to me for an entire evening and we get a place to stay for the evening.
Dax (as Mira): If this is indeed your decision, then I shall leave you to it. Teddy is harmless but… try your best to stay out of trouble. Call on me if you need me.
Dax: And with that, Mira turns and walks away, leaving you in Teddy’s good graces.
Taldoz (as Teddy): Your terms are most agreeable! It is settled then. Besides, I had much to speak of with you and “Simply Arthas”, as you said.
Wren (as Eight): Excellent! Much to talk about! I have nothing but time.
Taldoz (as Teddy): And I have nothing but books.
Wren: You see my eyes kind of shift from a purplish color to like an energetic blue, as you say I have lots of books. And for the briefest of moments, the color flashes and then it shimmers back.
Wren (as Eight): Books!
Taldoz (as Teddy): Absolutely fascinating! Simply Arthas, does he often do this?
Neil (as Arthas): Frequently.
Wren (as Eight): You’ll find that I uh, express myself in ways that are not typical. Now come, let us go to your books, post-haste!
Taldoz (as Teddy): Tally-ho!
Dax: Eight and Arthas, the two of you are led by Teddy through the uh, I guess you could call them streets? Although they really aren’t laid out the same way that we would know streets to be. Imagine more along the lines of what you see at a Renaissance Faire where it’s just more like, pathways that have kinda been carved out based on where buildings were plopped and how often people walk down those little walkways. Leads you through a whole bunch of buildings and people, to kinda the edge of the city itself, where there is a… decently-sized uh, structure. Uh, again, as with the other buildings made of sticks and logs, the thatched roof… it doesn’t have a ton of moss, it looks like it was a relatively new construction. Teddy, you’ve probably only had this home, mmm… maybe for the last four months.
Taldoz (as Teddy): Here we are. Home sweet… not home.
Wren (as Eight): I do not believe that’s the typical turn of phrase.
Taldoz (as Teddy): No but… in my experience, home is never where you sleep, it is where you are at that very moment.
Wren (as Eight): Aw… I feel like that’s a nice sentiment. Uh… Theodore Lawrence Briggs, this-
Wren: And I look at the house. It looks fairly freshly constructed, you said?
Dax: Yeeeeah… I mean-
Wren: Noticeably newer?
Dax: I mean, four months of being in the woods? Yeah sure, it looks noticeably newer. Especially when you consider much of the buildings that you passed definitely appear to be of older construction… not really molding or rotting, but aged moss and thatching that appears to either be needing to be replaced.... this one looks like all the thatching is relatively new.
Wren (as Eight): Theordore Lawrence Briggs, this house seems peculiar. Is it… well… erm, I don’t mean to speak out of turn but you’re a stranger here, are you not? How do you have real estate?
Neil (as Arthas): Hmmm.
Taldoz (as Teddy): That is a very good question and an answer to which I will provide very shortly when I think of one.
Wren (as Eight): Follow-up question: is there enough room for Arthas to enter?
Taldoz (as Teddy): Simply Arthas, you are indeed a large, large being of incredible mass. You may have to duck down to get through the door.
Neil (as Arthas): I get that frequently. And of course.
Dax: Yeah, especially considering the spell that was put on you, Arthas, is no longer in effect and has not been for quite some time.
Neil: I don’t like to think about that.
Wren: We try not to talk about that.
Dax: I mean, it’s only been an hour so, ya know… Teddy, why don’t you describe what’s in your home?
Taldoz: When you enter the home, it is very barebones, and it looks almost as if no one lives there. There’s a small table in a corner of the first room, um… there’s… not- it’s not even really a second room so much as it is like, a wall dividing it into what has been converted into a sort of pseudo-study. There are dozens of papers scattered about on a very small desk. And piled up in the corner are about twenty or so books, of varying thickness and weight, and different sizes.
Aside from that, there’s uh, a few places that are kind of where you would… kinda, sorta think might be laundry? But it’s-it’s all just kind of jumbled together into a massive heap of… stuff. It’s very clear that the place that is spent the most time in is the pseudo-study. As messy as it is, it is almost immaculate in regards to any dust or dirt or anything, and there’s even a few uh, small plates of uh, food that haven’t been quite put away yet. And when it comes to like, lighting and stuff, most of the lighting obviously is natural. But uh... there is a window that is immediately behind the small desk and all the light kinda hits the desk. So it was- it’s very obviously that this was very purposefully placed here.
Wren: I’m just kinda standing and marveling at all of the books. And… uh… the-the little… taking note of the fact that the light uh, is specifically oriented to maximize research efficiency and... I kinda tap my fingers together.
Wren (as Eight): This place is… cozy.
Taldoz (as Teddy): That is one word to describe it. I would describe it as a pig-sty.
Wren (as Eight): I didn’t want to say that but I was certainly thinking it.
Taldoz (as Teddy): Not to worry! I understand very much that sometimes my own research gets ahead of my own cleanliness.
Wren (as Eight): Do you mind if I… start… cleaning up a little bit?
Wren: And I just kind of, move over to some of the-... the plates and start lifting up the-the silver and the… the plate and… looking at what’s left on it.
Taldoz: There’s like, not… like, literally crumbs. So it’s not like he left with like, a whole, you know… meal un-eaten there, it’s just…
Wren (as Eight): Is there a place I could put this? Like.. a-a sink or… a kitchenette?
Dax: Um, so I will say, all of the hovels were- are normally built with uh... buckets where you have to get well water and heat it over a fire and that kind of thing, if you want to either take a bath or… or wash dishes, so… There are implements but it’s not- it does not have some of the luxuries that Eight might normally be used to. Or even you, Teddy.
Taldoz (as Teddy): Ah, there is a place for them, yes… although I find that washing them tends to get in the way of my research.
Wren (as Eight): That’s fair. I… will find a good spot for them.
Wren: After you’ve made way for us to go in, I just kind of go around and just start collecting the plates and stacking them in a little corner and taking all the-the silver and putting 'em in a pile, as… as we’re just kind of settling in.
Taldoz: Teddy’s gonna assist you. He-he’s eccentric but he is not… an asshole. [laughs]
Dax: I don’t know… I’d be put… pretty aback if somebody came in and started cleaning up my house but I’m not Teddy. Arthas, so you see Eight is picking up this stranger’s house and the stranger is now helping Eight pick up the stranger’s house. What are you doing? You’ve had to scrunch a little bit to get into- and by a little bit, I mean a lotta bit, to get into this house. What are you doing?
Neil: Attempting to unravel any scrolls that I’ve brought in to start reading.
Dax: Yeah, sure! Easy enough. I mean, you would have had to grab them from Bessie’s pack and then bring them in with you, but that’s not a problem: easy enough, done. I will say that the first scroll that you got is just a list of names. Some of the names do appear familiar to you based off of your conversations with Sir Dynevy. And the other scroll has a little bit more detail, but because of all the detail it might require like, a magnifying glass or something, which I believe you carry with you, right?
Neil: … yes.
Dax: Uh, yeah so I- I’ll say it’s easy enough for you to look over both scrolls, easily enough, to start reading a little bit about the different gods of this pantheon.
Neil: All right. I’ll probably just settle in and uh, poke around that for a little bit.
Wren: As Art is poring over the scrolls that he has borrowed, and as we’re kind of finishing stacking things together, I’ve been kinda humming idly as we’re doing it. And then every now and then, will just kind of make a, uh… a weird comment as- as I put the plates down. Probably just something kind of akin to…
Wren (as Eight): Oop, settin’ the plate... plate goes on this plate... silver in the pile… and…
Wren: And I’ll look over my shoulder.
Wren (as Eight): Oh, Arthas! You’re already starting your research!
Wren: And I’ll hustle over to the table, just kinda like, put my palms down on the table and look over what you’re already reading.
Neil: I’m going to try to angle the magnifying glass so Eight can see it too.
Dax: Eight, you don’t need the magnifying glass in order to read it but y-you see Arthas is… angling it, and being considerate.
Wren (as Eight): Oh, thank you. Yes, that makes the words very big. That’s exciting!
Neil (as Arthas): Isn’t it?
Wren (as Eight): Absolutely! Oh, look at that! I don’t understand what this word is. Do you suppose it’s a name?
Neil (as Arthas): I certainly hope so.
Dax: Eight, I will say that you recognize this list. Many of the names are names that you have heard, whether on your journey or Mother referenced them quite often. Uh… you know some of the myths about some of the gods, and some of the legends. Nothing right off the bat flies off the page to you as anything new.
Wren (as Eight): Hmmm… Arthas. These are all fairly normal gods, as part of the typical pantheon. Though I suppose the fact that you came from a secluded mountain civilization means that you’re unfamiliar with these. Uh… you don’t suppose… one of these gods are the ones that you’re trying to find, do you?
Neil (as Arthas): You never know. Better safe than sorry… if any of the myths match up, I know which one I’m looking for.
Wren (as Eight): Okay, that’s fair. It does make sense to be thorough.
Wren: And… like, suddenly, I snap my head up.
Wren (as Eight): Oh! We’re being rude, aren’t we? Theodore Lawrence Briggs, you wanted to… speak about something?
Taldoz (as Teddy): No more rude than I was, staring at you a moment earlier.
Wren (as Eight): Yes, you’re staring again.
Taldoz (as Teddy): I am just very impressed by the gigantic girth of that man.
Wren: I look over at Arthas.
Neil (as Arthas): I certainly appreciate the flattery but where I’m from, everyone is like this.
Taldoz (as Teddy): What indeed are you trying to research? I heard something of pantheons, and gods, and a mountain village. [mutters to self, then to the group] Too busy trying not to drop my silverware…
Neil (as Arthas): Other pantheons about the world and how they can relate to our pantheon, for personal research.
Taldoz (as Teddy): Personal research… intriguing. Well, I am not one to judge nor to pry into your personal matters. I will, however, pry into your personal matters and ask why is your name “Simply Arthas”?
Neil (as Arthas): Well, my name is actually Arthas Boston Wapon Dynevy Marston Thurlow Lilford, the Champion of Offam. “Simply Arthas” is just what Eight calls me as it’s... much less of a mouthful.
Taldoz (as Teddy): I am inclined to agree.
Neil (as Arthas): And why are you called “Teddy”?
Taldoz (as Teddy): Why, that is a long and arduous story but the short of it is I am named after my grandfather, Theodore Antony Lawrence Briggs, Adventurer Extraordinaire, scholar of… no ill refute, I guarantee it.
Neil (as Arthas): I will keep that in mind. Good name.
Wren (as Eight): Did you say, “Theodore Anthony Lawrence Briggs”?
Taldoz (as Teddy): No “H” -- Antony.
Wren (as Eight): Antony.
Taldoz (as Teddy): Very important. Theodore Anthony Lawrence Briggs was my great grand uncle.
Wren (as Eight): Ah.
Taldoz (as Teddy): Terrible man.
Wren (as Eight): Oh!
Taldoz (as Teddy): Murdered three people.
Wren (as Eight): Oh… is the Antony not part of your name, then?
Taldoz (as Teddy): No, it is not.
Wren (as Eight): Okay then, I will not call you “Theodore Antony Lawrence Briggs”. I just wanted to make sure. Theodore Lawrence Briggs, what are you studying?
Wren: And I just, kind of… look for the nearest book and pick it up.
Taldoz (as Teddy): Well, to answer your question simply, the answer is yes.
Wren (as Eight): Uh… you’re… researching “yes”?
Taldoz (as Teddy): Indeed, yes!
Wren (as Eight): How does one research “yes”?
Taldoz (as Teddy): Well, firstly you have to uh, understand and define what “yes” means. Then, you must adequately prepare a dissertation on what you mean by “yes” and then you have to go to another continent to understand what their definition of “yes” is.
Wren (as Eight): Do you mean to imply that “yes” means different things depending on where you are?
Taldoz (as Teddy): I mean to imply that “yes” means yes.
Wren (as Eight): Of course “yes” means yes, what else could “yes” mean?
Taldoz (as Teddy): No.
Wren (as Eight): No… no means no, “yes” would never mean no. They’re “antithecal” to one another.
Taldoz (as Teddy): Yes.
Wren (as Eight): Good. Good, that’s settled. But-
Wren: And I-I hold the book and just kind of, flop it open.
Wren (as Eight): This subject matter doesn’t appear to be about “yes”.
Taldoz (as Teddy): No, that is indeed one of the books written by one of my instructors.
Wren (as Eight): Instructors? Are you… are you a student?
Taldoz (as Teddy): I was a student once. Not anymore - I’ve broken out and I’m attempting to make my own name on the world. I see you’ve grabbed uh, “Money of the Swamp”, a very, very fine book indeed.
Wren (as Eight): “Money of the Swamp”... fascinating. There’s some very tasteful pictures in here.
Wren: And I just kind of, thumb through idly.
Taldoz (as Teddy): You’ll never find a better book on the ins and outs of corruption in academia.
Wren (as Eight): Oh… so the title is metaphorical.
Taldoz (as Teddy): And literal!
Wren (as Eight): Hmm. Was your school in the middle of a swamp?
Taldoz (as Teddy): No, but my instructor was once… tr- attempted to be murdered by drowning him in a swamp. Very strange, I don’t know the entire story.
Wren: I’ll close the book and put it back where I got it.
Wren (as Eight): So… you’ve come to this village to study “yes”.
Taldoz (as Teddy): I’ve come to this village to map out all of the portals and all of the ways in and out of… various planes. I am not well-liked.
Wren (as Eight): Here? Or just in general?
Taldoz (as Teddy): Yes.
Wren (as Eight): I see… that’s a shame. Arthas, I’m well-liked, am I not?
Wren: I turn and look at Arthas.
Neil (as Arthas): Positively.
Wren (as Eight): Arthas is also well-regarded. I can’t imagine what life would be like if people did not like me.
Taldoz (as Teddy): Take it from me: nothing really changes.
Wren (as Eight): Oh, well that’s good at least.
Taldoz (as Teddy): So long as you are true to yourself and to no one else, nothing changes at all.
Wren (as Eight): Not even your friends? Are you true to your friends?
Taldoz (as Teddy): Being true to yourself is an extension of being true to your friends.
Wren (as Eight): I suppose. Because your friends should like you for who you are.
Taldoz (as Teddy): Indubitably!
Wren (as Eight): I see… yes.
Taldoz (as Teddy): Yes!
Wren (as Eight): That makes sense. Theodore Lawrence Briggs-
Taldoz (as Teddy): Eight.
Wren (as Eight): I… recently parted ways with friends who have traveled from a different plane of existence.
Taldoz (as Teddy): Then my intuition was correct.
Wren (as Eight): What did your intuition tell you?
Taldoz (as Teddy): My intuition told me that you were indeed one of the most interesting beings I have ever laid eyes upon. And quite possibly one of the only few individuals who I could trust to escort me to a place of very much… shall we say, hmm… secretive research, that may or may not be... allowed.
Wren (as Eight): Is it dangerous?
Taldoz (as Teddy): Not at all! … Mostly. … Yes.
Wren (as Eight): Dangerous? You need… assistance? Research? This is checking off a few boxes on my list. Arthas! Arthas, are you hearing this?
Neil (as Arthas): Dangerous research, you say?
Wren (as Eight): But… for a good cause?
Taldoz (as Teddy): What greater cause than the furtherment of knowledge?
Wren (as Eight): Yes! Yes! Okay, um...
Wren: Just… very excited expression crossing my face. Just... my… the-the lower part of my jaw just kind of turns up into this enormous smile.
Wren (as Eight): I-
Taldoz (as Teddy): Terrifying!
Wren (as Eight): I would-
Taldoz (as Teddy): … but fascinating.
Wren (as Eight): I would absolutely love to assist in this research and… ooh, and Arthas! Arthas loves helping people! You love helping people, don’t you Arthas?
Wren: And I like, exci-... excitedly turn to you. [soft chuckle]
Neil (as Arthas): I certainly do.
Wren (as Eight): W-When… when do you need to go? And where do you need to go? I suppose that’s the more important question.
Taldoz (as Teddy): As luck would have it, I have been doing my best to map out the area without letting anybody else know. It has been very hard and very arduous. People tend to not like this thing.
Wren (as Eight): Your research?
Taldoz (as Teddy): The mapping out, but… yes, that too.
Wren (as Eight): Oh yes… the people here are particularly protective of their location. They seem to want to keep it a secret from the world outside.
Taldoz (as Teddy): I do not blame them, nor do I begrudge them. I understand their reservations. I, however, must know these things so that I may... come and go without… dying.
Wren (as Eight): That seems important. Though… that begs another question: you arrived here, and they… let you stay?
Taldoz (as Teddy): I have made myself useful, and I have made myself very, very… indispensable. I routinely ask for more things to read.
Wren (as Eight): Is that all it takes?
Taldoz (as Teddy): It’s all it took for me. It also may partly be because I may have actually… not told them precisely why I’m here.
Wren (as Eight): That would complicate things as well, if you’re trying to find assistance and you can’t ask anyone for help.
Taldoz (as Teddy): I have read the same 30-page dissertation on explorers seventeen times.
Wren (as Eight): You don’t have it memorized by now?
Taldoz (as Teddy): You could give me a page and I could quote the entire thing.
Wren: You said it’s very lightly furnished so there isn’t really even any… are there chairs? Is there like a chair?
Taldoz: There’s like, two chairs.
Wren: Two chairs.
Taldoz: And a stool.
Wren: Oh, excellent.
Neil: Make a nest!
[Taldoz and Neil laugh]
Taldoz (as Teddy): This here is the clean pile.
Wren: I uh, pull the stool out from wherever it is and sit on it. And just kind of, place a hand on my… my knee. Eight themselves is… they’re composed of smatterings of… almost like, wood and vines that are-are kinda twisted and uh... tightly packed together to make almost like a musculature. And then those muscles are covered with white plates that have gunmetal trim so they’ve kind of got like a rose-gold trim with nice, polished white plating. Um, so I take my-my hand and just kinda place it on my-my knee which is that muscle-y wooden material, and tap my… my large fingers on my knee a couple times.
Wren (as Eight): I assume discretion would be required for this mission.
Taldoz (as Teddy): That would be most preferable, as I have come to enjoy the people here very much.
Wren (as Eight): They seem fairly nice, despite the fact that they threatened us in the woods. And blindfolded us. And separated me and Arthas from our companions.
Taldoz (as Teddy): Did you offer them a piece of bread?
Wren (as Eight): Come to think of it, we did not. However-
Wren: And I lean forward.
Wren (as Eight): Arthas gave them a knuckle sandwich when we first met them.
[Taldoz guffaws]
Neil (as Arthas): I did indeed. Their first mistake was threatening me with a bow.
Wren (as Eight): They threatened all of us with bows.
Neil (as Arthas): That was the second mistake.
Taldoz (as Teddy): Very odd. They threatened me with multiple sharp objects.
Wren (as Eight): Yet they seem so nice when you get to their village.
Taldoz (as Teddy): Absolutely wonderful people, would not trade them for the world.
Wren (as Eight): What, in particular, would you need from us on this expedition? Note taking?
Taldoz (as Teddy): Note taking would be very helpful.
Wren (as Eight): Drawing?
Taldoz (as Teddy): Drawing would be very helpful, as I can only draw so many things. Perhaps when we arrive at the nearest uh… I suppose they might be considered a portcullis of sorts... I’m still working out what to call them in my own writings. Should anything attempt to attack or murder us, such as… I don’t know, uh… monsters, devils, demons, uh… faeries… I believe there was a dragon at some point in one of the writings I read. Uhm… if anything should try and come out of them and do something horrible and deadly, allow me to know so that we may… leave, post-haste.
Wren: With each category you list off, I shake my head excitedly like,
Wren (as Eight): Ooh yes! Mhm, mhm those are dangerous. Okay!
Wren: And when you’re done, I cross my arms.
Wren (as Eight): That makes sense. And I am most pleased that you did not say we would have to fight them.
Dax: Arthas, the last thing you hear is “dragon” and you remember from your book that… fighting a dragon is one of the greatest things that a knight can do.
Neil: I do not know if I have to make a check to continue being as short as I am.
Dax: No, you don’t have to. It’s getting a little uncomfortable but I’m not gonna make you check for it. [laughs]
Neil: Before uh, excitedly sending myself through his ceiling. But… upon hearing “dragon”, I have stopped researching and… well, now I’m just excited!
Dax: Did-did you just say you stand up and totally demolish Teddy’s ceiling? If you want, and you want to prevent actually standing up entirely… I-I could have - if you really want, if it’ll make you feel better about it, I can make you do a Coordination check or we could just say that it’s like, that moment where you go to stand up but then your head hits the roof and you like, manage to stop yourself... if you want, we can do that. Make it a hard Coordination check, only because I know how excited Arthas gets at the thought of completing another deed towards knighthood.
Neil: Ah! Two threats and a failure, my favorite.
Dax: Teddy, you no longer have a roof.
Taldoz (as Teddy): Absolutely terrifying.
Wren (as Eight): I-I’m so sorry. We- we typically don’t stay in small buildings like this. Most of our time traveling has been spent in the desert.
Neil (as Arthas): Eight! Collect your things. We’re going to go kill a dragon.
Wren (as Eight): We’re going to… w-what?
Neil (as Arthas): Immediately.
Taldoz (as Teddy): I like your spunk. You’ve got a very “go get em” attitude. I see I’ve chosen correctly.
Neil (as Arthas): I will collect Bessie.
Wren (as Eight): Did… just… treat her gently.
Neil (as Arthas): Very much so!
Taldoz (as Teddy): I assume Bessie is the automated ass.
Wren (as Eight): Bessie is my mechanical donkey, yes.
Taldoz (as Teddy): Mechanical donkey. I will use that from now on. Thank you for correcting me.
Wren (as Eight): It’s easy to... [chuckles] get the vernaculars mistaken.
Dax: So Arthas steps out of the house, probably notices that quite a few people are looking in the direction of the house since the roof has been blown off of it. Um, I imagine Teddy and Eight use the door to exit the house. [snickers] Um… all right, yeah. So… carry on.
Music shifts to a mysterious piano [45:58]
Taldoz: Is there a lock on the door?
Dax: I mean if you want there to be one, it could be like one of those like, boards that lock the door.
Taldoz: I’m gonna take care to look at the open roof and then very carefully lock the door.
Taldoz (as Teddy): You never know when someone may intrude on your home.
Wren (as Eight): That’s a very good point. I hope that won’t cost a lot to repair.
Dax: Uh… I believe that I had said that at this point, it’s probably getting close to… eh, it’s at the tail end of the dinner hour by this point. So… 6:30ish maybe, 7:00?
Wren (as Eight): Theodore Lawrence Briggs, where will we be headed?
Taldoz (as Teddy): We will be heading somewhere towards that direction.
Wren: I tu- I turn my head to follow the direction you were pointing.
Taldoz (as Teddy): Wait, no. I had it wrong; it was upside down.
Taldoz: I turn the makeshift map upside down in my hands.
Taldoz (as Teddy): That way! Towards the… wait, nope. I had it… off-kilter… that way! Northeast!
Wren (as Eight): To the northeast! Arthas. Arthas! Did you hear which way we’re going? He’s… very excited right now.
Neil (as Arthas): I did! And I hope this is it!
Wren (as Eight): Yes it is. You-you guessed… correctly.
Neil (as Arthas): Spectacular!
Wren (as Eight): Are we just going to go wandering out of the-the forest?
Dax: That, my friends, is where we are going to end the session. Please tune in next time to see what Eight and Arthas and Teddy find out, and what kind of danger they may or may not be in.
Mysterious music ends [47:52]
Dax: Thanks for listening! We hope you’ll join us next time, but in the interim, follow us on Twitter @Roadsuncharted. The “Roads Uncharted” podcast is GMed and produced by Dax using the Genesys roleplaying system published by Fantasy Flight Games. You can follow me on Twitter @GM_Dax.
Eight is played by Wren, who also composed the music for our opening theme. Follow them on Twitter @ThornyDyad.
Arthas, Champion of Offam, was played by Neil.
And Teddy Briggs is played by our guest, Tal. Follow him on Twitter @Taldoz1 and check out his art.