As they near the end of their underground journey, the group meets someone with an unusual problem.
Content Warning: This episode contains descriptions of rotting corpses and the after-effects of death and decay. If you would rather not hear this, please skip 33:12 to 33:44, 35:41 to 35:52, and 40:51 to 41:10. Your safety and comfort are important to us.
Taking the loss of two of their guides seriously, Rou, Eight, and Arthas agree to be more cautious going forward. After a week of traveling underground, their Sciuren guides depart and the trio is left to travel the remaining tunnels on their own. When they hear a cry for help, they hesitate before jumping to assist.
Carefully following the voice down the tunnel, the group finds themselves confronted with a talking skeleton who has been trapped in the wall for one hundred years. They are able to devise a way to free the skeleton, with some mixed results.
Follow Dax @GM_Dax, Kappa @TheKappaChris, and Wren @ThornyDryad
Transcript by CJ Kallevig
Upbeat piano intro ends [00:28]
Somber piano music begins [00:29]
Wren (as Eight): Hello, I am Eight, and you are listening to Roads Uncharted. Previously on Roads Uncharted, our adventuring group was accosted by a roving gang of vicious, puss-filled, undead wolves of sort? Our Sciuren companions and guides attacked valiantly and did their best to assist us in the combat that ensued. As these creatures fell upon us in the middle of the night, well, what can be considered night when you are deep underground, as we arranged our camp. In the end we repelled the attack, though we lost the lives of two of our guides and companions.
Music shifts to a melancholy piano [01:26]
Wren: I would probably want to convene the group of us together and basically as the Sciuren go about setting up camp and finalizing any other burial rites or other passages, I will grab my medical kit and kind of place it down next to Rou. I will turn and look to Arthas. My eyes are kind of a very dim violet at this point. I say,
Wren (as Eight): Arthas, if you would, a brief moment of your time?
Neil (as Arthas): Of course.
Wren: In that moment, as we all kind of gather, I will say, kind of softly, trying my best not to bother the Sciuren as they’re busy.
Wren (as Eight): My companions, I cannot help but feel slightly guilty for the deaths of our guides as our arrival here brought these creatures out into the open, rendering them ripe for the picking as it were. How do both of you feel regarding the events that have just transpired?
Neil (as Arthas): I mean, you couldn’t have known.
Kappa: Rou kind of dips his head and softly says,
Kappa (as Rou): It’s true, we could not have known. But I believe Eight is right, or at least I agree with Eight. Our presence here has cost the lives of two of their warriors.
Wren: I lift my head.
Wren (as Eight): I’m not certain what recompense we can make for those losses. That said, perhaps it would be best if we proceed the remainder of this time in relative silence. To help avoid any superstitions that these Sciuren might hold.
Kappa (as Rou): Or at the very least, proceed with stealth.
Wren: I nod my head tentatively.
Wren (as Eight): I was not created for stealth; however, I will endeavor to perform at my peak to maximize my silent potential.
Kappa (as Rou): And I agree, I believe we should also heed the warnings of the Sciuren. They know this place way better than we do. I was arrogant in thinking that they were just mere superstitions, as you say.
Wren (as Eight): I must also add, these creatures were easy to control using mind bending capabilities of which I possess. I am suspicious as to the nature of their existence. It’s not wholly natural, there must be some sort of darker power causing these strange shambling, pus-filled, creatures to roam these caves.
Kappa (as Rou): Do you believe that there is an entity monitoring us? Or at least controlling these beasties?
Wren: I look Rou square in the face.
Wren (as Eight): Tell me, Rou. As you hail from the West, where technological advances are hailed as marvels of modernity, do your people believe in gods? Or spiritual entities higher than that of mortals?
Kappa (as Rou): It’s not unheard of, but they’re mostly regarded as fairy tales, folk tales, children’s stories. At least, where I’m from. Admittedly, Baukora is a large place, many people. Many different beliefs.
Wren: I maintain a very stoic face as you’re responding and then once you finish, I nod slightly.
Wren (as Eight): I see. Here in the East, it is commonplace knowledge that the gods exist and quite frequently interfere with the lives of mortal men and women and everything in-between. That said, I would not be surprised if these creatures were created through some sort of divine power. For there are gods that hold sway over life and death. Just as there are gods that hold sway over all aspects of life. I personally,
Wren: And I point to my chest.
Wren (as Eight): Had the good fortune of meeting with a god of nature, who bestowed a slight boon upon me. And to that point, I have an inkling that these creatures we have fought do not obey the typical laws of the natural balance.
Kappa (as Rou): Wait, wait, wait, wait. Back up a second. You can’t just casually mention that you have met a god.
Wren (as Eight): Oh! I’m sorry, should I have said that with a little more emphasis? Pomp and circumstance?
Kappa (as Rou): Perhaps? I’m not sure. This is, meeting a, like, you can just meet them? You don’t have to die or, you know, enter some sort of ritual and transcend your consciousness or something to meet a deity?
Wren (as Eight): Not as far as I’m aware. In fact, I am led to believe that most gods in the eastern realms and throughout the land of Rejiev, are capricious in their dealings with humans and other mortals.
Kappa (as Rou): Are you sure they’re gods? Not just some very powerfully magic person?
Wren (as Eight): I cannot be certain of most anything. Though, the creature I did meet with seemed to hold themselves as some sort of divine entity. They were slightly mischievous, though, very kind and aware of the natural balance around them. I believe they called themselves Lohr. And they took the form of a small, lost, and frightened child. They required assistance from me. Whether this was a test, a ploy, or, in fact, an unexpected misfortune that fell upon them, I cannot be certain. But I did help in removing rocks that covered their legs and saved them from a grievous life or death situation.
Kappa: My face is super puzzled.
Kappa (as Rou): At first I think I’m understanding the East, and then something like this just is thrown onto my lap. Anyway. I appreciate -- you’ll have to go into greater detail over the campfire, Eight. But I agree, I... but as for our means of travel? I think proceeding with extra caution is in order. Whether it’s deity or some magical force or something that will be, lay as obstacles in our path, to be more ready.
Wren (as Eight): And we should make doubly certain that our guides and escorts are protected with fierce devotion.
Kappa (as Rou): Do you think you could carry them on your shoulders, Arthas?
Neil (as Arthas): More than likely. Is this all of them?
Wren (as Eight): We have four of them at this point, due to our losses during this conflict. That said, if Arthas is unwilling to compromise his flexibility, I do not believe Bessie would complain with having small cargo added to her back.
Kappa (as Rou): Yes, that is fair. I just suggested Arthas as Arthas is very high off the ground and most of our threats are probably going to be on the ground.
Neil (as Arthas): I’d be more than happy to.
Kappa (as Rou): Just a suggestion, maybe they might not even be up to it. They are very proud.
Neil (as Arthas): I mean, Eight, you seem to have the best rapport with them so far. Would you want to ask?
Wren: I shake my head, my eyes brighten slightly at the prospect of me, Eight, having the best rapport with a new creature.
Wren (as Eight): I might talk to them. Perhaps if it was framed in the sense of a higher vantage point, more defensible, a place more befitting warriors. They might be more willing to cooperate. After all, you are very tall Arthas.
Neil (as Arthas): I can’t argue with you on that point.
Wren (as Eight): Then it seems we have an accord. We proceed with utmost caution and protect the small furry companions that we have left. To ensure that we do not cause the loss of any more life as we proceed through these tunnels.
Dax: So we’re going to do a little time jump. You traversed over a week with the Sciuren, who guided you through the twists and turns and essentially labyrinth that is these underground tunnels. You definitely got the impression that now you understand why merchants travel with guides and with security. You didn’t run into any more of those strange dogs. You were able to avoid a lot of the traps and pitfalls, the Sciuren explaining ‘oh down that hallway is this danger’ or ‘down that hallway, we don’t go down there because of this reason’.
It took you a week to get through the worst of the tunnels. And then the Sciuren left you to your own devices, explaining that at this point you’ve gotten through the worst. The rest are relatively safe and while there are some twists and turns, it is not nearly as confusing. And the rest of your journey should be relatively safe just as the Queen decreed. It’s been a few days since your Sciuren companions have left you. Your trek to Kidohlva is now more than halfway through. You have had to ration what little food you did have and with the exception of an abandoned barrel or a sack from the merchant caravans here and there, you've really relied on Eight’s food paste to get you through. What are some of the things that the three of you have done over your week-plus long journey through these tunnels?
Neil: I’m keeping a running tally of the amount of carved bricks I have seen passing through the tunnel.
Dax: Did you say carved bricks?
Neil: Yes! Just looking on the wall and counting while I walk.
Dax: You have found eight.
Neil: And every time I see one, oh boy, it’s a wild time!
Kappa: I have been practicing on how to fight using two halves of my staff. It’s not going very well, in case anyone was wondering.
Wren: I would probably do my best to speak with the Sciurens and learn more about their culture. Also question: did they buy into the whole “riding on Arthas” ploy?
Dax: So I was going to bring that up. So, I will say that some of their cultural, I guess you could call them mysteries, they kept pretty close to the chest. They were willing to share how leadership is determined and some of their reason why they are hiding down in the tunnels. Other things more related to religion and rituals, they did not really go into details. Saying “you had to be Sciuren to understand” was usually their excuse.
When you originally approached them about riding on Arthas or Bessie, as much as they appreciated the gesture, they didn’t exactly buy into the “it is higher up and therefore safer”. I mean, these are creatures that spend their lives in the tunnels. They know, they’d rather not trust Arthas or Bessie’s feet to get them through more dangerous areas. At this point in your journey, which one of the three of you is kind of taking the lead in determining which tunnels are the most safe to try and trek through?
Neil: I’ll take the lead.
Dax: Okay. Arthas, please give me a Survival check at Hard difficulty. So, three purple please.
Kappa: Oh, I’m not sure I like that.
Neil: Alright, let’s go.
[Dice rolling sounds]
Neil: One Success and a Threat.
Dax: Why don’t we say, go ahead and take one Strain for that Threat? The thought process being while you are used to being underground, this is a very wholly new area to you and the tunnels just don’t appear to you to be as well-thought out as something your people would do. And it’s a little stressful. Like the, “I know they could have done this better. Why did they do it this way?” kind of thing.
Neil: Yeah.
Dax: As you’re walking through the tunnels, you’re taking left, right, left, left. You’re traversing your way pretty successfully. You hear a,
Dax (as a bodiless voice): [deeper, hoarse voice] Hello? Hello?
Tense string music with thumping fades in[15:56]
Dax: Coming from one of the tunnels.
Wren (as Eight): I’m curious as to the origination of the sound. Arthas, do you believe it safe to approach this person requesting assistance?
Neil (as Arthas): I can certainly give it a shot.
Wren (as Eight): Well, I meant for all three of us to go. For I would never send you blindly, alone, into the face of possible danger.
Neil (as Arthas): Ahh.
Kappa: Rou crosses his arms and just shakes his head.
Wren (as Eight): Or, perhaps we can respond to their queries with loud voices from this exact location?
Neil (as Arthas): I don’t see any harm in it.
Neil: I bring my hand up to my mouth and call back down the tunnel,
Neil (as Arthas): Hello.
Dax (as a bodiless voice): Are you able to help me? I’m stuck!
Neil (as Arthas): Where are you stuck?
Dax (as bodiless voice): I’m trapped, down at the end of the tunnel!
Neil: Well, I’m going to make my way down to the end of the tunnel.
Wren: Follow after Arthas and I just put my one hand on the side of my mouth, I’m holding Bessie’s reins with the other.
Wren (as Eight): How are you trapped? And in what way did you come to be trapped?
Kappa (as Rou): And are you trying to trap us?
Dax (as a bodiless voice): Uh, once you see you’ll understand. It’s a long story, just help!
Wren (as Eight): We have nothing but time down here!
Wren: And I turn to Rou and look.
Wren (as Eight): I have been told that seeing is believing.
Kappa (as Rou): True. True. Let the record show that I am very apprehensive about this.
Wren (as Eight): I will make a note of this and do everything I can to assuage some of those worries.
Kappa (as Rou): I appreciate that. Let’s go.
Dax: The three of you head down this tunnel and after a few minutes you are able to reach the end of the tunnel. Especially you, Arthas, with your long strides. When you get to the end of the tunnel, the three of you see before you a skeleton, trapped in the wall. The head, the hands just below the wrist and then the ankle, one foot just above the ankle is all you can see. The hands are waving kind of wildly.
Dax (as the skeleton): Oh good you made it. Oh, oh. Oh thank the deities.
Wren: It’s kind of like a “Han Solo frozen in carbonite” more or less?
Dax: Yeah! Yeah, exactly like that but a skeleton. Mhmm.
Kappa: None of this is making my worries go down.
Neil (as Arthas): Sir, I don’t mean to alarm you, but your skin is not there.
Dax: The skeleton head you see kind of tilts just a little bit to look at the hands.
Dax (as the skeleton): Yeah, I know. I know.
Wren (as Eight): I must say, I was not expecting to see someone who is already deceased embedded in a wall. I was expecting perhaps a haggard and withered old man with a long straggly gray beard, stranded under a pile of fallen rubble. Perhaps pinned at the waist down? Is this what we call disappointment? I feel like I’m feeling disappointment.
Kappa (as Rou): It is very much disappointment.
Wren (as Eight): I do not care for this sensation. Excuse me, sir? What is your name? Or ma’am? I’m not sure how to address you. What do you call yourself?
Dax (as the skeleton): [in a less raspy voice] You can call me Arcterus.
Whimsical carnival music fades in[19:43]
Wren (as Eight): How long have you been down here, good Arcterus?
Dax (as Arcterus): Well, let’s see. Who currently is ruling over Azarra?
Wren (as Eight): Who was ruling over Azarra last time you knew?
Dax (as Arcterus): Queen Catherine.
Dax: I will say y’all do know who rules over Azarra because Eight made a very big threat to bring him down.
Wren (as Eight): That is not who is currently in charge. I would say you have been down here for some time. Though, I cannot specifically say how long because I do not know the history of the lineage of rulers in Azarra.
Dax (as Arcterus): Let’s see…
Dax: You see the digits on these fingers start counting one at a time, and they go for a few seconds before the skeleton just,
Dax (as Arcterus): [sighs] I think it’s been about a hundred years. Maybe longer?
Wren (as Eight): I would say that’s impossible, save for the fact that you are a skeleton who is moving, talking, and thinking of their own volition.
Kappa (as Rou): Or you’re a puppet and we are about to be accosted from behind.
Wren: I will turn around abruptly.
Kappa: Rou turns around abruptly as he finishes that sentence.
Neil (as Arthas): I don’t believe he’s a puppet. I don’t see any strings and I don’t see any space I can fit my hand inside of him.
Dax (as Arcterus): No, no. There will be no hand fitting or anything. Just.. [sighs] I’m not a puppet. I’m not here to cause you harm. I was a professor at the University in Kidohlva, I was sent down here to map some tunnels a little over a hundred years ago. I went to teleport out and well, you can see what happened as a result of that teleportation spell.
Wren (as Eight): You used magic that you are not suited to perform.
Dax (as Arcterus): I wouldn’t say I’m not suited, I just miscalculated.
Wren: I turn my head and quirk a brow.
Wren (as Eight): Have you always been a skeleton?
Dax (as Arcterus): No. This is where I sat until I starved to death. Went thirsty and, for some reason, my soul has not moved on and I am stuck. Do you think you could help me?
Kappa (as Rou): Well, that’s really sad. I mean, if you promise that no harm will come to us from helping you?
Dax (as Arcterus): I promise, I don’t mean anybody any harm. I just want to not be here anymore.
Kappa (as Rou): I just find it very hard to believe you’ve been here for over a hundred years and no one has decided to “oh you know, let’s get the skeleton out of the wall”.
Dax (as Arcterus): Well, most people don’t come down this way.
Wren (as Eight): Why not? Your begging was quite insistent.
Dax (as Arcterus): I don’t know. When I first came down here, the tunnels were not in use. People weren’t allowed down here, and I’ve only seen one person come by since. Maybe, maybe twenty years ago? Maybe?
Dax: You see this skeleton tilting its head every so often. As if it were looking up to the right and trying to remember.
Dax (as Arcterus): But they just laughed at me and stole my pack.
Kappa (as Rou): Those fiends.
Neil (as Arthas): What were you professor of?
Dax (as Arcterus): History.
Neil (as Arthas): Hmmm.
Dax (as Arcterus): That’s why I was down here trying to map out the tunnels. The headmaster of the University sent me down here shortly after they reversed the law making it illegal to take maps and track down here. He wanted records for the archives.
Wren (as Eight): Well, friends, I do not see any harm in excavating a skeleton from the walls of this cavern.
Neil (as Arthas): I have a pickax.
Dax (as Arcterus): No, no I don’t, I don’t, no, no. You see, I’ve had a long time to think about this. I don’t know if that would solve the problem.
Wren (as Eight): What wouldn’t solve the problem?
Dax (as Arcterus): Well, what would taking me out of the wall do to get my.
Dax: And the skeleton waves its hands to kind of gesture, as if it had a body.
Dax (as Arcterus): What would taking me out of here do?
Wren (as Eight): Give you the freedom to settle any unsettled business you might still have that tethers you to this mortal coil.
Kappa (as Rou): Or you could just walk around as a skeleton.
Wren (as Eight): Which is also an option.
Neil (as Arthas): I’ve never met a skeleton that can walk and talk.
Kappa (as Rou): You can be the first.
Neil (as Arthas): Yeah!
Wren (as Eight): Though, I would imagine that most people would be more than happy to destroy you if they come across you in the wild. We seem to be an oddity in most cases.
Kappa (as Rou): Could we excavate the rock around you? Put you on some wheels and you could see the world that way?
Dax (as Arcterus): I don’t know if I want to leave this tunnel now.
Wren (as Eight): We could leave if you would prefer.
Dax (as Arcterus): I...
Dax: The skeleton looks up as best it can, to the left and then to the right.
Dax (as Arcterus): I- I just don’t know if trying to break open the wall will cause the rest of the tunnels to come down over our heads. I’d hate to see the three of you suffer the same fate I did. It’s not a pleasant one.
Kappa (as Rou): Could we perhaps just take your head and bring you with us?
Dax: The skeleton pauses.
Dax (as Arcterus): Hmm. We could try.
Kappa (as Rou): Are you emotionally attached to the rest of your bone-age? I mean you did survive death and decay once before.
Dax (as Arcterus): This is true, it’s very true.
Kappa (as Rou): What’s a little decapitation supposed to do?
Dax (as Arcterus): Alright.
Neil: What would I roll to check the wall and see if it’s um, something that I could be excavating or digging out?
Wren: Is this a load bearing wall?
Kappa: It's a load bearing skeleton.
Dax: Why don’t you give me a Knowledge check and let’s make it Easy difficulty? I mean, you’re around stone quite a bit.
Neil: Gotcha. Knowledge, Easy.
[Dice rolling sounds]
Neil: I have one Success and that’s it.
Dax: While you can’t be certain what’s on the other side of the wall, you do know as you are searching the walls themselves and the ceiling, because you’re up high enough you can actually get a pretty close eye on it. Because of the age of this tunnel and the fact that it has not been supported and restructured the way that other tunnels where the merchants are doing a lot of traveling have been fortified, it has a very good likely chance that if you were to break into the wall, it could collapse. It’s holding steady now, but there’s no telling if it’s worth the risk.
Wren (as Eight): The other option would be to use magic to excavate the skeletal remains from the rock. Minimizing damage to the structural integrity of the substrate.
Kappa (as Rou): Okay, Mr. Skeletal Rock Expert, do you think that would work?
Dax (as Arcterus): Are you asking me?
Kappa (as Rou): Oh yes, sorry. Arcterus?
Dax (as Arcterus): I mean, I, might I say worth a try I guess? Maybe? I don’t know. I’m not a geologist. That was Professor Wimple’s deal.
Wren (as Eight): I suppose that really leaves the question up to you, friend. Would you prefer your head be removed from your body, which obviously is no longer doing you any good? Or would you prefer us to attempt a magical excavation?
Dax (as Arcterus): Let’s try the head first.
Neil: Do we, do we just pluck it off his neck or…?
Dax: And you watch as the jaw of this skeleton snaps shut and you can, you can hear the sound of grinding as it’s trying to clench its mouth. You can imagine that if this were a person that still had a face, they’d be grimacing with their eyes shut. Bracing for what’s about to come.
Wren (as Eight): Whoever would like to remove the head, please, be my guest.
Kappa: I look over at Arthas.
Neil: I- I put a hand out and just sort of put it on his head, thumb on one dimple, pinkie on the other. And just like, pull back a little bit?
Dax: How gentle are you trying to be?
Neil: Pretty ginger about this.
Dax: Okay. I will say as you’re, I’m not going to make you make a check, then, as you are being relatively gentle. You’re pulling backwards with this head, and the minute you would start to feel resistance where a normal person’s head would get, you know, obviously still be connected. You can’t really just pluck off, you start to hear,
Dax (as Arcterus): Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
Neil: I let go immediately.
Dax (as Arcterus): [angry sigh] Okay, that’s weird. I was not expecting that. I thought you weren’t supposed to feel anything after death.
Wren (as Eight): Are you still feeling pain? That is very strange. Hmm. Interesting.
Wren: GM, I would like to use a utility spell to attempt to extract the rock from around this skeleton.
Dax: Okay…
Wren: Basically rendering it to dust.
Dax: Yeah, go ahead. So, because you’re probably trying to be precise about it, I’d say make it Average difficulty so that it’s two purple.
Wren: That’s not bad. Can I take a moment to focus my attention to give myself a Boost?
Dax: Sure.
Wren (as Eight): My friends, since it seems a physical extraction is somehow impossible for this skeleton that somehow feels pain, I will attempt a magical extrapolation.
Wren: I turn and look to the skeleton.
Wren (as Eight): Arcterus, if you feel any discomfort, please do not hesitate to vocalize it.
Dax: The skeleton nods his head and then clamps his jaw shut again, does that various grinding as he’s trying to hold his jaw tight.
[Dice rolling sounds]
Wren: A Success, a Triumph and three Threat.
Dax: Alright, how do you feel about taking three Strain for those Threat? What does this magical extraction look like?
Wren: I turn and look to my two companions, and I flick the wrist. The wooden spoon pops out of my wrist gauntlet, with a slight “boop”. I’m going to grab it and I level the spoon at the skeleton, facing, basically holding the scooping portion directly in its face. I remember the texts that I had in Mother’s study where I visualize the typical human skeletal structure, including an estimate of depths and proportions. And I hold the spoon out as I kind of wave it around the entirety of the body.
The two of you watching would probably see almost an undulating energy? Kind of like when you see heat rising off of desert sands, emanating from the spoon. Kind of surrounding the skeleton as I basically trace all the outlines of the body. And even the rock itself kind of shimmers and ripples with that energy. And after I’ve traced the whole body, kind of gotten a sense of the proportions and the size, I move my hands forward with the spoon and just kind of quickly clench my fist and pull back. With no more than a quick [snaps fingers], snapping sound, the rock kind of splits and then reforms as the skeleton just kind of [clunk noise using tongue] is thrust out from being embedded in the rock.
Dax: So, fun thing about that. As this rock opens up, Arthas and Rou, you are assaulted with the smell of death and decay. This goopy mass of liquidated fat and rot pours out from the crevice and the minute the rock is pushed back together, that pile of this goop is still at the base of the -
oh my god, Kappa, your face. [laughs]
Still at the base of this wall, and the stench is just overwhelming. You can feel it kind of burying into your nostrils. It is so pungent.
[Neil makes a gagging noise]
Dax: The skeleton collapses.
Kappa: I have my eyes closed, my face just scrunched up.
Kappa (as Rou): This is the worst. This is the worst! Eight, I’m unsure if you can smell but be thankful that you cannot.
Dax (as Arcterus): Well, that was um, did it work? I think it worked because I’m looking at your feet.
Wren (as Eight): Is something amiss?
Neil (as Arthas): There is..
[Kappa makes a gagging noise]
Neil (as Arthas): A stench.
Kappa (as Rou): That is an understatement, this is the stench of the century. [gags]
Neil: I take one step backwards.
Dax: Oh it is, it is all throughout the tunnel. There is no escaping this, one step or not. I will say, Rou and Arthas...
Kappa: No!
Dax: Both times you have opened up your mouths to talk -
Kappa: No!
Dax: You now [laughs] can taste it.
Neil: I pull my tabard up from the bottom flap up over my face.
Dax: Yeah, no. No, not helping.
Neil: It’s better than nothing.
Dax: The illusion of helping for you, isn’t it Arthas?
Kappa: I’m going to take out my flint and steel and try and light just fire.
Dax: Give me an Easy Survival check. [laughing]
Dax (as Arcterus): What’s going on? What, is everything all right? Did my body make it out?
[Dice rolling sounds]
Kappa: Success and Advantage.
Dax: Yeah, you’re able to get a spark going. Do you have a torch or are you doing this on a piece of rag, I mean?
Kappa: I do have a torch.
Dax: Alright, yeah. You do, you light this torch. What are you doing with this torch?
Kappa: You know how fire has a smell?
Dax: Yeah. Yeah, that campfire smell.
Kappa: Yeah, I’m going to try and overpower my immediate vicinity with a campfire smell then.
Dax: Okay.
Kappa: Anything, anything to help.
Dax: Yeah, okay. Yeah, sure.
Kappa (as Rou): Arthas, Arthas. It’s helping a little bit.
Dax: It’s still lingering in the background.
Neil: I am keeping my face covered.
Dax: Eight, I, and anybody that happens to look at this pile of goop. It is, picture like very viscous black tar, almost. It’s very thick. It’s just gross.
Wren (as Eight): Apparently, you have left nothing but a stink in your wake.
Dax: You hear,
Dax (as Arcterus): A stink? A stink. Oh, oh dear. Oh, why didn’t I think of that?
Wren (as Eight): My friends, don’t worry.
Wren: And I hold the spoon aloft and I start going in a circle.
Wren (as Eight): If protection from smells is what you require, protection from smells is what you will get.
Wren: And I would like to cast Barrier.
Dax: Yep.
Wren: And I would like to enhance it to do short distance, so that I might protect my companions from the overwhelming stink that is assaulting their olfactory senses. And I believe that would make it a medium-based check, because typically it’s easy. And then adding a range would make it medium.
[Dice rolling sounds]
Wren: I have a Triumph left!
Dax: What does this barrier look like?
Wren: So, essentially, I’m waggling the spoon in the air. And as I do that, the air above us kind of shimmers a little bit with like a violet translucent energy. Which just kind of makes a bubble that surrounds the three of us and the skeleton. It has plenty of air and we can hear and see in and out easily. But it just prevents smells from penetrating. And I’ll say that it’s got a lovely lilac scent to the air about us, as well, to replace the awful dead, decay that was filling your senses.
Dax: So, funny you say replace. This barrier goes up successfully. Rou, you especially get the mix of campfire and lilac. But you notice that that smell still permeates and for Arthas, you, it’s the smell coated with lilac. And now it’s got this gross sickening association with this flower.
Rou, I’m going to say because you don’t have cloth in your face, you’re sitting there going [sniffs] You turn to your shoulder and you realize it’s stuck to your clothing. So even though the barrier’s preventing further particles from coming into, yeah.
Kappa (as Rou): Okay. Okay. That’s not the worst. Thank you, Eight. This will prevent further- this will prevent further saturation. [sighs] Concentrate now, okay.
Dax: The skeleton, Arcterus, flaps his hands a little bit. You watch as one set of, is it phalanges that are the toes? I don’t know. One set, one foot and one set of toes wiggles. But the rest of the body lays still.
Dax (as Arcterus): I wonder if even in this state, my body has atrophied. Is that possible without muscles?
Kappa (as Rou): How are you talking?
Dax (as Arcterus): I told you, my soul hasn’t left my body.
Kappa (as Rou): But your soul can move your jaw?
Dax (as Arcterus): Apparently. [gasps] Ohhhh!
Dax: And all of a sudden you start to see the skeleton open its mouth and close it so that it kind of like chitters. And you can watch as the head moves a little bit along the ground, but it doesn’t get very far because it’s still attached to the spine and the rest of the body. But now it’s moving back and forth.
Kappa (as Rou): Yes, this is worse. This is worse than the head. Just, bringing the head.
Dax (as Arcterus): Sorry.
Dax: Arcterus stops.
Wren: I’m holding the spoon and this is a concentration spell, so I have to hold the spoon and maintain it. I turn and look.
Wren (as Eight): Arcterus, are you able to move? Or will you just sit there in a pile?
[Dax makes a loud straining noise]
Dax: You hear the skeleton try to strain. You watch as the hands flap.
Dax (as Arcterus): [exasperated sigh] I can’t get my legs to move. My arms, either. I’m just kind of -
Dax: You can hear the bones from the fingers clacking against the stone as the hands are moving back and forth.
Wren (as Eight): I’ve never had the good fortune to meet a talking skeleton. However, I did not imagine them to be as helpless as this. Friends, would one of you be willing to drape this useless skeleton over the side of Bessie?
Neil (as Arthas): I’m on it.
Neil: And I do so.
Dax: Alright. I mean, it’s easy enough for you to pick up the skeleton. I will say that everything from below the wrist to that one ankle is coated in this same viscous gross stuff. Because I mean, that, it was in the body. You know, bodies can rot. Okay, alright.
Kappa (as Rou): It’s curious. Do you feel pain? Like, can you feel the heat of this torch?
Kappa: And I’m going to just slowly bring the torch over to an atrophied part. Or atrophy.
Dax: Arcterus stops.
Dax (as Arcterus): No, I don’t feel anything.
Kappa (as Rou): Oh good, okay. So first, before anything else, I’m going to burn all of this off of you.
Dax: Okay. I’ll say that it takes quite a bit of time, but I’m not going to make you make a check for it. Doing so does make the smell ten times worse.
Wren: As we’re walking with this skeleton getting burnt on the side of Bessie, I just ask Arcterus,
Wren (as Eight): So, you can feel pain when your head is being removed from your spine; however, you can’t feel pain in the sense of your bones being subjected to intense heat.
Dax (as Arcterus): Here, come here. Come here.
Dax: You see the hands are waving towards the skeleton head.
Kappa (as Rou): Yeah.
Dax (as Arcterus): Put the torch here.
Dax: And it points to its face. Once the torch gets close to the face, you hear,
Dax (as Arcterus): Ah, ah, ah. Hot, hot! Hot!
Kappa: Oh, I take the torch away, if that wasn’t -
Kappa (as Rou): Okay. So, various parts of you can feel pain.
Dax (as Arcterus): Apparently.
Kappa (as Rou): Well, I’m stumped.
[Dax gives an exasperated sigh as Arcterus]
Kappa (as Rou): So, how do you suggest we remove you from this mortal coil? Or maybe we can just take the top half?
Wren (as Eight): We’re already heading towards Kidohlva, perhaps there is someone there who knows something about this Arcterus.
Dax (as Arcterus): Well, I imagine the headmaster’s still there.
Wren (as Eight): Oh! [claps] Ha! I understand, that is a joke, yes? Because you are only capable of feeling through your head and your head is that which interacts with us. Therefore, headmaster is a type of pun-slash-joke?
Dax: The skeleton stares very blankly and then turns its head to look at Rou.
Kappa: Rou stares very blankly.
Dax (as Arcterus): The headmaster is the head of the University. You know, like the leader? The top person?
Wren (as Eight): Just when I believed I was beginning to understand the concept of humor.
Kappa (as Rou): Perhaps you understood it just a little bit too well.
Dax (as Arcterus): Perhaps.
Wren (as Eight): Well, at any rate. Perhaps when we arrive, someone will be able to direct us to someone who knows something about an Arcterus, who once served on staff at the University.
Dax (as Arcterus): Look, I have an idea. What if, ‘cause I don’t know about you, but I think dragging a skeleton over your donkey might cause problems when you get out of these tunnels. What if we [sighs] what if we detach pieces of my body where the atrophy…
Dax: And at this point the skeleton bone fingers do air quotes.
Dax (as Arcterus): Pieces are? That might be less for you to carry. We wouldn’t be stuck with this stench that you say you are smelling and it wouldn’t get you into trouble. Should we try it?
Kappa (as Rou): Sure. If you’re okay with that?
Dax (as Arcterus): I think so. I think if we can get word to the University about what happened, people can come down here and gather the rest of my bones. If it works.
Kappa: I’m going to start tapping various places.
Kappa (as Rou): Can you feel this? Can you feel this?
Kappa: Looking for the point at which.
Dax (as Arcterus): No, no. Eh eh, ooh, oh yeah. Feel that, feel that.
Dax: So essentially, anything that was exposed out of the rock. Right below the wrist, and the one foot and just above the shoulders.
Kappa: I don’t know how skeletons work. I’m going to try and pop off, like Lego pieces, just below where he can feel.
Dax: Okay. I will say that will work for the head. I don’t know if you’re going to carry the foot or the hands. So, if you want to bring the hands, that’s fine. But those you will actually have to cut the arm bones for. And I can just hear my middle school teacher rolling his eyes at the fact that I can’t remember, I think it’s the radius and the ulna.
Neil: I think we should, you know, keep all the parts in a backpack.
Kappa: Mhmm.
Neil: Just because I feel like it’s rude to just pop his stuff off and leave it. Like, he doesn’t have autonomy because, you know?
Dax: They’re removable bits, so. You three tell me, are you taking just the head? Are you going to take the arms as well? Or the hands as well?
Kappa: He seems to emote with the hands.
Neil: Yeah, exactly.
Kappa: We can reassemble it later.
Dax: Alright. I will say, anybody who is attempting to disassemble the skeleton, just give me, give me a Medicine check. I will make it at Medium difficulty. This is all about seeing where the joints are and kind of just…
[Dice rolling sounds]
Kappa: Two Advantages.
Dax: Okay. Alright. So you didn’t fail. I’ll say that you are able to disassemble the skeleton, but it does take you quite a while.
Kappa: Okay.
Dax: You’re able to put the pieces into one of the large sacks that were attached to Bessie’s back. Where do you put the head? Do you put it in the sack with the rest of the pieces?
Kappa: I’m going to hold it.
Dax: Okay. Oh, alas, poor Yorick. [laughs]
Kappa (as Rou): Look, look, look. Check this out. To be or not to be, that is the question. Eh?
Dax (as Arcterus): What question?
Kappa (as Rou): Arcterus, please. I’m trying to do something.
Wren (as Eight): You’re referencing some sort of…piece of literature? Performance art?
Kappa (as Rou): Whether it is nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. Yes, yes, yes, yes. There this very wonderful author in Baukora and a playwright. Very famous.
Neil (as Arthas): It is not fortune to be set upon by slings or arrows. Your author is confused.
Wren (as Eight): Why would your author, why would an author write about such horrible things?
Kappa (as Rou): I don’t know. It’s very, very entertaining.
Wren (as Eight): What is their name?
Kappa (as Rou): I believe it’s Bill. Bill something.
Wren (as Eight): Hmm, I see. Perhaps the nature of their writing belies their simple sounding name.
Kappa (as Rou): Perhaps. I just know that there’s this really famous scene where someone is holding a skull. Arcterus, thank you for humoring me.
Dax (as Arcterus): Yeah, yeah, sure. Eh. [sigh]
Wren (as Eight): I do not believe Arcterus really had much choice in the matter.
Kappa (as Rou): I suppose you’re right.
Dax (as Arcterus): You know, that does bring up a good point. You know my name, but I don’t know yours.
Wren (as Eight): Well, with utmost respect, you never asked. You simply begged for assistance rather than getting to know those that would help you.
Dax (as Arcterus): Well I got to know the last person that I asked for help, he ended up just taking my stuff. So, I figured I’d go in reverse order this time. So I will ask now. What do you call yourselves?
Neil (as Arthas): Arthas Boston Wapon Dynevy Marston Thurlow Lilford, Champion of Offam, Triumphant of Azarra. But frequently Arthas.
Kappa (as Rou): And that’s just Arthas. All of that, that’s just Arthas. I’m Rou, you can call me Rou.
Wren (as Eight): And I am called Eight. It is a pleasure to excavate you from the wall and return you to that point of origin from whence you originally came.
Dax (as Arcterus): Yes, thank you very much for getting me out of the wall. It’s been very lonely, very boring, being stuck there without anybody to talk to. So, why don’t we talk and you can update me what’s happened over the last hundred years while we travel to Kidohlva? Yes? Yes? Yes, maybe, no, yes?
Kappa (as Rou): Sure.
Wren: I furrow my brows as we’re walking.
Wren (as Eight): I would hate to disappoint you. Though I am well versed in many subjects, I believe myself to be a mere ten years of age or fewer. I doubt that I would be able to share with you a grand history beyond 100 years.
Dax (as Arcterus): You didn’t…you don’t read books? They don’t have history books nowadays?
Kappa (as Rou): I mean, most of my learning comes from Baukora, the western continent. I’m not sure if you’re familiar?
Dax (as Arcterus): Ohhhh, so they must have opened up trade routes?
Kappa (as Rou): Yes.
Dax (as Arcterus): When did that happen?
Kappa (as Rou): Well, not- not- not exactly trade routes, just trade route more like it. Just, just the one.
Dax (as Arcterus): Ohhh, okay.
Kappa (as Rou): Were you around when airships were invented?
Dax (as Arcterus): No… What are those?
Kappa (as Rou): So, you know, you know boats, right? Boats?
Dax (as Arcterus): Mhmm. Yeah.
Kappa (as Rou): The wooden, they float on the water?
Dax (as Arcterus): Yep.
Kappa (as Rou): We have those but for the air now.
Dax (as Arcterus): Oh. It’s a pity I’m dead, I would quite like to see that. Oh boy. Are you going to hold me this entire trip?
Kappa (as Rou): Would you like to be held? Or do you want to go into the backpack?
Dax (as Arcterus): I, hmm, I’m okay with being held if it means I get to talk.
Kappa (as Rou): Sure. I mean, you could talk in the backpack, it would just be very hard to hear you.
Dax (as Arcterus): Yeah, I kinda would rather have conversation. It’s been quite a while since I talked with anybody. And being in the backpack would make it be like I’m talking to myself again.
Kappa (as Rou): Well, how about this, Arcterus: you ask questions, stuff that might be familiar or you know, whatever. And we can maybe fill in some details. Just because I don’t know what you know.
Dax (as Arcterus): That sounds like an excellent plan. And in the meantime, perhaps I can expedite our process by giving you some tips and tricks in the tunnels here. I do remember quite a bit of what I mapped out beyond this point, so perhaps I could help out in exchange for conversation and knowledge. I can.. I can share that.
Kappa (as Rou): Very much appreciated.
Dax (as Arcterus): It will be good to go home.
Dax: And on that note, we will end this session.
Music fades out [52:13]
Dax: Thanks for listening! We hope you’ll join us next time but in the interim, follow us on Twitter @RoadsUncharted.
The “Roads Uncharted” podcast is GMed and produced by Dax who you can find on Twitter @GM_Dax. We use the Genesys RPG System published by Fantasy Flight Games and music licensed by Epidemic Sound.
Arthas, Champion of Offam is played by Neil.
Eight is played by Wren, who also composed the music for our opening theme. Follow them on Twitter @ThornyDryad.
Rou is played by Kappa, and you can follow him on Twitter @TheKappaChris.