The game is afoot! The group teams up with a peculiar detective to investigate the mystery of the killer pie.
Arthas rejoins Eight and Rou, who are saddened by the news of Jane’s passing. The group meets Inspector Francis Broussard, a Tiefling that works with the town guard, who tells them he is investigating her murder. The Inspector agrees to allow the party to assist him, so long as they understand they’re still technically suspects, and begins to collect evidence.
Eight creates a pipe to mimic Francis and introduces another persona, known as Inspector Nine. Enjoying their enthusiasm, Inspector Broussard then suggests they go to a local tobacconist to get pipes if they feel it will help with the investigation. When they return to the platform where the competition was held, they begin their investigation in earnest. Rou is able to help reconstruct the scene while Francis examines the residue remaining in the pie tin.
Francis is able to discover the type of poison that was used and shares with the group that it would have to be someone who was an assassin or have access to one. Arthas finds a vial on the ground, nearly hidden by the platform, and Eight tests it and confirms that the poison was in the vial.
Follow Dax @GM_Dax, Kappa @TheKappaChris, Wren @ThornyDryad and Josh @JoshuaMSimons
Transcript by CJ Kallevig
Upbeat piano intro ends [00:28]
Melancholy piano music fades in [00:29]
Wren (as Eight): Hello, I am Eight, and you are listening to Roads Uncharted. Previously, during our adventures, my new best friend Rou and I attended a pie-eating competition. The rules were quite simple: eat as much pie as possible within an hour, without getting sick, without leaving the table, and without, uh, well it’s less savory for me to say it, so I will skip it. While we were preparing to attend the event, we met with the previous years’ champion, a woman named Jane. She was quite determined to be the victor. I, however, was convinced I would win. Simply by virtue of the fact that well, I do not need to consume to live so I have the upper hand in not really having a limit on the amount I can eat. In the end, I was victorious, but it had turned out that Jane was poisoned during the event and consequently, she passed away. Rou and I took this quite hard, and while I know it is not our fault, I cannot help but feel like we should have been able to do something. Now, the two of us stand outside the medical tent with renewed purpose. We are going to track down who poisoned Jane, and determine why, and bring them to justice.
Piano music fades out [2:00]
Music shifts to tense strings [2:13]
Dax: Francis, you are standing in the guard station. A medical worker has just arrived and is telling you and your fellow guardsmen/detectives that Jane Freewell, who was the reigning champion of the Annual Azarra Pie-Eating Contest, has just been poisoned and her body now lies in state in the medical tent near the platform. What are you doing while this medical worker is relaying this information?
Josh: Well I imagine I’m probably relaxing, having a nice cup of tea. As one is likely to do. So I’m probably sitting there, I imagine it’s got jasmine in it. And as I am enjoying it, hearing this report, I, obviously I know I have to do something about this. It’s critical that we capture anyone who would dare commit murder in this city – my city. So I will finish my tea, place the cup down, and as this reporter’s finished, I will stand. Place my hand on this medical worker’s shoulder and say,
Josh (as Francis): [gruff, slightly garbled voice] Thank you! Thank you, I appreciate your report. You have done well. I will see to it from here. If there is anything else that you require from me, please have it delivered directly to the scene of the crime where I will be, of course, investigating.
Dax (as the medical worker): [British accent, slightly deeper] Probably before you go, you should know that there was a Warforged and a darker-skinned man. They dropped off her trophy, but from what I gather, she wasn’t the winner. I don’t really know what was going on with that. But, they, they might be people of interest that you might want to talk to.
Josh (as Francis): Very good! Thank you.
Josh: And question to you, GM. How common are Warforged in this particular part of the world?
Dax: So, Warforged have not really been seen in common use since the war over 400 years ago. They originally were built as tools to be weapons. To see one walking around is a little strange. Most of them that do walk around tend to be servants though, nowadays. Giant-Kin, which is what Arthas is, have not been seen in probably 100 years. Maybe more. Just fair warning.
Josh (as Francis): Peculiar. Interesting. Definitely worth pursuing, thank you. And now please, point me in the direction of this crime scene, so I may go and investigate.
Dax: The guard looks back and forth - er the medical worker looks back and forth at the guards.
Dax (as the medical worker): It’s the platform where the pie-eating contest happens every year. It’s nearby… the…just follow me.
Dax: He rolls his eyes and heads out the door.
Josh: You can see there is a grin on the inspector’s face as this happens and see his give a little chuckle to himself.
Josh (as Francis): [chuckles] Perfect!
Music shifts to Nordic flute [5:19]
Dax: Arthas, you have been officially released from the arena. Your wounds have been healed. It’s pretty easy for you to fall, to meander throughout the crowd and eventually spot Eight and Rou standing together. And I believe Rou is still holding two bowls of crisp. So Rou and Eight, you do see Arthas very obviously above the crowd heading your way.
Wren: Seeing Arthas towering over all of the crowd, I turn to Rou.
Wren (as Eight): Rou, look! It’s our friend, Arthas. He’s returned… and he looks not bad for being in a whole bunch of fights.
Kappa (as Rou): Oh yes, finally. I don’t want to be holding these all day.
Kappa: And Rou will go ahead and start approaching Arthas, with bowls extended out in front of him.
Kappa (as Rou): Arthas! We procured for you some apple crisp, I believe. I’m sorry if it’s a little cold, not fresh, but given how long the line was I believe we were lucky to just to be able to have even this. So, we wanted to get in a little bit early and here you go. I do regret to inform you though that things might have gone awry here at the festival. But please, enjoy, enjoy. And we’ll –
Neil (as Arthas): Awry with the food?
Kappa (as Rou): Not the crisp.
Neil (as Arthas): Fantastic.
Neil: I pick up both and dust them.
Wren (as Eight): Those were entire servings. I don’t know why that always surprises me that Arthas consumes so much so quickly.
Kappa (as Rou): I mean, it makes sense.
Kappa: Now if Arthas is done with his bowls of ce – heh, cereal - crisp, I’d like to relay the awful news that someone died at the pie-eating contest.
Neil (as Arthas): Was it too much pie?
Kappa (as Rou): No, I don’t believe so. The, see it’s the reigning champion, I believe she would have been able to pack away much more. We believe someone was poisoned, at least that’s what the medical, sort of healer’s tent, gave away. Eight was also influential in discerning that. I did not know this, I don’t know if you knew this, but Eight can detect poisons.
Neil (as Arthas): Yes, I’ve had a clue with that.
Wren (as Eight): I have offered multiple times to taste test food for Arthas. However, he tends to consume much faster than I am able to actually fully test that which he is eating.
Neil (as Arthas): Besides I have yet to meet a poison that can fell me. Evidenced by standing here.
Kappa (as Rou): For some reason, that does not surprise me. Now, we’re on the way back towards the platform, where the contest was. You see, we have a name that we have some theories. We believe someone either had poisoned the pies beforehand or poisoned the pies as they were being brought out in an effort to either target someone else. Eight believes someone is targeting me. No idea why…I have some idea why. We did run into some unpleasant fellows beforehand, but it was just a simple misunderstanding I believe. I don’t think they would be trying to kill us.
Neil (as Arthas): How unpleasant? And what kind of misunderstanding?
Kappa (as Rou): I don’t quite know why they were so hostile towards me. But they did approach and for some reason, either didn’t like my face, didn’t appreciate, I mean, I am obviously some sort of outsider here in this town.
Kappa: Looking and pointing at my armor, my garb.
Kappa (as Rou): It’s very not, not of this area.
Neil (as Arthas): Well, you’re in good company.
Kappa (as Rou): I appreciate that. Xenophobia is not new to me, but it still stings every time.
Neil (as Arthas): Hmm..
Wren (as Eight): Arthas, they were the same men that accosted us on our way into the city. I think perhaps they just have a bone to pick with anyone from outside of their particular social circle. That said, the faster we make haste back to Reginald, we can get the list and begin our investigation.
Kappa (as Rou): I also believe that there’s the pie-maker, Mr. Saison, I believe? Eight, if you would confirm this? Yes. Okay, so Eight is nodding. Mr. Saison, I would very much like to talk to this person. See who, if it was not them who had done it, then who they passed the pies onto so we can get at least a track of who had access to the pies that killed the sweet, sweet girl.
Wren (as Eight): Come, friends. We must leave with haste.
Wren: I start plotzing my way down the road.
Neil: I follow along and hope that Eight knows where they’re going.
Kappa (as Rou): Lead the way.
Dax: Perfect. So you make your way back to the platform, where Reginald is. Standing there, talking to Reginald, is the medical worker that you met at the tent and someone else. Francis, why don’t you go ahead and describe yourself?
Music shifts to tense strings [10:55]
Josh: Yes of course. You see standing there before you a Tiefling, of a lavender type of hue. You can see by my apparel that I am a) well-to-do, and b) in the employ of the town constabulary. I think that’s the word people use in this society, I’m not positive. But I am clearly of some type of association with the guard. You can see that I wear a very fine cloak, that I wear over what is fairly standard formal apparel. The equivalent, I would say of a three-piece suit. I have in one hand a rather long pipe, approximately twelve inches in length, of which I am puffing from in a contemplative manner. Browse the area and of course, interviewing this individual that I am speaking with. As you can see, I am deep in thought but spot you. Most likely as you approach, being of a unique appearance in these parts. You would notice, I believe, that I have, well mostly eastern style designed apparel. I have a vest on my person that does have much more western design.
Wren (as Eight): Look, friend Rou. Friend Arthas. Reginald is currently speaking with a medical examiner and someone who appears to be very sick. Come, we should probably interrupt. Only because we are in a very urgent situation.
Neil: Pardon Dax, question. How many Tieflings have I seen?
Dax: You have not seen any just yet. Eight has seen one. And Rou, I don’t think has seen any either.
Neil: I’m going to let Eight take the lead on this, as I am… not spooked, but the horns are giving me a weird vibe.
Kappa: Rou will sort of lean over to Eight and,
Kappa (as Rou): What makes you think the, they’re definitely odd but I’ve come to accept that things are very different here in the East.
Wren: I lean in towards Rou, mimicking.
Wren (as Eight): Well, they’re purple, which is nearly the same color that the reigning champion had turned before passing away. I assume that this person also consumed the pie and perhaps they are trying to figure out what to do before it’s too late. I don’t know. But the color is very suspicious.
Kappa (as Rou): So this is, this is a not a common occurrence? A purple-skinned, horned individual?
Wren (as Eight): Ahhh, wait. Well, I have seen an individual with horns before. So, I don’t suppose it’s common, but I would not necessarily be alarmed. After all, you were taken aback by us when you first saw Arthas and myself. And we turned out to be your new best friends!
Kappa (as Rou): This is true. You know…
Kappa: Rou is now noticing the western style vest that he has on and will sort of cock his head to one side and,
Kappa (as Rou): Eight, Arthas. Do you mind if I approach and open up a conversation? If we are wishing to interrupt? There is something about this person that I might be able to connect with.
Neil (as Arthas): By all means.
Wren (as Eight): Please. After you.
Kappa: With a nod, Rou will do that thing where he walks over and stands just a little bit outside, trying to grab the attention of anyone involved in the conversation. Possibly within eyesight of this lavender Tiefling.
Dax: As you approach, you hear Reginald.
Dax (as Reginald): [high-pitched, nasally voice] Well you see, Jane was given the raspberry supreme pie and started eating and then just sort of fell over. The medical workers took her to the tent, and now I’m being told that she died.
Josh (as Francis): Yes, that is what they are indicating to me as well. I have three questions for you and then I must interrupt you because I have a rather important conversation that I must take part in here quickly. But! I will ask you the questions and you will give me answers afterwards. First, do we still have the pie tin and the remains of the pie? Second, where could I find the individuals involved with preparing and bringing this pie to, of course, interview them? And third, do you by chance have any cheese? Thank you. And when you have those answers for me, I’ll be prepared.
Josh: And I will turn and look at this individual with a clearly western style of dress, standing just there, and I will say,
Josh (as Francis): Pardon me! You seem to be attempting to gain my attention, you have it. What may I do for you?
Kappa (as Rou): Ah yes, hello. I am, oh I’m so sorry. Introductions, introductions, yes. Hello. My name is Rou, and I am here with my friends Eight and Arthas. From the conversation, you are invested in this investigation. I believe we might be of use or help in… we want to help. I hope you understand. I noticed the vest and thought maybe there was some sort of…I was hoping to use that as an opener but…
Wren: I flag Arthas down and try and get him to lean down towards me.
Neil: I do so.
Wren: And I’ve moved like just beyond on the periphery of where Rou is talking to this inspector.
Wren (as Eight): Arthas, Rou is very good at introducing themselves to people. Do you suppose we could learn something from him?
Neil (as Arthas): I certainly hope so.
Josh: At this, I will extend a hand and you can see as my hand reaches out towards you, it’s almost like my arm unfurls and my hand, somewhat delicately, is placed in perfect handshaking range. And as I do, I will introduce myself.
Josh (as Francis): Ah yes, my name is Inspector, Inspector Francis Broussard. Sorry, Inspector is the title, I apologize for the miscommunication. Ah yes, we may have something in common. I must say I do particularly love your attire, it reminds me of home. I have many questions, including what brings you and your companions to these parts. It is a bit of an unusual sight to see this assembly of individuals here. But of course, yes, I am an Inspector here with the guard of the city. I think that’s the word that people use, guard. Of course. Assigned to the case to solve the murder, and if you believe that you may be helpful, then perhaps I will take you up on that.
Kappa: Shaking Inspector Broussard’s hand quite nervously.
Kappa (as Rou): Yes, home. Home. I might be able to, we might be able to provide some answers to the questions that you had asked. Not the cheese one, I don’t know what that’s about but, well means. But as far as we can tell, Mr. Saison was the one that prepared the pies. Eight and I participated in the competition. Eight was the only other competitor that had consumed the raspberry pie and was the one that determined it to be poisonous. Now my friend Eight over there,
Kappa: And I’ll motion over to Eight and Arthas who come over.
Kappa (as Rou): Is not affected by poisons. Eight,
Wren: I’m standing awkwardly, just looking at my hand and listening as you’re talking to the Inspector. And I’ve just got the three fingers and they’re just spreading and clapping back together as I’m waiting.
Kappa (as Rou): Eight, Arthas, this is Inspector Francis Broussard. He is conducting an investigation. We might be able to be of use, be able to help set things right. Find justice.
Wren: My eyebrows perk up.
Wren (as Eight): Justice, yes. Hello Inspector Francis.
Wren: And I start walking forward, my one hand now extended towards you in a very clunky manner.
Wren (as Eight): I am Eight and I am the person who won the contest by default because I did not die from poisoning.
Josh (as Francis): Wonderful! It’s an absolute pleasure to meet you.
Josh: I will of course shake that hand.
Josh (as Francis): I must say, it is quite wonderful to see a person of your particular background here. It has been some time, I understand, since anyone of your people have been seen here. I should be very curious to find out what has brought you here. This is perhaps cause for celebration! Wonderful. Very good. I must say, it is curious to me that you are able to, you say, detect the poison but not affected by it. I have questions about how this works, if there is something I could learn from you perhaps. It would improve my own skill. We’ll have to have a conversation about that. Perhaps at a later time. In the meantime, I will accept your offer of help. Although I want the public record to note that you were also competitors in the pie-eating contest, which means you are not absolved of guilt as of yet.
Wren: I look visibly confused and then even more puzzled and then I nod in casual understanding. Then, the realization of the fact that you have basically accused me of being a suspect crosses my mind.
Wren (as Eight): Oh. I suppose that makes sense. It is only logical that you would assume that the people competing might want to kill the previous winner. Especially considering her reputation as a pie consuming enthusiast. However, I must say I was never taught to kill. So, I do not believe that would be something that I would even know how to do.
Josh (as Francis): Well, I think most people are not taught to kill. It is a skill that you acquire along the way. So, you may not have been taught but if you have acquired it, then it is still worth investigating. I myself was never taught to kill, but in terms of peril, I have found that necessity requires it.
Kappa: For the sake of brevity, Rou will then go over the, what transpired up until we had met Inspector Francis Broussard. From entering the pie-eating competition, talking with Jane, the pie competition itself, helping Jane as much as we can, being sent to the medical tent, and then on discovering Jane had passed, giving the trophy then making our way back here.
Josh (as Francis): That is very honorable of you. I appreciate your forthrightness. I will have more questions, I’m certain. In the meantime, you said you might have answers to some of my questions. Do you know where the pie tin is located?
Kappa (as Rou): So, I had assumed that you are looking for the pie tin because you wanted to know what sort of pie, what’s… We don’t have access to the pie tin. What sort of poison, I was hoping that Eight could elucidate that for you.
Josh (as Francis): If you have an exact chemical composition of the poison, that would be perfect.
Wren (as Eight): Oh, well. I did taste some of the pie.
Wren: Is Reginald nearby?
Dax: So, while this conversation is going on, Eight, because of the way you were facing, you would have seen Reginald come up with the pie, a small satchel, and is now just standing awkwardly behind Francis waiting to be addressed.
Wren (as Eight): Ah, look.
Wren: And I’ll indicate, palm towards Reginald directly behind you, Inspector.
Wren (as Eight): It appears Reginald has appeared with pie and a satchel. I believe he has the answers to the question you are seeking. I did however, taste the pie and detected poison. Though I am unsure of its chemical composition, I mostly just can appreciate the intensity of a toxin, as long as I am trying to detect it.
Josh (as Francis): Oh! Very good.
Josh: And I will spin rapidly on my feet, as if a dancer. You see that I turn and land in what is approximately the fourth position that a ballet dancer would use. As I turn and extend my arm, I will take both the pie tin and inquire what the contents of the bag are.
Dax (as Reginald): Well, here’s the pie tin that Jane was eating from. You asked if we had cheese.
Josh (as Francis): What manner of cheese?
Dax (as Reginald): Goat cheese.
Josh (as Francis): I suppose that will suffice. Thank you. I appreciate it.
Josh: I’m going to rifle through a coin purse and take out a small amount of currency, whatever seems appropriate for this, you know, mediocre cheese that I’ve been given and I will give him a couple of coins.
Dax: Okay. Probably just a couple silver.
Josh: I will make it a full gold to show that I appreciate the promptness of the request being met.
Dax (as Reginald): What was the second question?
Josh (as Francis): The second question was who was involved, which I believe I have some of the answers to that.
Dax (as Reginald): Oh, that’s right. You wanted to know, hmmmm…
Dax: Pulls a list out of his pocket and reaches it up to you. This small Gnome reaches up to you with this list and on it, when you open it, you see are a list of bakers and then a separate column that is a list of servers.
Josh (as Francis): Delightful thank you.
Josh: And I will note which names have already been given.
Josh (as Francis): Well then, I do believe that concludes our business for the time being. Thank you for your forthrightness, I will however ask that if we have additional questions, you remain available to answer them. Of course, will then during regular operating hours. I will not visit your abode at the evening unless it is urgent or you are in great peril. In such case, please would you be a dear and just fill out the paperwork that this, uh,
Josh: And I’ll look around for the medical worker, who was with me.
Josh (as Francis): That medical worker, over there. Please provide your name and just home address in case we require any further assistance and you aren’t located here. Thank you very much and I appreciate your time.
Josh: I’ll turn back to these new individuals that I’ve just met and say,
Josh (as Francis): So then! Shall we conduct an investigation?
Kappa: Rou is going to turn over to Eight and Arthas, while that conversation is going and just lean over.
Kappa (as Rou): I never would have thought investigations were so methodical. I mean, it makes sense but the amount of questions and control that this Inspector Broussard has, very impressive.
Kappa: Then as soon as Inspector Broussard turns around, just kind of like, in surprise.
Kappa (as Rou): Yes! Yes, Eight? Arthas? Yes?
Neil (as Arthas): Yes.
Neil: And I just nod trying to figure out why he has horns and why his skin is purple. Is it a job hazard?
Wren: Visibly excited.
Wren (as Eight): Yes! Yes, we will investigate. Just a moment, I must prepare myself.
Wren: And I am going to pop my spoon out of my wrist and I am going to hold it out. DM, I would like to cast a basic spell to create a little magical pipe?
Dax: Sure, why not.
Wren: So that I might have one just like the Inspector.
Dax: Are you doing like an illusion type pipe or an actual pipe?
Wren: I mean, if I could have an actual pipe?
Dax: Yeah! You’d have to cast your spell.
Wren: What difficulty would you like me to, Easy?
Dax: Easy difficulty, yeah.
Wren: I have four Advantage but no Successes.
Dax: So, I’m thinking and tell me if you disagree, that perhaps you don’t really come up with a nice-looking pipe. It’s more of like a blob of clay with a couple holes in it. Not a usable thing, almost looks more like a salt shaker.
Wren: As long as you might look at it and say, hey that’s a good approximation of a pipe. I feel like that’s alright.
Dax: So you would have had to suffer two Strain to cast the spell. What would you like to use, you wanna use two of those Advantage to recover those Strain? [pauses] Alright.
Wren: Sure. As I put the pipe in my mouth and look at the Inspector and Rou. I know Arthas is nearby, so I just say it loudly.
Wren (as Eight): Inspector Nine is on the case.
Music shifts to an uptempo jazz [28:43]
Wren: And I just kind of like gum the tip of the pipe.
Neil (as Arthas): Eight, pipes are bad for your health. And also your name is Eight.
Wren (as Eight): Yes Arthas, thank you. I am putting on what is called a persona.
Neil (as Arthas): Why?
Kappa (as Rou): I apologize if this is offensive to you, Inspector.
Josh (as Francis): Of course not! I find it rather amusing. Yes, I will teach you how to inspect, at least part of it.
Neil (as Arthas): Is the pipe and persona required?
Josh (as Francis): I suppose that depends. Do you feel that it is required for you to maintain the image for yourself?
Neil (as Arthas): I will need to procure a pipe.
Josh (as Francis): Fortunately there is a tobacco store nearby that I absolutely love. I am friends with the proprietor and so it will not be an issue to obtain additional pipes.
Neil (as Arthas): Fantastic.
Dax: I just want to interrupt here, that Roads Uncharted does not condone smoking. [laughs]
Neil: But Arthas does!
Dax: Apparently. [laughs]
Josh: Can we put a surgeon general’s warning on the podcast?
Dax: Right? Yeah. [sighs] Carry on.
Kappa (as Rou): So this is the first investigation that I at least have ever been a part of. Inspector, what do we, what are we doing? We have a list, we had a bunch of questions.
Josh (as Francis): Yes, very good. Well, the first step is of course we have to take stock of what we have to determine what we do not know. And that is where we will begin. Unless of course, you’d like to obtain your pipes now. Is that something you would like to do? We could take a five minute detour. Or we could continue? Alright, perfect!
Josh: Then I will lead this group, taking the pie tin and just delicately balancing it on my hands as a waiter does while walking through a busy restaurant. I will hold this pie tin above my head, doing the rotating wrist as I navigate through the town to get over to the nearest establishment where I, of course, well known as a visitor and connoisseur of fine tobacco. And so, we will go in and I will introduce them to this manager, whomever they may be.
Dax: You mean you don’t know? You know what? Just for that, Josh why don’t you describe what this building looks like and this proprietor that you know oh so well.
Josh: Of course. It is a small, squat building located between two slightly larger buildings. And as we enter, it is of course smoky as there are people actively smoking pipes in the interior. Inside there is one small counter where you can see there is a clerk on duty, not the owner per se, an employee. In the back there are a couple of tables, individuals are kind of spread around them. Smoking, relaxing as one does in a tobacco establishment. As we enter in, I will of course walk over to the desk and place my hand, just one hand on it as the other hand is holding the pie tin. And I will say,
Josh (as Francis): Ah yes, hello my friend. I require, how many? How many…pipes do we require?
Josh: And I’ll kind of look back to the group.
Neil (as Arthas): Absolutely.
Kappa (as Rou): Ahh, I mean, I would appreciate a souvenir pipe. I don’t know how to… I don’t know what this is.
Wren (as Eight): Is something amiss with my pipe? Do I need a better one?
Josh (as Francis): Do you feel that you need a better one, is the question that we must ask. How do you feel?
Wren (as Eight): Well now I feel a little unsure.
Josh (as Francis): Well, how about we purchase one and if you don’t require it, it can always be returned.
Wren (as Eight): Oh yes. I like this thought. Like a rental.
Josh (as Francis): Sure. That is a good comparison.
Josh: And I will turn back around, still holding the pie tin aloft as I say,
Josh (as Francis): We will require three of your pipes, but one of them in particular can be a little more ostentatious. Please put them on my tab and while I’m at it,
Josh: I’ll pull out my sack full of tobacco and request a refill.
Dax: The clerk nods enthusiastically, takes your packet, and goes first and refills it, brings it out to you. Then brings out this large wooden case, sets it very gently on the counter and then lifts the lid. You can see that there are probably seven pipes in front of you, each ranging from very simple carved polished wood, all the way to gold and encrusted jewel.
Neil (as Arthas): So the fancier the pipe, the better the investigation. I will take your finest pipe.
Dax (as the clerk): [mousy, soft voice] Oh! Okay. Um well, um,
Dax: The clerk looks you up and down, Arthas.
Dax (as the clerk): Well, I mean if you want I won’t say no. But, do you have 500 gold on you?
Neil (as Arthas): Inspector Francis, I believe this investigation may have a hard time.
Josh (as Francis): Worry not my friend. The material with which the pipe is made is not that important. It is really about the image in your mind that you have to believe yourself to be capable of solving the case. For me, that is with this rather large..
Josh: It is a, I kind of gesture and indicate, like I described it is a 12-inch church wooden style pipe. Well, some uncertain wood. It’s hard to identify what exactly it is, but it is a darker hue.
Josh (as Francis): Mine is not made of gold, it needs not be. It is simply a functional wooden pipe. But if you would like a fancier pipe, you’re welcome to it.
Wren (as Eight): Oh, Arthas. Perhaps, perhaps you would like a pipe made of stone!
Neil (as Arthas): If such a thing could be arranged.
Dax: The clerk taps their chin just a little bit.
Dax (as the clerk): Hmmm.
Dax: Points a finger up at the ceiling, closes the lid very gently and then reaches down and pulls out a separate wooden box. This one very small. Puts it down on top of that wooden box and then lifts this lid. There is a rough-hewn stone pipe. It appears to be made of some sort of rock that has very nice stripes and you can see the sediment. It’s just ever so lightly polished. It’s very decorative, doesn’t look 100% functional.
Neil (as Arthas): This is perfect.
Dax: The clerk hands that off to you and then looks to Eight.
Wren: I hold out the one that I made.
Wren (as Eight): I have created this pipe. Can you find something that compliments it?
Dax: Again the clerk sits there and taps their chin, looking up and around like they’re thinking.
Dax (as the clerk): Mmm, mmm.
Dax: Puts both boxes back underneath the countertop, walks about ten feet off to the left and starts rummaging through a drawer. Comes back out with a very simple leather satchel.
Dax (as the clerk): To keep your tobacco in.
Wren (as Eight): Oh, thank you. Then this pipe is perfect.
Wren: And I’ll mock blowing in it.
Kappa: Rou is, throughout this whole time, Rou has been stifling a sneeze and sort of rubbing his nose. Will choose one of the more basic looking ones.
Kappa (as Rou): I, sure, this one.
Kappa: Rubbing his nose, trying not to appear rude. It’s a very basic, not quite 12-inches. Maybe closer to three, I believe, would be more appropriate and more his style.
Dax (as the clerk): So if that’s on your tab, that will be [muttering]… that’ll be 10 gold.
Josh (as Francis): Perfect!
Josh: I will reach into my coin purse and pull out ten gold pieces. I’ll place the pie tin down very quickly and say,
Josh (as Francis): Don’t touch it.
Josh: And I will pull out the small satchel that I, and also take out a small wedge of the goat cheese that I was given. I must dispose of it somehow and I don’t intend to eat mediocre cheese. I will put that back in my belongings, I will pick up the pie tin again. Investigate it to make certain no one has touched it or licked it absentmindedly in the two seconds it was on the counter before placing it back above my head. I will lead the party back out the store, to the scene of the crime, where we have just come from.
Kappa (as Rou): Is this,
Kappa: Rou is whispering to himself.
Kappa (as Rou): I really hope this is customary. I really do not want to be rude.
Kappa: And looking over at Eight and Inspector, I will bite on the pipe, unsure of how to use it.
Kappa (as Rou): Okay! Uh, so now what? We, we look the part. We are on the case.
Josh (as Francis): Yes, you look quite fantastic if I do say so myself. Yes, now..
Josh: And I will kind of try to find a quiet spot here near where the crime has taken place. Perhaps, an empty corner or something where we can speak privately.
Dax: Considering you are standing near a competition platform, near where there is a very large festival going on, it’s a little difficult to find a completely private area, however I’m sure if you sat at the table on the platform, you’d at least be far enough away from most people that could be walking by casually.
Wren (as Eight): Oh, Inspector. I might be able to help recreate the incident.
Josh (as Francis): An excellent strategy.
Josh: I will lead the group over to the platform and I will leap up as if a graceful gazelle. I will jump and without losing a single stride, I will place the pie tin back on the table where the deed was done. I will turn back to the group, who I presume are following me. I’m just walking and assume that they’re with me. I’m not looking to see that they’re with me, I’m just assuming. Having done this, I will turn back around and say,
Josh (as Francis): Alright! Now, we can begin our investigation. Those pipes are very good, you’ve done a very good job.
Josh: And now I will sit down and have a seat at the table.
Wren: You see, and as I’ve been following behind you, I go around the table to where I had been seated during the competition and I put myself down in my former place. Looking over at Inspector, I say,
Wren (as Eight): You see, I sat here consuming my pies. Jane sat here,
Wren: And I motion to the chair next to me
Wren (as Eight): Consuming her pies. And Rou, Rou sat here.
Wren: And I point to the seat next to me
Wren (as Eight): Consuming his pie, until he ate the other pie, had an allergic reaction, and had to step out of the competition. Which, in theory, might have even saved his life.
Wren: And then I put the pipe back in my mouth. [makes a popping sound with their mouth]
Wren (as Eight): The pies were brought to us by someone from the staff.
Wren: I just have the pipe hanging from my jaw.
Josh (as Francis): Perfect, thank you for that wonderful description of what occurred Eight.
Wren (as Eight): I am Nine.
Josh (as Francis): You’re right, Inspector Nine. Perhaps we could all regain the places that we were at, for those of you that were here of course. I was not here. I will pretend to be Jane for the time being. To learn how you murder, you must take the place of the one who was murdered to understand what happened. Anyways…
Josh: I will take the seat next to Inspector Nine where I was told that Jane sat. And I will hold the pie tin down with two hands in front of me.
Josh (as Francis): So you know a thing or two about the poison and what it did. But if we could know the exact nature of the poison, perhaps it would be very helpful to us to identify who might have this type of poison available to them. And that is what we are going to begin with.
Josh: How much pie residue is left in the pie tin, GM?
Dax: So you would have been told by Reginald in your original questioning, that Jane got about halfway through her pie before she started to choke. At which point, Eight and Rou commented and agreed with Reginald’s story, that they performed the Heimlich maneuver on her. Then she was brought to the medical tent. So unfortunately Reginald did admit that they did clean up most of the pie. So there is very little residue that is actually left in the tin.
Josh: In my professional opinion, is there enough left to try to do some kind of sampling of what remains?
Dax: I think you could get a decent sample. They weren’t very good at cleaning, they didn’t finish their job so…
Josh (as Francis): Lazy individuals. Working, and not finishing it in a proper manner. Of course, of course I expect nothing less.
Josh: And I shall place a small satchel that I have carried at my side up until this point on the table and I will open it and pull out three glass vials and a small teaspoon that clearly goes to a very fancy tea set which is not visible. It is a single teaspoon. I will reach in and scoop up little bits of the pie that remains and put one in each of the three glass vials that I have before I place them in a little holder that I brought with me. And I will, pulling out a small flask, unscrew it and pour it over the spoon in order to sanitize it and be rid of whatever poison may be remaining in those bits left on it before I wipe it on a cloth that I have. And place it back in my satchel.
Josh (as Francis): So! We have here three samples, bits of pie that may yet contain poison. It is now our duty to perform some chemical sampling in order to determine whether or not, perhaps, we can determine the nature of this poison.
Josh: I will, from that same satchel, pull out a couple of vials of chemicals of different types, in order to pour different things in with the different samples to see how it reacts and if it reacts. May I make either an Alchemy check or a Science check in order to do this?
Dax: Dealer’s choice. I would say that you can make it at Easy difficulty. So, one Purple.
[sound of dice rolling]
Josh: One Success, one Triumph, and one Threat.
Dax: And real quick, I’m going to ask Arthas, you see that this strange being pulls out little glass cups? Tubes? Whatever they might be, and puts food in them and then some sort of liquid. What are you doing while the Inspector is performing his… whatever he’s doing?
Neil: Sucking air through my pipe and looking around the stage for anything that could have, any way for someone to put poison in said pie without having been part of the staff.
Dax: Do me a favor?
Neil: Yes.
Dax: Roll me a Perception check at Medium difficulty, and we’ll address that as soon as the Inspector is done with whatever it is he is doing.
Neil: Gotcha.
Dax: You start pouring your liquid into these vials and I assume you’re probably shaking them to make sure the mix gets in there. Maybe. The first one stays clear. The second one turns a pale purple, and the third one stays clear. Now, with the Success you know what that color means. You know the type of poison that was used. What really cool thing would you like to have happen with your Triumph?
Josh: Could I use this Triumph to learn not just the type of poison, but also where might one procure it in the area? And who one might procure it from?
Dax: Sure. I’ll give you that. So you know that the type of poison is something called Selene’s Kiss. It is a poison that is distilled from a flower of the same name. It is a very rare flower, it actually can only be collected from the mountains that are north of Azarra. If you wanted to buy the poison, you would have to be dealing with a poisoner. Somebody who is very skilled in such things, because it’s not something that you can just powder up and mix with certain liquids. You actually do have to be very careful about the extraction process. It’s very labor intensive and oftentimes it results in nothing. It’s very easy to mess up. So in order for somebody to have access to this, they would have to have money, and they would have to have knowledge of underground dealings.
Josh: Very good. I will turn to the three that are with me, and I will explain the results and what that means. Concluding with,
Josh (as Francis): So, clearly we are dealing with a professional. Someone who is either a master assassin or associated with one. Because this is not the type of poison that anyone could get by simply putting some chemicals together and hope for a negative result. This is the work of a master. Clearly something horrible must of occurred in order for this to be, well, the outcome. We will have to consider who might have interest in seeing our pie champion defeated in such a manner. Removed, who might have motive. Because that is the real question. Why would someone want to kill the pie-eating champion?
Dax: Arthas, real quick. What was the result of your Perception check?
Neil: Two Successes and two Threats.
Dax: Alright. So you’re standing there, nomming on your pipe. Sucking air through it, a very loud [inhales] can be heard above everyone’s head. You happen to glance around the platform and you notice something on the ground. Almost completely hidden by the platform itself. You bend down and it’s easy for you to reach the ground without straining too much effort. You find a glass vial.
Neil: I pick it up. Is it empty?
Dax: It is.
Neil (as Arthas): Hmmm. Nine, I found a thing.
Wren: Swinging my head, with the pipe jostling in my jaw.
Wren (as Eight): What is that, Inspector Arthas? You have uncovered a clue?
Neil (as Arthas): No, it’s a vial.
Wren (as Eight): Ahhh! Even better.
Wren: And I will push up from my chair and walk over.
Wren (as Eight): This is in fact a vial and it appears to be empty. Do you suppose it’s related to the poisoning?
Neil (as Arthas): I certainly hope so, or else I’m out of leads.
Wren (as Eight): Just a moment. Might I see it?
Wren: And I’ll hold my hand out.
Neil: I give it to Nine.
Wren (as Eight): Thank you.
Wren: And I will put the vial in my mouth.
Dax: Okay. Like the whole thing?
Wren: Yep. And I’ll start to crunch on it a little bit, to see if it’s laced with any poisons. [crunching sounds]
Dax: So, Eight, could you make me a Coordination check please?
Wren: Coordination?
Dax: Mhmm.
Wren: Oh boy.
Dax: It’s the only thing I can think of that will work and make it at Medium difficulty.
Wren: Alright, so with an Agility of one, and no ranks, I have a green and two purple. [sound of dice rolling] Hey! Two Success and two Threat.
Dax: You’re moving this vial around in your mouth, it doesn’t break but you do start to hear a [crunching sound] as if the glass is straining under the pressure of your maw.
Wren: And I’d like to try and detect if it’s laced with poisons.
Dax: Mhmm.You can do so. I just want to make sure the vial didn’t break.
Wren: Gotcha. What difficulty would you want that check to be?
Dax: Same difficulty, Medium.
Wren: Medium, okay. Two Advantage, and a Success.
Dax: You can tell that this was the vial that held the poison.
Wren (as Eight): Ah Inspector Arthas, a magnificent find. For this was the vessel that contained the murder component that killed Jane the pie-eating champion. I can taste the same elements off of the glass from here as was in the pie.
Neil (as Arthas): Fantastic! But I don’t believe there’s any way we can identify who the vial belonged to.
Kappa: At that, Rou will pipe up.
Kappa (as Rou): I was, I was in the crowd watching the stage while the finalists were eating their pies and when they were served, their pies, hold on. Let me try and recreate.
Kappa: And I’ll jump off of the platform, go to where I was standing and close my eyes and try and remember who was carrying which pie. I’ll do my best to remember who it was.
Dax: Hmm, why don’t I have you make a straight Intellect check?
Kappa: Sure! My Intellect is two, and no difficulties or anything?
Dax: No, it’s pretty fresh in your mind. You only, you know, just experienced this so I won’t assign difficulty.
Kappa: Two Advantages.
Dax: Alright. It means you don’t exactly succeed but you don’t exactly fail. So why don’t you tell me what those Advantages mean to you in this situation?
Kappa: Maybe I can pull out of my mind who it’s…not?
Dax: Yeah, I think that would be good. You would know that okay I know these two people, this is what they look like, were standing way over here so they couldn’t have possibly done it. Yeah, I’ll give you that.
Kappa: At this point, it might be a toss up between the few people who were on stage. Maybe it, if there were multiple people serving pies, we could narrow it down to those people. I can remember what they looked like but not remember exactly who it was that served Jane her particular pie tin.
Dax: You remember a girl with honey blonde hair, you remember a Gnome with fire red hair, and you remember another girl with chestnut hair. Kind of darker skin.
Kappa (as Rou): Okay, okay, okay. I don’t remember who exactly was carrying Jane’s pie tin but there were three possible ones that I can remember. A girl with blonde, sort of golden hair. A Gnome, red, very deep, very vibrant hair. And another girl who, darker skin, some darker hair. Chestnut, chestnut. I don’t know who these people are, but I know what they looked like. If they dropped the vial in this particular area, maybe it was one of them. Who else was on stage? Was the emcee…?
Kappa: Was Reginald on stage as well?
Dax: Yes, yes he was.
Kappa (as Rou): So those three, plus Reginald.
Josh: Having seen this, I’m very impressed with the work of these three fledging inspectors. They have done a very good job, that shows very clearly in my face as I look at them and I say,
Josh (as Francis): Well done. Very well done. You have brought valuable skills and found your own clues as if you are naturally inspectors with the gift that so many of us do have to find the truth out of a muddied mess. This is very good. Could you confirm one detail for me very quickly? Were there only the three contestants who were eating pies during this competition?
Kappa (as Rou): No. It was, so there was myself, there was Eight, now Inspector Nine. There was Jane, there was a big, burly fellow who was sitting over there. I believe there were two others? A pair of twin Dwarves and another older gentleman that seemed to be enjoying the competition at the far end of the table. That’s seven. One more, the older gentleman’s grand-nephew.
Josh (as Francis): Well that’s a very good memory you have. Most impressive. I think it’s important that while we have a general vicinity for where the vial was dropped, that we not rule out anyone who was on or around the stage at this point. Because it is possible that the poison was a bribe, and the vial was dropped prior to delivering the pies. Perhaps the poison was applied, and the vial was held onto until a later time before being dropped off. Inspector Nine? Do you still have the vial intact?
Wren (as Eight): [muffled, as if holding something in their mouth] Yes, I still have the vial.
Josh (as Francis): May I see it please?
Wren: I jut my jaw out and spit the vial into my hand. I say spit, but it’s dry. There’s no saliva. As I’m holding it, I say,
Wren (as Eight): With pleasure. However, I would like to try one more skill before I pass this off to you.
Josh (as Francis): Certainly! What would you like to try?
Wren (as Eight): I do not know how conventional this is, but this may call for magic.
Josh (as Francis): Oh, okay. So long as you do not break the vial, I have no issues with you doing whatever it is you are looking to do.
Wren (as Eight): Excellent. Thank you, Inspector Francis.
Josh (as Francis): Of course, Inspector Nine.
Wren: I take the pipe out of my mouth and I hold it like a magic wand implement. I kind of swirl it around the vial. DM, what I would love to do is I would attempt to cast a utility spell to essentially see the vial’s memories as to who’s touched it within the last day.
Dax: Can you do that with a non-sentient object, is the question I have for you, Eight?
Wren: Well the question I have for you is what limitations on magic would you like to set? Because utility spells says if the player wants to try something, they can pitch it and see what the GM says.
Dax: And utility is the best spell out of the selection that you want to go with?
Wren: Utility is the best one out of all the other ones.
Dax: Okay. Alright, here’s the deal. So first, I’m going to say that your Threat in particular, we haven’t gotten to what happened with Arthas’s Threat yet for his roll. But your Threat, as you pop this vial out of your mouth, you do see there are a couple of cracks in the vial now, which was that scraping noise you heard in your mouth when you were nomming on a glass vial because who does that? If you’d like to cast the spell, I will allow it. And how far back you can go with the spell will depend on your success. So I will make this a Hard difficulty however. Because you are trying to cast a memory search on a non-sentient object. You’re essentially looking for what auras and things are left on this object.
Wren: Yeah, almost like, almost like psychic imprints.
Dax: Yes.
Wren: I would like to spend a story point to upgrade that, so I have three yellow instead of two and a green.
Dax: Sure.
Wren: And we’ll see what happens. [sound of dice rolling] I’m left with two Advantage.
Dax: You cast the spell and what hits you back is very fuzzy. Grey, murky. You can see some figure holding the vial, but the image is so blurry you can’t tell what this person looked like and it doesn’t last very long.
Wren (as Eight): My apologies. It appears that magic will not avail me this time. I defer to your excellent inspector tutelage.
Wren: And I pass the vial over to Inspector Francis.
Josh (as Francis): Thank you Inspector Nine. I appreciate it. I was very much hoping to learn a new skill today in hopes to learn magic to solve crimes. So perhaps, you’ll have to teach me what it was you were attempting at a later time.
Josh: I will take the vial and I will be careful to touch merely the very tip of it and the very bottom of it. I will place it down on the table in front of me. I’m going to reach into my satchel again, if you cannot tell, this is my satchel of inspector supplies. I will pull out a small container, it’s a glass jar. No more than maybe two inches tall, and in about every other measurement. I will unscrew the top and place it down on the table. I will pull a small brush, almost like you might use it for applying makeup or something. I will pull it out of my satchel and I will dip it into this container, which clearly has some powder of some type, black powder. I’m going to look very closely at the vial in the light, trying to determine if this is worthwhile before pulling out that brush. I will brush this black powder across the entirety of the vial. Eye it again, very closely before shaking it ever so gently to loosen whatever of the powder has not attached itself to some oil or something that might be indicative of a fingerprint. I will hold it up to the light to see if perhaps a fingerprint is left.
Dax: If you could roll me an easy Science check? So it’ll be one green, one yellow, and one purple. I’m going to give you a Setback as well, so that’s one black. Because Arthas did pick up the vial and Arthas has much bigger hands.
Josh: So that would give me a Success and a Threat, yes.
Dax: You hold up this vial, the light is shining through it. Most of the vial unfortunately seems a little smudgy. What fingerprints were there [sighs], they’ve been destroyed whether by Arthas picking up the vial or Eight nomming on the glass. Or even perhaps just user error before it was dropped. But right, right on the lip of the vial, you do see very clearly a near perfect fingerprint. And that is where we are going to end this session.
Music fades out [1:01:27]
Dax: Thanks for listening! We hope you’ll join us next time. But in the interim, follow us on Twitter @RoadsUncharted. The Roads Uncharted podcast is GM’d and produced by Dax, who you can find on twitter @GM_Dax. We use the Genesys RPG system published by Fantasy Flight Games and music licensed by Epidemic Sound.
Arthas, Champion of Offham, is played by Neil.
Eight is played by Wren, who also composed the music for our opening theme. Follow them on Twitter @ThornyDryad.
Rou is played by Kappa and you can follow him on Twitter @TheKappaChris.
Francis has been played by our guest, Josh Simons. You can follow him on Twitter @JoshuaMSimons to check out his charity streams, TTRPG content, and all-around goodness. You can also check him out on Twitch at Twitch.tv/JoshuaSimons.