Rou and Eight learn they are visiting Azarra during the Rakeshian Festival, a celebration of autumn and the harvest. They decide to partake in some of the festivities while Arthas is preoccupied.
The episode opens with Eight and Rou leaving the arena after the fight between Renny and Arthas. The competition lasted several hours and it is now mid-afternoon. The atmosphere of Azarra is very festival-like - vendors selling fried food, games, friendly competitions, etc. Eight questions a local about what to do, and he suggests they go check out a local crisp vendor. She is an older woman, but they are warned not to call her “granny”.
Rou and Eight go and find the crisp vendor, a dwarf with dark hair and a scarf covering her face to prevent her beard from getting into the crisp. They debate the merits of holding places in line, and whether or not the vat she uses is fueled by magic. Eight is disappointed to learn that the baking is not magic-based, and the dwarf comments magic users are lazy.
They grab some crisp, including two that they save for Arthas, and then they head to the docks where the airships are. While they sit at the docks, Thomas and his lackeys show up. They tell Rou he needs to be out of the city in two days because he is not welcome. Rou and Eight, wanting to regain their previous happy moods, head off to find the pie-eating competition.
Follow Dax @GM_Dax, Kappa @TheKappaChris and Wren @ThornyDryad
Transcript by Wren
Upbeat piano intro music ends [00:28]
Pensive piano music begins [00:29]
Kappa (as Rou): Hello and welcome to the latest installment of Roads Uncharted, Season 2. I am Rou and I'm here traveling in Azarra. In fact, last night was my first night here. Azarra is quite a weird place. I'm used to very, very much larger structures for buildings, but that's besides the point. I found myself at the Hedgehog Inn where I met a lovely stranger, had dinner that was rudely interrupted by a pair of travelers, much like myself. A Warforged named Eight and a Goliath named Arthas. A curious bunch, but we made very fast friends, bonded over our love of travel and knowledge.
In the morning we had breakfast. Now, let me tell you. If you've never seen a Warforged eat, please don't. Try to avoid it, it is very odd and off-putting. Arthas, in the morning, decided to join a fighting competition, an arena of sorts. I've never seen so many people in one place. But the fighting part, fighting for entertainment, that is quite novel to me. And so, we continue forward.
Music shifts to relaxing string and flute [1:50]
Dax: Rou and Eight are leaving the arena in Azarra, which is part of what the locals call “The Pier”, which is really just a very large cliff that overhangs the ocean and there are what appears to be relatively permanent vendor stalls and other small, squat buildings. People are rushing about and it has a very festival-like atmosphere. At this point in the day, it’s mid-afternoon, it’s been…the competition itself lasted a few hours and there were quite a number of contestants.
After his fight, Arthas was held back. Most of the fighters are asked to be held back in the arena. You would have been notified of this when the fight ceased, by a representative. Probably one of the gnomes in their little clown make up would have been running around, reaching out to people that are with the fighters. So, Rou and Eight. You have a couple hours to yourself before Arthas is released. As you are leaving the arena, like I said, it's a very festival-like atmosphere. Is there anything that draws your attention or anything that you're interested in accomplishing this evening?
Kappa (as Rou): There are so many people here. The crowd is almost overwhelming, but there is a bit of excitement. Everyone seems to be in such good spirits. This happens regularly in Azarra?
Wren (as Eight): As far as I am aware, yes. This is my first time here and this is the first time I have experienced this type of activity, so, I would be led to believe that it is always like this, here in Azarra. Although, I suppose...
Wren: I will turn to the nearest person and tap them on the shoulder.
Dax: Sure, the nearest person to you is a half-elven humanoid. He turns to face you.
Dax (as the half-elf): [slightly lower, masc voice] Yes?
Wren (as Eight): Hello, I am Eight and this is my best friend, Rou. We are visitors here and I would like to verify, is it always this festive in Azarra?
Kappa (as Rou): Wouldn't that get tiring?
Dax (as the half-elf): Uh, no it’s the Rakeshian Festival…it’s harvest time.
Wren (as Eight): [muttering] Rakeshian Festival…
Dax (as the half-elf): Have you not heard of the Rakeshian Festival?
Kappa (as Rou): No, no.
Wren (as Eight): I have not!
Dax (as the half-elf): Oh…
Kappa (as Rou): How often does that come around?
Dax: The half-elf squints his eyes at you a little bit like he's trying to figure out how serious you are in asking that question.
Dax (as half-elf): Just once a year…when Autumn comes. Uh, well...
Dax: He scratches the back of his head.
Dax (as half-elf): If you have never been here before, I encourage you to take part in any of the foods. We have a lot of locals that compete in pie competitions and other things. Most of the stuff you can only get while the festival is going on. There…ooh! You know what? If you haven't ever had it, there is a little old woman that usually likes to set up shop, actually not too far from here, on the other side of the arena. And she makes this amazing, what does she call it? It's got apples and pastry...crisp! She makes this amazing crisp and she makes a huge vat of it, but it's first come first serve. In fact...
Dax: He pulls aside the hem of his shirt and you can see there is this little wrist sun-dial thing on it.
Dax (as half-elf): Actually, she might be opening up her stall in the next half hour. So, if that's something that interests you, I highly recommend because once it's gone, it's gone.
Kappa: As this person is divulging and talking, Rou's face is getting more and more excited at the prospect of trying new foods, recalling the first time he had something that was regional. All of this is very, very much interesting to Rou.
Wren: Similarly, the whole time this man is talking and trying to see if we're being serious or not, my face is as ridiculously happy and beaming as anyone's can be. Like, arched eyebrows, squints at the bottom of the lenses and the most slack-jawed, happy smile on my face as I'm staring at him. If you didn't know any better, you might even think it's sarcastic. But it's not. I am enthralled.
Wren (as Eight): Crisp! I have never heard of crisp before! Best friend Rou, should we go and get some of granny's crisp?
Kappa (as Rou): Absolutely! Can you please point us in the direction of granny's crisp?
Dax (as half-elf): Uh, yeah.
Dax: He points just behind you.
Dax (as half-elf): If you follow the arena that way, you'll be sure to run into it. But don’t…I wouldn't call her granny. She…you'll understand. Just don't call her granny.
Kappa (as Rou): Okay. Thank you, so much. Have a good. R-r-rakeshee festival.
Wren (as Eight): I believe it was Rakeshian Festival.
Kappa (as Rou): Rakeshian Festival.
Wren (as Eight): Perfect! Thank you!
Dax (as half-elf): You're very welcome.
Kappa (as Rou): Eight, we should go. We do not want to miss this.
Wren (as Eight): We need to be the first to come so we may be the first to serve.
Wren: And I'll bustle off, feet clomping in the street. Clomp clomp clomp.
Dax: As you follow the arena in the direction that the half-elf pointed, you do start to smell the very familiar scent of baking apples and hot pastry and cinnamon and cloves. And you can smell it very thickly on the air the closer you get to the stall. And, when you arrive, you can see that there is a kind of squat, older woman with a huge, wooden, I guess you can call it a spoon. Stirring into this enormous vat. It is probably a good three feet in diameter and you can see everything bubbling and churning. There is already a line at her stall. Probably twenty people? So it's not terribly long, but there is already a line.
Wren: Seeing the line, I stop short and turn and look at Rou.
Wren (as Eight): Oh no! It appears we are not the first to come!
Kappa (as Rou): Yes. However, that is a fairly big vat. We should try and get in line and hopefully she'll have enough at least for twenty-two people.
Wren (as Eight): Fair point. You keep a level head in stressful situations. I like that!
Kappa (as Rou): I try to. Now, if there's anything within eye shot that catches your eye, Eight, you tell me and I will save our place in line.
Wren (as Eight): Is that allowed?
Kappa (as Rou): I don't know, but I'm willing to try it.
Wren: As we're walking towards the line, I'm just kind of looking around.
Wren (as Eight): Do you think...do you think these other twenty people are saving spots in line for other folks? Do you think she has enough for forty people?
Kappa (as Rou): Hmm. I'm willing to chance it.
Wren (as Eight): But what if each of these people is saving spaces for two people? Then that could be sixty!
Kappa (as Rou): I did not think about that.
Wren (as Eight): Oh, ahh..
Wren: As we're walking down the line, I'll just be like...
Wren (as Eight): Excuse me! Excuse me!
Wren: And wave to the people in the line,
Wren (as Eight): Are you holding spaces for anyone?
Dax: All you get are some very weird looks. One or two people actually shake their head no but most people give you that look of ‘Are you kidding me?’ Very affronted that you would ask such a question.
Wren (as Eight): There's no need to be upset! I'm just asking to verify. I would like to plan whether or not I can enjoy some of this woman's crisp.
Kappa (as Rou): We've heard so many good things about it. We're just excited, and worried, that maybe we might not - we've traveled far and wide for this crisp.
Wren (as Eight): Actually, now that I think about it.
Wren: And I look at the cauldron.
Wren (as Eight): It would take an awful lot of heat to thoroughly cook a cauldron that large. I hope the bottoms aren't burned!
Kappa (as Rou): Do you think there is magic involved?
Kappa: I lean in, to sort of keep things between us, not announcing to the crowd that I don't know what magic is.
Kappa (as Rou): [a little quieter] Do you think there is magic involved?
Wren (as Eight): Now that is an excellent question.
Wren: And I will just kind of lean over so that I can look down the line towards the cauldron. Can I see the base of the pot? Or any of what's going on in the stall?
Dax: You've been walking down the line, so at this point, you can just barely see the woman over the countertop of the stall. You can’t see anything else. Picture a square, wooden box with a big sign above that says “Crisp, two silver a cup”, and then within that box is this woman stirring the vat. Beyond that you can't really see.
Wren (as Eight): I suppose once we get our crisp, we can have a closer inspection of the set-up.
Kappa (as Rou): Is there such a thing as cooking and baking magic?
Wren (as Eight): If there is, I certainly would like to learn it!
Kappa (as Rou): That would be a very useful tool.
Wren (as Eight): Oh, I know how to make food with magic, though! Watch this!
Wren: I'll hold my hand out in line as I flick my wrist, my spoon pops out and I catch it with the other hand. I take the wooden end and do a little circle around my gauntleted palm. So, I've got the three fingers kind of [makes a splat noise] splayed out. And as I'm doing this, I'm looking directly at Rou, like, square in the face. And after a couple rotations, I tap and I'd like to cast a utility spell just to make a little glob of food paste that I'm so well known for.
Dax: Your gray -
Wren: Nutritious –
Wren and Dax: Nutrient paste?
Wren: Yes.
Dax: Yeah, take your two Strain and we'll leave this at the Easy difficulty.
Kappa: The staring is almost unsettling.
Wren: Oh, yes. Absolutely, because it is just the brightest, unblinking smile. There is no breaking eye contact.
Kappa: I don't believe that anything can be more unsettling than watching you try to eat.
[sound of dice rolling]
Wren: You're going to have your fill of that, too. I have a Success and an Advantage.
Dax: Alright, tell me what this looks like, since Rou is seeing this for the first time.
Wren: As I trace the circles and I'm just staring with that smile plastered across my face plate, I tap my palm a couple times and I say...
Wren (as Eight): And…magic food!
Wren: And the tip of the spoon makes this squeezing sound? So it's like when you squeeze a mustard bottle that's almost out. So it just kind of goes [makes a raspberry noise] and a little glob of this jiggling gray paste just kind of forms in my hand. I pull the spoon back and I thrust my hand out towards your face.
Wren (as Eight): Ha! Food!
Kappa (as Rou): Oh, well, there you go.
Wren (as Eight): See? Food made with magic!
Kappa (as Rou): Oh, okay. Um…
Wren (as Eight): Go ahead, try it!
Kappa (as Rou): Right now?
Wren (as Eight): It's quite nutritious and it's not raw. It is just simply cold.
Kappa (as Rou): I'd like to save some room for the crisp, first, if you don't mind.
Wren (as Eight): Oh, of course! I will save this for you for later.
Wren: And I am going to close my hand and shove it into my face. You just see the food go into my mouth and kind of slide down my throat, almost like a baby bird eating. I'm just moving my throat up and down as the paste slides into my darkwood throat.
Kappa (as Rou): I am trying so hard to keep a straight face and not be terrified.
Wren (as Eight): Ah, quite nutritious and dare I say that the texture is getting better with every time I cast it!
Dax: Rou, do me a favor and make me a Perception check and make it at Easy difficulty.
Kappa: Okay, let’s see. [sound of dice rolling] One Success and one Advantage.
Dax: Alright, so while Eight is doing their throat…swallowing…mechanism…thing you can hear people start to mutter around you, one of which is the high-pitched voice of a child going,
Dax (as child): [in a high-pitched voice] But mommy, what is it doing? It looks like a birdy, Mommy!
Dax: What would you like to use your Advantage for?
Kappa: I'd like to identify where this voice came from and sort of smile and wave.
Dax: Sure, I mean, easy enough. I'll say you happen to notice, as you're looking around, that there is a little girl off to your right, maybe about five feet away, tugging on a woman's skirts and pointing at poor Eight.
Kappa (as Rou): Well, they're just showing me a new trick.
Kappa: And the smile is very, very forced.
Dax: Seeing that forced smile, the little girl does that thing that most little kids will do, where they suddenly all of a sudden become very shy when they have noticed that they are being noticed and turns her face away into her mother's skirts before her mother leads her away.
Kappa (as Rou): [laughs] Oh, children, they're always the same.
Wren: After swallowing the rest of the paste down my gullet, I turn and look at you.
Wren (as Eight): Did you [gulping noise] say something?
Kappa (as Rou): Oh no, I was just waving to someone that I thought I recognized.
Wren (as Eight): You thought you recognized someone and you've come from so far away!
Kappa (as Rou): Yeah, I was very surprised myself. It turns out it wasn't them.
Wren (as Eight): Oh, that's unfortunate.
Kappa (as Rou): Well, you know. That's how it goes.
Wren (as Eight): I don't, because I do not know anyone! Well, that's not true, I know you!
Kappa (as Rou): Take that and imagine that we haven't seen each other for a very, very long time. And then you pass a figure that looks somewhat like me. So you'd want to say hi, hello, greeting. 'I haven't seen you in so long, Rou!' But it turns out it’s not me.
Wren (as Eight): That would almost be disappointing. But then, I could make friends with the other person and then I would have two people that look very much like you!
Kappa (as Rou): I guess this is true. Most of the time, the person is probably busy and has their own stuff to deal with and so might not have the time. So please don't feel discouraged if they don't share the same enthusiasm.
Wren (as Eight): I am hardly ever discouraged.
Kappa (as Rou): I'm glad for that.
Dax: I imagine that the next thirty to forty minutes pass in very similar fashion. Before you know it, you hear this very loud call.
Dax (as the vendor): [mock British voice] Stall's open!
Dax: And you notice that those that are in front of you and all the people that have lined up behind you are now immediately almost at attention, waiting to get up to the front. Very quickly, very methodically, within only a few moments you two are next at the vendor's stall. Now that you are much closer, you notice that this squat woman is actually a Dwarf. She has her dark, black hair tied up in a multitude of braids and tied away from her face. You see that she actually is wearing a scarf over her nose and her mouth and when each person, as you notice as you come closer, when each person has walked up to the stall, she lowers the scarf just enough to say, ‘How many?’ and then she puts the scarf back over her head. And you can see that she does that because she does actually have a little bit of facial hair. So it’s just a way to keep hair from getting into her lovely, bubbling crisp.
Kappa (as Rou): Um, how long do these keep?
Dax: As she answers you, she’s still continuing to stir the bubbling pot.
Dax (as the vendor): They'll last maybe a day? But it'll be cold and it's not as good cold.
Kappa (as Rou): I think we should take four.
Wren (as Eight): Can we take four?
Kappa (as Rou): There's going to be some sort of exchange, I believe, but yes.
Dax (as the vendor): Two silver a cup.
Kappa (as Rou): Two silver a cup, okay. Eight, don't worry, I can pay for this.
Wren (as Eight): Oh right, money!
Kappa: And so I pass over eight silver.
Kappa (as Rou): Here's one for you, one for me, and two for our very large friend. When we meet up with him later.
Wren (as Eight): That is an excellent consideration. Oh, almost forgot!
Wren: And I have the cup as I kind of lean over the wooden box towards the dwarf woman.
Wren (as Eight): Excuse me, how do you power your cauldron? Do you use magic?
Dax: She doesn't even stop turning, she just uses her left hand to point at the base of the cauldron and you can see that there is a fire underneath it. The only time she stops is to take the coins that Rou has passed over to her and she scoops out four servings of this crisp into these carved wooden bowls.
Wren (as Eight): I see, so it is a traditional method of cooking. That is most unfortunate. I was hoping you could teach me about magical cooking, but I suppose I'll just have to enjoy this crisp as it is.
Dax: [scoffs] She spits off to the side.
Dax (as the vendor): Magic users, don't know how to do anything simple.
Wren (as Eight): That's not true. Well, I suppose I'm not here to get into philosophical debates with you. But, thank you for the crisp!
Wren: And I turn and look to everyone else behind me in line.
Wren (as Eight): Sorry for being in the way. I'm told I'm good at that.
Wren: And I just kind of sidle off with two cups in my hands.
Kappa (as Rou): Good day and I hope you have very good business.
Kappa: As I'm turning away.
Dax (as the vendor): Don't forget your spoons.
Kappa (as Rou): Spoons, yes. Correct.
Dax: At the edge of the counter there is a box full of these, they're not really spoons, per se, picture more like the spades that you get with gelato, where it looks like a spoon but it's flat instead of curved.
Kappa: Mhmm.
Wren: Like a teeny little paddle?
Dax: Yeah, little bigger than that but, yeah.
Wren: I have a spoon in my utility belts, so I just grab my regular spoon.
Wren (as Eight): Oh, Rou! I remembered something I'd like to do!
Wren: And I take one of the cups and just scoop the whole, piping hot crisp and just shove it in my mouth and eat it all at once.
Kappa (as Rou): Careful, you might burn – oh, wait, that's right. Oh my.
Wren: There's steam coming out of my mouth.
Wren (as Eight): I realized that this is my first opportunity to see the ocean since I first landed here on the continent and I would very much like to see it again.
Kappa (as Rou): Well, let's go! I believe I was here the other night, so, I believe it's this way.
Kappa: I will gently blow on the cup, on my crisp, trying to cool it down and not burn myself again.
Dax: At least you learned your lesson the last time, right?
Wren (as Eight): It has an excellent mouth feel!
Kappa (as Rou): It's very similar to something I've had before but is more of a hand-held type situation, baked good, but in a cup. Very pleasant. I can tell you that it's delicious.
Wren (as Eight): What is it called?
Kappa (as Rou): I believe it's called a..some sort of turnover? Pop over? Something about turning over. You can put various fruits into it, apples, berries, lemon.
Wren (as Eight): It sounds similar to a danish!
Kappa (as Rou): Sure. What shape is a danish?
Wren (as Eight): When I make them it's just a -
Kappa (as Rou): Gray blob?
Wren (as Eight): No. It is a flat pastry that’s in a circle and then I can place filling in the middle.
Kappa (as Rou): Oh, yes! Very similar. It's a baked good, pastry, filling, but it's a square that you turn over and the shape is a triangle. I believe they are very similar. Then you can sprinkle sugar or cinnamon or what-have-you on top. I think that's why they're called a pop-over or a turn-over.
Wren (as Eight): That would make sense. I will have to learn how to cook this so that I may perfect the recipe for you, so you may feel that you are more at home.
Kappa (as Rou): I’d appreciate that, thank you.
Kappa: This conversation is happening as we are walking. I'm trying to navigate towards the dock.
Dax: Sure, yeah. You are heading back to where the airships are docked, is that what..?
Kappa: Mhmm.
Dax: Okay. There are enough people where you do have to do a little bob and weave but it is not terribly packed. It is a pretty open air space, which does allow enough leeway for you to not feel overwhelmed. You'll probably get back to where the airships are docked, maybe after half an hour's walk. But you get there and see the stone benches and everything that were there yesterday when you arrived.
Wren: And we can see the ocean?
Dax: You can see the ocean, yes.
Wren (as Eight): [gasps] Friend Rou, look! It's the ocean, just like before!
Wren: And I hurriedly traipse away from you towards the cliff edge.
Music shifts to melancholy piano [25:25]
Kappa: I will attempt to keep up, at least to keep you within shouting distance.
Wren: As I kind of get closer to the cliff edge, I stop and look over the expanse of the water.
Wren (as Eight): Look, it's very similar to the ocean I saw on the other side of the continent. Very big and watery. But at least the sun is going the different way across it.
Kappa (as Rou): Yes, as suns tend to do. Eight, why is the ocean so special to you?
Wren (as Eight): Oh, it is not. It is just something I haven’t seen from here.
Kappa (as Rou): Oh, okay.
Wren (as Eight): Well, I mean, it is special because it is teeming with life and there is so much hidden underneath the waves but...
Wren: I kind of turn and lean in.
Wren (as Eight): Confidentially speaking, I am uncomfortable with water.
Kappa (as Rou): Oh, okay. So, but there is still some of that fascination, correct?
Wren (as Eight): Oh, yes. Everything is fascinating. Most particularly, I wanted to see how different it was from one side of Eulela to the other.
Kappa (as Rou): I'm still getting used to how you are constantly in awe of everything around you. I apologize for that, but, I think I understand.
Wren (as Eight): Although, I will say, one of the last times I saw the ocean was at the festival in Saleen. The entire sky had been filled with paper lanterns that were lit with candles. It kind of makes this view pale in comparison, now that I remember it. Very ordinary, but still pretty.
Kappa (as Rou): The paper lanterns, that was also some sort of celebration, correct?
Wren (as Eight): Oh, yes. That celebration...
Wren: And I'm still kind of looking out over the water.
Wren (as Eight): Festival of Aram. It happens once every...I feel like it's every year and it lasts for a whole week! It was, quite frankly, not very different from this. However, I certainly hope that this festival does not meet the same fate that that one did.
Kappa (as Rou): Right, you were telling me about that. I doubt anything like that is going to happen. Everyone seems in such high spirits today.
Wren (as Eight): Everyone was in high spirits for the Festival of Aram, as well.
Kappa (as Rou): Fair, fair.
Wren (as Eight): I will just have to keep my eyes open for anything suspect.
Kappa (as Rou): Hey, you have experience now in that and so you might have, at least, some sort of edge to know what to look out for!
Wren (as Eight): Oh, that’s true! Out of everyone here, I am the only person who experienced that event. I am like a detective, like from the stories! Perhaps I should start looking for clues!
Kappa (as Rou): Maybe we don't actively look. But if you notice something, you might have a head start on alerting the appropriate authorities or reacting quicker so you're not caught off guard.
Wren (as Eight): Well, yes. If I don't notice anything I cannot react. But at the same time, if I am not actively searching, how can I notice anything?
Kappa (as Rou): Think about it like this, if people see you searching and asking questions, they're going to wonder why you're searching and asking questions. And then they will have it in their mind that something might go wrong, when in actuality, there's nothing else to make them believe that.
Wren (as Eight): So, by virtue of questioning if everything is okay, I run the risk of making things actually happen in a negative manner?
Kappa (as Rou): Perceived, yes. Maybe not in actuality, but to one's reality. Someone who is asking questions and looking for things might have a reason to do so and in their head they start to panic.
Wren (as Eight): And that would affect people who do not keep a level head in stressful situations.
Kappa (as Rou): Precisely.
Wren (as Eight): Which you are excellent at.
Kappa (as Rou): I try my best.
Wren (as Eight): You were very cool and collected with respect to the length of the line at granny's crisp stand.
Kappa (as Rou): That was quite a manageable situation.
Wren (as Eight): Manageable, yet stressful.
Kappa (as Rou): Yet, just the tiniest bit of stress, yes. It takes a lot of practice to manage the way you react in certain situations, stressful situations. With more and more practice, I believe you will be better at it than I am.
Wren (as Eight): I appreciate your faith in my skill.
Kappa (as Rou): I was going to ask why Eight is averse to water.
Wren (as Eight): Well, if you must know, best friend Rou...
Wren: And I lean back in.
Wren (as Eight): Between us as friends, I am not a very skilled swimmer. In fact, mother told me that I would sink like a stone if I ever were to fall into a large body of water.
Kappa: Nodding my head in understanding and an idea comes across my face.
Kappa (as Rou): That is fair. Though, Eight, do you require air? Do you need to breathe?
Wren (as Eight): I quite enjoy breathing. [exaggerated breathing sounds]
Kappa (as Rou): But you don't necessarily need it?
Wren (as Eight): I suppose not. [continues exaggerated breathing]
Kappa (as Rou): And is there anything that, when doused with water, will cause you harm?
Wren (as Eight): I suppose not. I have sat out in the rain all night before. [takes a last exaggerated breath]
Kappa (as Rou): Maybe you might sink like a stone, but given those two things you have just told me, maybe you don't need to swim? Maybe you can walk along the floor of whatever body of water you find yourself in?
Wren (as Eight): Like a crab?
Kappa (as Rou): I was going to say more like a lobster, but yes, like a crab.
Wren (as Eight): I suppose I would be willing to test this hypothesis; however, I would prefer to start with something less...
Wren: And I turn and look back to the ocean.
Wren (as Eight): Immense?
Kappa (as Rou): It is quite intimidating, isn't it?
Wren (as Eight): I would hate to fall down a sheer cliff face underwater.
Kappa: Nodding my head in very much the same fashion.
Kappa (as Rou): Let's try to find you a pond, maybe a lake. Not now, but when the opportunity presents itself.
Wren (as Eight): I'm sure at some point we will pass a standing body of water that would be sufficient for these purposes.
Kappa (as Rou): Maybe a very tall bath tub?
Wren (as Eight): Oh, yes! That's true. There are bath houses, as well.
Wren: I take my finger for a quick moment and place it against my chin.
Wren (as Eight): New friend Rou, I just had the most interesting thought. Do you recall when the kindly man showed us to granny's crisp shack, he had also mentioned 'pie eating events'?
Kappa (as Rou): Yes, I recall. What are you thinking, Eight?
Wren (as Eight): If the pies are nearly as good as this crisp, perhaps we should consider entering into a food-eating contest.
Kappa (as Rou): The idea does intrigue me and these things usually, I mean, with the fighting competition, I imagine there is a prize for that. Who's to say that there is no prize for a pie-eating competition?
Wren (as Eight): I wonder if the fact that I do not need to eat would disqualify me?
Kappa (as Rou): If it does, maybe we find out after the competition.
Wren (as Eight): That's true, I could eat first and then – ah! That's a little sneaky!
Kappa (as Rou): I am known once in a while to bend the truth.
Wren (as Eight): That sounds like something Seven would come up with.
Dax: At that, you do hear a voice from behind you.
Music shifts to a tense melody [34:17]
Dax (as the stranger): [slightly lower voice] Most people like you, that doesn't surprise me.
Kappa: I turn around with a very confused face.
Kappa (as Rou): Were you referring to me or my friend here?
Dax: There are three people that are standing there, all male. All wearing relatively, not really tailored, but not exactly loose-fitting clothing. Appropriately sized, let's just say. All of them are very average looking. The one that stands just in front of the other two kind of smirks at you for that, Rou.
Dax (as the stranger): Who else would I be addressing?
Dax: And he stares straight at you.
Kappa: I'm going to just hold the stare for just a second longer than is appropriate. Without breaking it...
Kappa (as Rou): Come on, Eight, I believe there is a pie-eating competition that we need to attend.
Dax: Eight, did you turn around as well?
Wren: I would have turned around at the same time.
Dax: You notice these three individuals. You know who they are.
Wren: Are these the ones that harassed us on the way in?
Dax: Mhmm.
Wren: I will smile and wave.
Wren (as Eight): Hello again, gentlemen! It’s a pleasure to see you!
Kappa: The stare is broken by a raised eyebrow at the confusion that Eight knows these individuals.
Wren (as Eight): We are enjoying the view of the ocean. Did you also come here to enjoy the water?
Dax (as the stranger): Not quite. But I suppose you could say that we smelled something [sniffs loudly] fishy.
Wren: I stare blankly for a moment and then after a couple awkward, quiet seconds...
Wren (as Eight): Hah! I got that one. That was, I believe, you call that a pun, correct? Because there are fish in the ocean, therefore smelling something fishy is implied that you smelled fish from the ocean, yes?
Dax (as the stranger): Found yourself a bodyguard, eh?
Kappa: Who is that referencing?
Dax: Referencing you, Rou.
Kappa (as Rou): Bodyguard? Who are you?
Dax (as Thomas): My name is Thomas. And I don't think that there's more than that that you need to know. Although I do want to know how long do you intend on being in Azarra.
Kappa: If my mood wasn't shifted before, it definitely is now. Very, very on edge, very tense, ready to act. Ready to move.
Kappa (as Rou): As long as I need to be. Who's asking? I know your name is Thomas, but I don't know you and you seem to know who I am. This is my friend, Eight. You don't want to see them eat.
Wren (as Eight): Best friend, Eight.
Kappa (as Rou): Best friend, Eight.
Dax (as Thomas): Like I said, you don't really need to know who we are. All you need to know is that you are not welcome here. The sooner you get out of the city, the better for you. No bodyguard, robotic or not, will protect you if you stay.
Wren: I lean in behind Rou.
Wren (as Eight): Would you like to know who sent them to harass you? I believe this is considered harassment, yes?
Kappa (as Rou): Not yet, but it's close.
Wren (as Eight): I see, but would you like them to tell you?
Kappa (as Rou): [quietly, to Eight] I think I'm better off not knowing, for sure. [a little louder] I don't know how long we'll be here. But it's clear that, at least I, am not welcome and I'm not interested in staying where I'm not welcome. If that is a clear enough timeline for you, carry on. If not, there are other ways to settle this.
Dax: Thomas and the two men behind him start looking at each other and chuckling a little bit.
Dax (as Thomas): Please, all by yourself? You have two days to get out of my city.
Dax: And with that, Thomas and his companions walk away.
Kappa: Given a few seconds, no more than five seconds, the tenseness and the alertness sort of collapse, not collapse, but deflate a little bit.
Kappa (as Rou): [breathes in sharply] I don't know who those people are, Eight, but they..they mean business. Thank you for being here for support.
Wren (as Eight): I just happened to be here with you when they arrived, but I am glad I could provide some reassurance. They do not seem very polite.
Kappa (as Rou): No, no. Though I will admit I understand why. It's hard to explain. Let's go find some pies. We were in such a good mood before. I'd like to return to that.
Wren (as Eight): Of course, lead the way, best friend, Rou.
Kappa (as Rou): Okay.
Kappa: I will turn to where most of the crowd is and ask if there is any sort of food competitions around. We've heard that there was a pie-eating competition. If it's not too late we'd like to sign up.
Dax: That will be where we end this episode and when we rejoin our companions in the next episode, we will find out how that pie competition goes, or even if it does.
Music fades out [40:13]
Dax: Thanks for listening! We hope you’ll join us next time but in the interim, follow us on Twitter @RoadsUncharted.
The “Roads Uncharted” podcast is GMed and produced by Dax, who you can find on Twitter @GM_Dax. We use the Genesys RPG system published by Fantasy Flight Games, and music licensed by Epidemic Sound.
Arthas, Champion of Offam, is played by Neil.
Eight is played by Wren, who also composed the music for our opening theme. Follow them on Twitter @ThornyDryad.
Rou is played by Kappa, and you can follow him on Twitter @TheKappaChris.