A run-in with some cultists was anticipated, but what resulted from it was completely unexpected.
Eight and Rou have been tasked with hunting down components for a transportation spell Liam plans to execute for them. When they arrive at the town of Spindlefort, they quickly learn of a tavern called The Fuzzy Potato. Eight had foreseen the tavern name when they attempted to scry on the cultists that attacked Pineview, and when the name comes up in conversation the pair immediately take advantage of the situation.
Eight summons chickens in an attempt to match the atmosphere of their vision, but it isn’t until the spell glitches and the chickens run amok that the cultists reveal themselves and the vision comes full circle. Knowing they need to procure mustache hair for Liam’s component list, Rou and Eight decide to engage the cultists in a game of chance, with the odds weighted in their favor.
Follow Dax @GM_Dax, Kappa @TheKappaChris and Wren @ThornyDryad
Transcript by Wren
Kappa and Wren a capella singing intro music ends [00:27]
Wren: [Singing] Don't interrupt the beginning! This is the theme title song now!
Kappa: And then the beat drops.
[mock techno beat]
[everyone laughing]
Electronic music starts [00:36]
Dax: Welcome to a very special episode of Roads Uncharted.
Wren: Is it very special?
Dax: I'm going to kill you!
Wren: Is it a slightly special episode?
Kappa: It's so special! We’ll make it special.
Wren: It's berry special!
Dax: Some of you may remember that Eight performed a divination spell to scry and see if they could figure out if Rou or Eight would run into members of the Order of Tannyth within the next 30 days. And if you'll remember from that episode, they did learn that the pair of them would eventually see some cultists going into a tavern known as the Fuzzy Potato.
They had no idea where that would be, when it would be within the 30 days...they just knew it was going to happen. Well, as you'll also recall, they had been at the home of Liam, a very powerful spellcaster, where we last left them off. And Liam has since asked them to go and gather some spell components around Eulela. Some very difficult to find, and others easier to locate, in order to give them a way to get to Baukora without using airships, since airships won't be available for a few months.
He's going to cast a very powerful transportation spell but, unfortunately, keeping items for that spell are not something you always want to have in stock. So, we're going to join Eight and Rou on part of their journey to gather such spell components just outside of the town named Spindlefort. Now, Rou and Eight, do the pair of you imagine that you're just arriving at this town? Have you been here for a little while? Set the scene for me.
Music shifts to a light and cheerful tune [02:30]
Kappa: I think we're walking in, looking at this list of components and kind of discussing it as this is the first time we're approaching.
Kappa (as Rou): Look, I'm just saying: if Liam really needed mustache hairs, he could have asked me instead of putting it on the list! The fact that it's on the list means that we have to acquire - it can't be from the people who are going to be teleported.
Wren (as Eight): Or, perhaps, it just means that we require multiple mustache's worth of hairs?
Kappa (as Rou): I feel like this would be easy!
Wren (as Eight): Yes, this might be one of the easier ones to procure. Though, I do wonder if stopping to ask someone if they would mind shaving their mustache in the name of magic might actually prove more difficult than we originally assumed.
Kappa (as Rou): It also doesn't have any measurements. We could ask for three mustache hairs instead of just, you know, an entire mustache.
Wren (as Eight): Would it hurt more to get three mustache hairs rather than just shave an entire mustache?
Kappa (as Rou): Hold on, let me try.
Kappa: I will pluck one of my facial hairs.
Kappa (as Rou): I feel like three is easy. I think if it was more close to twenty, I'd be more averse.
Wren (as Eight): Mhmm, but you are an adventurer. You are more tolerant to pain.
Kappa (as Rou): I don't believe that at all.
[Wren and Kappa laugh]
Wren (as Eight): Where do you suppose the best place to look for mustache hairs would be?
Kappa (as Rou): Hmm, I mean, we could always go to the local tavern. If there's some sort of barber around, maybe that might be the place to go?
Wren (as Eight): Oh, yes!
Kappa: Is there anyone passing by?
Dax: I'll say that if you're entering Spindlefort, there are a couple people hanging out and about in the streets going about their daily lives.
Kappa: Okay.
Dax: Are you looking for anyone in particular? Like, particularly somebody with a mustache or -
Kappa: No, no. just someone that might be local.
Dax: Yeah, easy to find.
Kappa: Okay, I'll walk up to the first person and just be like,
Kappa (as Rou): Excuse me. We're new to Spindlefort. We're looking for either – we're looking for a barber. Is there a barber around? If not, can you point us to the closest tavern?
Dax: So, you come up to this Halfling who is carrying this big old rucksack full of, what you can see, is fresh, sheared wool.
Kappa: Mhmm.
Dax: Just, towering over their person. They turn and, with effort, look up at you. You can see that they're trying their best not to fall back with the weight of this rucksack.
Dax (as the Halfling): [slightly higher pitched tone] Oh, uh, well...we don't really have a barber here. Everyone kind of takes care of their own hair themselves. But if you need somebody to do it for you, if you go down the street there...
Dax: They point down the street.
Dax (as the Halfling): Down there, you'll actually run into Madam Trudeau's and she runs a salon. She might be willing to do your hair. It's a salon and bath house. So, perhaps, she might be willing to for a couple of extra coins. If you're looking for a tavern, then you're going to want to go down the street that way.
Dax: And they point in the opposite direction.
Dax (as the Halfling): And you will run into the Fuzzy Potato. It's actually... it's not a great place. Kind of like a greasy spoon. But Grell, the owner, just don't cause trouble in his bar and you'll be perfectly fine.
Kappa: At the mention of “Fuzzy Potato” my eyes widen and I perk up a little bit and I look at Eight to see if Eight caught that.
Wren (as Eight): Pardon me, but did you say Fuzzy Potato?
Dax (as the Halfling): I did. Look, I know it sounds gross. Grell keeps the place spotless. I think it is named after his dog, who kinda looks like a little potato, but covered in fur.
Wren (as Eight): Have you seen any other unusual people enter your town recently?
Dax (as the Halfling): I mean, other than you?
Wren (as Eight): Well, yes. I said “any other”, which implies it would be in addition to, or besides, us.
Dax (as the Halfling): Hey, you never know. Some people don't know how to speak. So, uh, let's see...anybody else that's been weird. No, I don't think so. We get a pretty steady stream of travelers through here, so, asking if we've seen anybody weird is just...eh.
Wren (as Eight): Okay.
Dax (as the Halfling): I think you're probably the first construct I've seen, so that makes you the weirdest.
Wren (as Eight): That's fair. I am a particular anomaly whenever I go places. Well, thank you so much for your information.
Kappa (as Rou): I hope you have a very good day!
Dax (as the Halfling): Yeah, you too! Enjoy Grell's cooking.
Wren: I immediately turn to Rou.
Wren (as Eight): Shall we go to the Fuzzy Potato?
Kappa (as Rou): Yes, we should go to the Fuzzy Potato. Wait, we should be ready for anything to go awry.
Wren (as Eight): Right!
Wren: I will draw my spoon.
Kappa (as Rou): You know, it's very handy that you can just draw out your means of defense without drawing any alarm.
Wren (as Eight): What do you mean?
Kappa (as Rou): Well, if I drew my sword right now in the middle of town, we would draw so much attention to ourselves. But you? Spoon! It's innocuous.
Wren (as Eight): Oh, right. Would you, perhaps, be able to make due with a cooking knife?
Kappa (as Rou): I don't have a cooking knife.
Wren (as Eight): But I do!
Kappa (as Rou): I think we'll hold off. I'm not saying that there is going to be any sort of brawl or anything. I'm just saying that we should be ready. And I'll be ready! I'll just be less ready.
Wren (as Eight): I see. Okay. Well, just in case...
Wren: I would like to summon a big ol' chicken.
Dax: Alright! Take your two Strain, let's cast that summon spell.
Kappa (as Rou): Wait! Wait wait wait.
Dax: As I almost fall off of my chair.
Kappa: As I notice – do I recognize that the chicken is about to be summoned?
Wren: I mean, I would probably look at you and say,
Wren (as Eight): If we are going to be prepared for a potential ruckus, I will summon Eight Jr.
Kappa (as Rou): Before you do, do you remember us walking into the Fuzzy Potato with Eight Jr.?
Wren (as Eight): I just remember… that it was you and me.
Kappa (as Rou): It was you, me and Eight Jr.?
Wren: I will sit and think for a moment.
Wren (as Eight): The image was hazy. However, I do recall many, many chicken! Many chickens. I must summon a flock of Eight Jr.
Kappa (as Rou): Like, right now, as we're walking in? Or was there many chickens…?
Wren (as Eight): They were all present.
Kappa (as Rou): Hmm. I think it's in our best interest to recreate as much as possible and stick to the script of fate.
Wren (as Eight): Right, we would not want to alter the outcome of the original incident by virtue of having knowledge of the incident beforehand.
Kappa (as Rou): Exactly.
Wren (as Eight): You're so wise, friend Rou!
Kappa (as Rou): I've heard stories of this sort of thing happening before.
Wren (as Eight): That's terrifying!
Kappa (as Rou): Exactly. It's also very fascinating. Okay, okay, okay. So, does all of this look familiar? Are we standing in the right spot before we enter the Fuzzy Potato?
Kappa: As I motion towards the buildings and the Fuzzy Potato.
Wren (as Eight): In a cosmic sense, yes. I do, however, need to summon those chickens.
Kappa (as Rou): Okay.
Wren: I just want to summon chickens.
[Dice rolling sounds]
Wren: Aww!
Dax: Mhmm?
Wren: I have a Threat and a Triumph effect.
Dax: Okay. Did you fail as well, or -
Wren: I have no Failure – it's basically – my Successes were washed out by Failures, so I literally have the effects of a Triumph and a Threat.
Dax: So, you have a boon and then you have - okay, that's an interesting combination. Well, whatcha thinkin’?
Wren: I'm thinking, like, I was trying to summon a flock of chickens to be an ally. So I'm thinking maybe I summon the chickens but they don't listen to me and at the same time the cultists come out of the Fuzzy Potato.
Kappa: Oh!
Dax: Okay. Now, I know the vision had said you saw them going in. But, we can definitely argue that, so, the chickens summoning aren't listening to you. They are causing all sorts of a ruckus. You end up having to chase them down the street a little bit towards the Fuzzy Potato.
Not making the calm, quiet approach you were hoping to. And at this noise, you see the cultists come out and they look and see that you're running up with these chickens. Not thinking much of it, that maybe you're just a chicken herder, they start pointing and they start laughing a little bit. They're elbowing each other, like, “Ah! Look at this!” thinking that this is just a joke or that you're just somebody that lives there that is having a really bad day. You know?
Kappa: Mhmm.
Dax: And after satisfying themselves that that's what the noise is, they go back into the tavern. And, Eight, that is when your brain clicks and realizes “That’s what I saw”.
Wren (as Eight): This is good! Friend Rou, we just recreated the entire incident!
Kappa (as Rou): Perfect. There we go. Did you notice if one of them had a mustache? I was too busy handling four or five chickens.
Wren: Can one of them have a mustache?
Dax: I'll say that, yeah. One of them has one of those glorious, curling mustaches that's very perfectly waxed.
Music shifts to a relaxing piano [12:50]
Wren (as Eight): Are you thinking what I'm thinking, friend Rou? Or am I thinking what you're thinking?
[Both laughing]
Kappa: You're thinking what I'm thinking, Kappa. Are we about to play a card game for this man's mustache?
[Wren laughing]
Dax: Look, out of character and above table, I am here for this. If this is what y’all want to do, I will say that if this is something you want to do, just get a d20 for me. That's all I'm going to ask.
Kappa: Oh my God. Okay, when you ask “are you thinking what I'm thinking”...
Kappa (as Rou): I think we're on the same wavelength here. How ironic would it be if our enemies were defeated by one of their mustaches?
Wren (as Eight): Ah! Yes! Yes! It's almost like something out of a story!
Kappa (as Rou): Okay, okay okay. I say we try and procure that man's glorious mustache.
Wren (as Eight): What is the best way to convince people to do things that they might not normally do then?
Wren: I say, as I stand outside with my arms crossed in front of my chest.
Kappa (as Rou): Maybe we give them the opportunity to gain something more? Like a wager! We stack the odds in our favor.
Wren (as Eight): Are you suggesting we cheat?
Kappa (as Rou): Not cheating. Maybe cheating. But, you also have to consider: this is the cult we're dealing with. Anything untoward that they are doing is bad. I wouldn't say it's cheating, per se...okay, yes. It's cheating. But it's for a good cause. It's to help defeat them!
Wren (as Eight): In order to defeat evil, we must sometimes commit small actions that we normally would not otherwise not commit.
Kappa (as Rou): Plus, plus, the mustache will probably grow back, right?
Wren (as Eight): That's true. Right. Then a wager we will set and a mustache we will win!
Kappa (as Rou): Let's do it. Okay.
Wren: I will tie Bessie up outside and follow in after friend Rou.
Dax: Okay. So the pair of you go into this tavern and, just as the Halfling had said, there- I mean, this place look spotless. It has beautiful, gleaming mahogany tables. There is beautiful little atmospheric candles all over the place. You can smell the scent of hearty, real stout beer and baked bread and something roasting in the back that smells absolutely delicious.
You can see that there are a couple of patrons scattered about, including the cultists that are sitting at a small, round table off in the corner talking amongst themselves with their pints of ale. And you can see that there is a Half-Orc standing behind the bar, kind of just, cleaning things up and restocking shelves. Sees the two of you walk through the door and gives you a nod of greeting from a distance.
Kappa: I will nod and, I think, we should try to sit at the table closest to the cultists.
Dax: Sure, easy enough. There are plenty of open tables.
Kappa: And, under whispered breath...
Kappa (as Rou): Okay, is there anything that you can do that we can present as a sort of game of chance, that we can, somehow, manufacture a victory for us?
Wren (as Eight): Like...imaginary cards?
Kappa (as Rou): Perhaps. Or maybe, like, if we take a ball and put it in or a piece of dust or a slip of paper and we put it in these cups and we shuffle these cups around, the paper is underneath a different cup than the one we had put it under?
Wren (as Eight): Oh! Shell game friend!
Kappa (as Rou): Yes. Or, or, like, as you said, a special deck where we always pull the card that they pick out or something? We always see these street performers passing by back in Baukora and sometimes they would do this sort of magic. And it was not magic. They would have these tricks up their sleeves or be very deft with their hands to misdirect. I feel like this would be trivial if you had actual magic!
Wren (as Eight): Well, luckily for us, we do have actual magic. Now, the fact of the matter is we need to decide what we would like to do. Those are all excellent options, so.
Kappa (as Rou): I think whatever is easiest for you we should do. I think that might be the easiest part. The hard part would be trying to convince them to play this game. And then also wager the mustache.
Wren (as Eight): I've got it: chance cube friend.
Kappa (as Rou): Chance cube friend?
Wren (as Eight): Chance cube friend can be designated to always roll to the side of our choosing.
Kappa (as Rou): [Gasps] That is so smart.
Wren (as Eight): We can convince the other side to take a risk on the side we know will not be chosen. We can guarantee our success.
Kappa (as Rou): Okay, so...I think you focus on chance cube friend, and I will try my best to make it look like this game is winnable.
Wren (as Eight): That's true, we need to make this look like it is not rigged.
Dax: Just as you're finishing this conversation, that is when Grell walks over to the table and says,
Dax (as Grell): [slightly deeper tone] Alright, welcome to the Fuzzy Potato, yes the food is edible, there is no hair on the food. What can I get for you?
Kappa (as Rou): Oh! Um, hello! My name is Rou and this is my great friend, Eight. We were pointed in the direction of your fine establishment and they sang praises of your food. So, I think, a dish of whatever house special is available, we would like to try that.
Dax (as Grell): Potato soup is still on the pot. Can I get you something to drink in the meantime?
Kappa (as Rou): Just water for now. For now.
Kappa: And I will motion to Grell to come closer.
Dax: He does so.
Kappa (as Rou): I'm curious about these people over there. How have they been conducting themselves?
Kappa: Do they seem boisterous?
Dax: They're kind of keeping to themselves. Keeping their heads kind of close together, their voices kind of low.
Kappa: Okay.
Kappa (as Rou): They also don't look like they're from around here.
Dax: Grell squints his eyes a little bit as if he's trying to figure out what kind of con you're trying to pull. And he goes,
Dax (as Grell): Look, there's only two rules in my tavern. One, don't cause any trouble. Two, pay your bill.
Kappa (as Rou): I wouldn't dream of causing any sort of trouble! We just want to make sure they would be amenable to a tavern game!
Dax (as Grell): I dunno about that. I don't have any control, you're gonna have to ask them. Just don't wreck any of my furniture.
Kappa (as Rou): Right, okay.
Dax: He turns to look at you, Eight.
Dax (as Grell): Do you want something to drink?
Wren (as Eight): Do you have anything made with potatoes?
Dax (as Grell): I got some vodka?
Wren (as Eight): Ooh. Perfect. I will have some of this “vodka”, as you say.
Dax (as Grell): One or two fingers?
Wren (as Eight): Is this a game?
Dax (as Grell): How much do you want?
Wren (as Eight): One finger.
Dax (as Grell): One?
Wren (as Eight): Your finger or my finger?
Dax: Again, kind of squints a little bit, trying to figure out what you're trying to pull and just makes a sharp turn and goes back to the bar. And all you hear is,
Dax (as Grell): Goddamn foreigners.
Kappa: Wow!
[Wren and Kappa laughing]
Wren: Woah. That got a little intense.
Kappa (as Rou): I don't know what that was about. Are there going to be fingers in your drink?
Wren (as Eight): Well, at that point, I'm glad that I said one finger because I would definitely not like to find two different fingers in my drink.
Kappa (as Rou): Okay, hmm. I'm suddenly a little concerned about this sort of establishment.
Kappa: As I’m looking around, there don't seem to be fingers in anyone's drinks, right?
Dax: No. Everything looks, actually, I mean, honestly, other than the fact that it's pretty empty, it looks kind of classy.
Kappa: Okay, great.
Kappa (as Rou): Okay, okay okay. So, I think we should get the dice game going. And maybe we make it look like we're having so much fun that they'll want to join in!
Dax: Alright. I would like each of you to grab me a d20, please.
Kappa: [in sing song voice] d20!
Dax: Alright, so, audience, as you know, we're a Genesys RPG podcast so normally d20 don't come into the game, with the exception of our “Beldun Incident” where we played “Danger and Daring”. Please go check those out if you haven't already.
Players, how this is going to work is that you are going to roll your dice and anytime that the dice is an 11 or above, it is a success. Picture the 11-20 are the blue side and then the 1-10 are the red side. And very similar to a chance cube in some other fan fiction that you might recognize...
Wren: [clears throat] Nothing intergalactic.
Dax: Nothing at all! And, yes, I realize a d6 might have made more sense, but too bad we’re doing a d20.
[Wren laughs]
Kappa: I actually have Star Wars chance cubes.
Wren: There are rules for Star Wars chance cubes in the “Fly Casual” book.
Dax: Love it. Well, we're not using those, even though it is the same publisher, we're not using those rules. So, how it's going to work, obviously, a lot of it is going to be narrative because we're not rolling at an actual table. Spoilers: for those of you that don't know, this is done online. As far as when it comes down to the cultists playing, I will actually roll for the cultists. But since y'all get to choose which side wins or loses, you can tell me if it's red or blue.
Kappa: Oh, okay!
Dax: And you do have story points you can use still. In this instance, we can have story points change fate. If you tell me it's supposed to be one thing and I roll the side that should have won, then you can have me change it or whatever. So, we're going to modify this a little bit.
Kappa: I see. Okay, cool!
Dax: What's this look as you try to garner interest? Now, I'll say that at this point, as you are getting everything set up, Grell comes over and gives you a mug of water, Rou. And, Eight, you get a nice glass filled with this very clear liquid. About a fingers' worth. So, a shot.
Wren: Who's finger, though?
Dax: It's not actually a finger.
Wren: No, no. I'm not saying it's a finger but who's finger is used as the measurement?
Dax: Grell.
Wren: Okay, how big are Grell's fingers? Because my forefinger is like a half inch.
Dax: Yea, it's about a half inch.
Wren: That's not that much.
Dax: It's a shot! What do you want?
Wren: [Quietly] Two fingers.
[Kappa laughs]
Dax: Well, you only said one.
Kappa: [Laughing] Eight doesn't know this!
Wren: I know!
Dax: Plus, the last time Eight was given fine liquor, actually, cheap liquor, really. Eight got drunk.
Wren: Super drunk.
Dax: So, it's good for Eight to start off small.
Kappa: I did not know this! This is good. Okay, um...
Dax: And if anybody wants to listen to those episodes, go back to season one.
Kappa: Yes! Okay. I think that it's not even us rolling and stuff, to try to garner interest, it's like,
Kappa (as Rou): Okay, Eight. I'm going to laugh really boisterously and then you also follow suit and I'll be like “oh, this is so fun” and just make it look like we're having a grand old time and maybe they’ll want to join in.
Wren (as Eight): I understand.
Kappa (as Rou): Okay. Three. Two. One. [laughing loudly]
[Wren obviously fake laughing]
Music shifts to suspenseful jazz tune [26:44]
Kappa (as Rou): How delightful! I owe you so much, my friend. Oh, man. So, if I had rolled the other side of this chance cube, you would owe me a drink. Right?
Wren (as Eight): [staccato tone] That is correct. But now you owe me because of the choices we have made collectively.
Kappa: I'll look over. Do they seem interested?
Dax: Um, I'll say that a couple of them – there are three of them, to be fair – they are looking over your way, but they are definitely trying to not make it obvious. And it's mostly because of the boisterous laughing.
Kappa: Okay.
Wren (as Eight): [staccato tone] Let us roll these cubes some more so that we might put bets down and, perhaps, owe one another other things.
Kappa (as Rou): Yes, let's make it a bit more interesting than who gets the next round of drinks.
Dax: Do me a favor, remind me what your Deception skills are.
Kappa: Deception?
Dax: Mhmm. Because you are bluffing. You are trying to get them by lying about all of this stuff.
Kappa: So, I have social skill, Deception, three ranks.
Dax: Okay, three. Alright. Eight, you have how much?
Wren: I have a green die.
Dax: Okay. So, I have to do a little reroll because I don't have that many red die. But that's fine. I'm going to see how believable they think this whole thing is.
Kappa: Yeah, my Cunning...If you want me to roll my Deception, I will.
Dax: No, I'm going to make it opposed.
Kappa: Oh!
Dax: So, let's see...I need to reroll this…
Wren: I am of little to no help.
Dax: Alright, so you start to get ready to “reroll”, quote unquote, and the one closest to your table, you feel something nudge you in the back, Rou.
[Kappa Laughing]
Kappa: I'll turn around as if I'm surprised.
Kappa (as Rou): Oh, I didn't see you there. Sorry, we're just playing such a really fun game. Excuse me, my bad.
Dax (as First Cultist): [British accent]Um, no, I was actually stopping over to ask what game are you playing? Sounds like you're having a jolly good time!
Kappa (as Rou): No, it's just a simple – quite, indeed, yes. We are having so much fun! This is just a simple game of chance cubes. There are certain rules and stuff that people have different variations on depending where they are from. But, it's simple. You choose a side and if it rolls in your favor, you win! And then, depending on what wagers you make, your win could be fairly large or as simple as getting your friend here across the table another drink.
Kappa: And I'll smile over at Eight and wink.
Dax: The cultist, this particular one has dark brown skin, has this nice curly, black hair. Big, amber colored eyes. Stroking his chin a little bit and he looks down at the two of you and says,
Dax (as First Cultist): Do you ever wager for more than just a drink? I mean, drinks are all fine and dandy, but you can't drink all day? Do you ever gamble for, uh…
Dax: Looks around and leans in close.
Dax (as First Cultist): Perhaps, some money?
Kappa (as Rou): Sure, definitely. But, I mean, as I'm traveling with my companion here, we sort of share the same pot of money. If you were interested, there might be some way to get some coin, provided that the proprietor is okay with us playing games of chance!
Kappa: I'll say that very loudly so that Grell can hear.
Dax: Grell nods and then all you hear is,
Dax (as Grell): Just don't break anything in my bar!
Wren: Very worried about breaking things.
Dax: Hey, it's a nice establishment. You would be, too.
Kappa: [laughing] This is an up and up place! Alright.
Kappa (as Rou): Would you and your friends over there care to join us? We can push our tables together.
Dax: He turns and looks over his shoulders.
Dax (as First Cultist): What do you think, lads? See how much we could potentially...lose...
Dax: And he winks at you, Rou, very obviously.
Dax (as First Cultist): Or win some money?
Kappa: I'll chuckle in response.
[Kappa does a mock chuckle]
Dax: The other two, including the one with the fabulous mustache nod in agreement and they start to work towards pushing the table next to yours. They bring over their mugs of ale and the one with the mustache calls out
Dax (as Mustache Cultist): [slightly posh British accent] Grell, Grell! Could you please, dear old chap, just bring over another round of drinks for our new friends?
Wren: This English bastard.
Kappa: Yes, this pip pip cheerio dude is about to lose his mustache.
Wren: Pip pip!
[Kappa and Wren laughing]
Dax: Look...
Kappa: Okay, he's a cultist, alright. We know this! Alright.
Dax: They're all getting ready. They're drinking their beer and watching intently.
Dax (as First Cultist): Alright, now, you...
Dax: And this is the one that reached out to you originally, holds out his hand.
Dax (as First Cultist): The name’s John!
Kappa (as Rou): John, good to meet you, John. My name is Reeree.
Dax (as John): Ah! Reeree, pleasure to meet you. Pleasure to meet you. And your companion would be?
Kappa: I'll motion to Eight.
Wren (as Eight): I am called… Bettron.
Dax: Did you say Bettron?
Wren: I did.
Dax: Okay, alright.
Dax (as John): Bettron. Reeree. Good to meet you. This is my companion, Miguel.
Dax: And you look and see that there is another individual, kind of darker skin, black hair. Nods to the two of you.
Dax (as John): And this is actually my brother, Jonathan. Don't ask why one of us is John and the other is Jonathan. It’s a whole thing, I don’t want to get into it.
Dax: And Jonathan is the one with the mustache.
Kappa (as Rou): Don't worry about it. My mother named my brother Rourou. So…
Kappa: Oh no. [Laughing] what, why is that so funny? We broke Dax!
Dax: I swear to god.
Kappa: This is a special episode, indeed.
Dax: It is a special episode, this is fine.
Wren: A very special episode.
Dax (as John): It's alright. But did you live in the same house? Because we didn't. We actually didn't realize we were brothers until more recently.
Kappa (as Rou): That's very interesting. No, nothing of the sort. It was Reeree and Rourou.
Dax (as John): Then you had either very interesting parents or I have to ask many questions after the game. But, enough talk. Let's get into this. How does this game of chance work?
Kappa (as Rou): It's fairly simple. You roll some number...
Kappa: Actually, I'll let Eight describe it, because this is your game.
Wren (as Eight): I have in my hand a number of cubes. I will roll these cubes and you can guess in an attempt to determine the number of colored sides and what colored sides will be remaining face up when they have been rolled.
Dax (as John): I see, and it's blue or red, right?
Wren (as Eight): Correct.
Dax (as John): And we have to guess how many? Or is it just that blue comes up more than red? Kind of thing.
Wren (as Eight): That is entirely at the group's disposal, the rules. It can be exact.
Wren: And, we'll just say I've got five cubes.
Wren (as Eight): So, for example, if I roll these die and the faces come up three red, two blue, had you guessed three red and two blue, you would win double the betted pot! Or, if you guess in majority, you would receive a smaller portion of winnings.
Dax (as John): I see, I see. Since we're just learning, what do you say, chap? Should we just go with maybe not exact numbers, just yet, until we get the hang of it?
Dax: And you watch as Miguel nods his head silently in agreement and Jonathan says,
Dax (as Jonathan): Yes, I think that's actually a perfectly acceptable way to do this.
Dax: And starts twisting his mustache.
Wren: [quietly in a mocking voice] Yes, yes. Good.
[Kappa chuckles]
Dax (as Jonathan): So, what is the first wager?
Kappa (as Rou): You've been so gracious as to get the current round for the table. Let's wager the next round, then!
Dax (as Jonathan): Alright, alright. I think that's fair. Let's do that. Alright, so...I say that if there are more blue than there are red when you roll the dice that we win. For the next round of drinks.
Kappa (as Rou): I feel like this is amenable. So if there are more red, then we will pick up the next round.
Kappa: No, no.
Kappa (as Rou): If there are more red then you will pick up the next tab beyond this pitcher.
Dax (as Jonathan): Sounds agreeable.
Dax: In order for Rou and Eight to win, they have to roll more red. Which means we need to roll an 11-20 when I roll for the NPCs.
Kappa: Okay.
Dax: So, are the two of you going to manipulate the dice this round or are you going to let it fall and see where it goes?
Wren: I'd probably manipulate it so that they would win.
Dax: Okay, okay. So, then I'm going to flip a story point for you.
[Dice rolling sound]
Dax: And that actually worked out very well for you.
Kappa: Yay!
Dax: Alright, so I rolled my dice. I actually was one over, but because of the story point flipped, it flips over to the color you needed. So, it ends up being blue. The three cultists begin cheering. There is a little bit of playful jabbing like “ah hah, you fell for it! We got you!”
Kappa: I'll play along.
Dax: The next round of drinks comes that had been ordered at the start of the game. Another finger's worth of vodka for you, Eight. Have you drunk your other cup yet?
Wren: I've probably been nursing it. I learned from my last -
Dax: Okay. So now you have a cup and a half?
Wren: I have learned from my last bar excursion.
Dax: Alright. So, for this next round I'm going to have y'all roll.
Kappa (as Rou): Okay, okay. So, we've got the drinks ready to go. Let's make things a tiny bit more interesting. A lot of people really play this game to wager some money, so, I'm willing to put up...
Kappa: Looking at my sheet, I don't know how much silver I got. But I’m willing to put -
Dax: Y'all have so much right now.
Kappa: Yeah, I was going to say. I'm willing to put up...is 10 silver a lot? 20 silver? What's a lot of silver?
Dax: I mean, it's a lot, but it's pocket change right now.
Kappa: Okay.
Dax: Between all of the things you've been doing around Eulela and you haven't really spent much of it?
Kappa: Yeah.
Dax: It's an easy thing for you to pull out of your purse.
Kappa: I'll say enough for a night at an inn or something like that.
Dax: Sure, that's fair. So, yeah, we'll stick with 20 silver, then. The three cultists gather up their coin purses and between the three of them, manage to shell out the 20 silver to match.
Kappa (as Rou): And I'm going to say that there are going to be two red. I'm going to be more exact here.
Dax: Miguel leans in and you hear,
Dax (as Miguel): Ah, so you're going to up the difficulty, too. I see, I see. Alright, I'll see your two red.
Dax: And he pops in another 5 silver to up the ante.
Kappa: Yes!
Kappa (as Rou): Okay. So, we're agreed. Right? This is the pot. Bettron, if you will, please?
Kappa: Or do I roll it?
Dax: Either one.
Kappa: Okay.
Dax: We're just going to make it alternating PCs versus NPCs rolls.
Kappa: But, narratively, Bettron is rolling it?
Wren: Mhmm.
[Dice rolling sound]
Kappa: Okay, I got a seven.
Dax: Alright, seven is 1-10. That's red. So I'll say you're successful in getting your two red.
Kappa: Oh, okay. Cool! Then I will very sheepishly say,
Kappa (as Rou): I honestly did not expect that.
Kappa: I'm going to very slowly grab the coins and put them over to my side. But not put them away. I'm just going to say “these are my winnings” and I'll be...yeah.
Dax: And I'll say that the cultists, while there is an audible groan of “aw, man”, it's like, they're not upset. They understand this is a friendly game and you're bound to win some and lose some. I'll say that this goes on for how many more rounds do you play this game?
Kappa: A few rounds. I want to be, like, get everyone just a little bit tipsy.
Dax: Sure.
Kappa: Tipsy to drunk. I've been drinking water the whole time.
Dax: Eight, how many drinks do you consume?
Wren: I probably do the two and then I'll probably figure out a way to tell the bartender “water is good, at this point”. And it's only more hilarious because water and vodka look exactly the same.
Dax: Yeah.
Wren: So, I'm like, just start bringing them water in the same way.
Dax: Can I get vodka and water, hold the vodka? Yeah.
Wren: Yeah. [chuckles]
Dax: I mean, easy enough.
Kappa: [laughing] Can I get a virgin vodka?
Dax: A virgin vodka.
[All laughing]
Dax: So, yeah. I'll say another five rounds will get these cultists starting to get towards drunk. There are times now where you are making your bets and they, technically, would have won the round, but by the time the dice are rolled with all of the joking and cajoling that have been going on, they forget what color they bet.
[Kappa laughing]
Kappa: Alright.
Dax: And imagine that you won. So, Eight, you aren't forced to use your abilities to continue to cheat. There have been some rounds where you have had to and some where you didn't. This latest round, they have been in their cups and the two of you are pretty gosh-darn sober. We're going to do opposing rolls now.
Kappa: Okay.
Dax: Miguel turns to the two of you and says,
Dax (as Miguel): Alright! One more. One more. One more round.
Kappa (as Rou): Okay, Grell, one more round, please!
Dax (as Miguel): What's the wager on this one? Come on, if this is going to be the last one we've gotta make it a big one!
Kappa (as Rou): Make it fun and interesting, I understand. Okay, oh. Okay, I have this idea. It's – I feel like we've developed a sort of friendship here, right? I'm going to say that I've always wanted to grow a mustache, just like Jonathan over there. That is what I want.
Dax (as Miguel): That's just called don't shave, man! I don't see what the problem is.
Kappa (as Rou): As much as I try, it just comes in and doesn't find the right shape, you know? If you are willing, I'd like to take some scissors...some shears and fashion some – take the mustache and fashion a sort of fake one that I can wear. Almost like a wig, you know, but for a mustache, because it just looks so glorious! But I'm unable to grow one!
Dax: I just want the audience to know that Kappa is doing scissor motions facing each other.
[All laughing]
Kappa: Like a crab.
Dax: Yes!
Kappa: And just be like,
Kappa (as Rou): You can say “no”. You can say “no”. I'm just saying that this would make it so interesting. Wouldn't you agree?
Kappa: I'm going to point to John and Miguel and.. what was the other one?
Dax: Jonathan was the one with the mustache, so John and Miguel. Jonathan.
Kappa: Yep, I'll point to the other two.
Kappa (as Rou): Would you agree that would be funny? That would be quite fun?
Dax: So, Jonathan and John are much further into their cups than Miguel is. Miguel is a little bit on the tipsy side. The other two are pretty sloshed.
Dax: At this point, John is pointing to his brother and laughing and you're hearing,
Dax (as John): Imagine you without your mustache! I mean, that's the whole defining feature to cover that scar on your lip!
Dax: Jonathan is bawling, he's laughing so hard.
Dax (as Jonathan): Alright, alright, alright. Now, chap, if I get rid of my mustache, then what are you going to do if you lose? I think there's a lake right around here. You're going to have to walk through the town buck naked to the lake!
[Kappa laughs]
Kappa (as Rou): Oh no. Oh no. Oh, man. Okay, to the lake. How far is the lake? And how populated is the town at this time of night? This is our first night here, so, you know. If it's empty, that's not as interesting.
Dax: Jonathan is laughing throughout all of this and says,
Dax (as Jonathan): I imagine we could make the town empty. We could make the town empty, don't you think, John?
Dax: John is, at the same time as Jonathan is saying this, John is talking about how,
Dax (as John): You know the lake is only about half a mile that way! Just a short jog -
Kappa (as Rou): Half a mile?? That's so far! Okay, here, I have a counter offer.
Kappa: I will reach into my bag and pull up one of the tiny, small mason jars of honey and slam it onto the table.
Kappa (as Rou): Okay, my friends. This, we're adventurers. We come across many strange oddities. This here honey, has been harvested from magical bees that collect their nectar from a very specific plant. A plant that is usually toxic to humans but the pollen when created, when created by the bees, infuses its magic in this here honey. This here honey has amazing healing properties. Amazing healing properties!
We've used it on a broken arm that fixed right up over night. We've added it to teas that were: 1) quite delicious, but, 2) helped with indigestion and, you know, some of the more unsavory bathroom business. This here honey was collected facing off these bees. These golden – they are large. And when I say bees, I mean bees. Bees as large as a cat.
Dax: Like I said, Miguel is tipsy. The other two are sloshed. Even though they've been in their cups, I'm going to ask you to make one more Deception roll for me. Give yourself a Boost because of the alcohol. You're going to make it at Hard difficulty, so three purple. One upgraded once, so two purple, a red, but you get the Boost.
[Dice rolling sound]
Kappa: I got a Disadvantage and a Triumph.
Dax: Alright, so you have a Boon and the Threat left over?
Kappa: Yes.
Dax: Okay. Alright.
Kappa: I think, if I may...
Dax: Yeah?
Kappa: You can tell me if you have something, narratively, better.
Dax: Sure.
Kappa: I think the Threat is just Miguel being like “there are no cat-sized bees, this is ridiculous!” You know? And I'll just be like,
Kappa (as Rou): This is – this is – this is Jonathan's mustache. Please let Jonathan make this wager, my friend.
Kappa: You know, something like that.
Kappa (as Rou): This honey jar could be all yours.
Dax: Okay. I'm going to say, mechanically, one of the things you can do with a Triumph is you can successfully conceal your true goal. So, I will say, that narratively, what you present works. And Jonathan who is all about having a good time right now, starts shoving Miguel a little bit.
Dax (as Jonathan): Aw, come on, Miguel. It's just a little bit of a mustache, it'll grow back! It's perfectly fine, old chap!
Kappa (as Rou): Yes! It'll grow back!
Dax (as Jonathan): Let's do this! We've been winning perfectly fine. It'll be great!
Kappa (as Rou): Yes, yes, Jonathan!
Kappa: I'll point at Jonathan. Kind of like, waving – er, wavering- like I'm off balance, but I'm perfectly stone-cold sober.
Dax: Yeah. Alright, Wren or Kappa.
Kappa: Mhmm?
Dax: One of you will roll your d20 and I will roll mine and we will see who gets the higher number for this one. Because Miguel has got his eyes on you right now. So, whatcha got?
Kappa: So what am I trying to roll here? I'm just trying to roll...
Dax: I'm going to say you're going to have to beat a two.
Kappa: Okay.
[Wren laughing]
Wren: You rolled well.
Dax: I rolled so well.
[Dice rolling sounds]
Kappa: I got a four. [laughing]
Dax: What color did you end up betting, Reeree?
Kappa: Oh, shit! I'll just say mostly blue.
Dax: Okay. Now, is Eight still rolling the dice, technically? Is Bettron still rolling?
Wren: Yeah.
Dax: Okay. So, Eight, you roll this dice and all of you watch. It's almost like the room goes silent as this dice is scattering across the table that is wet with sloshed ale and stuff. Everyone goes silent as they are watching and you watch as “clunk” one red. “Clunk”, blue. “Clunk”, blue. “Clunk”, blue. It keeps going and the last dice rolls farther and almost hits towards the ends of the table before it stops.
You can hear the audible gasp from the cultists. It's almost got that moment of teetering on it's edge and then falls and it lands on blue. And you hear this audible “Oh!” from the cultists as they lose their wager!
[Kappa cheering]
Kappa (as Rou): Give me your 'stache! Give it to me, it's mine now!
Dax: Drunk though they are, the cultists honor their wager. You end up leaving the tavern with a baggie of this mustache hair.
Kappa: I'll pull out – if we have a vial – I'll pull out a vial and scoop some of the honey into it. As a show of friendship and good faith.
Kappa (as Rou): Here, here you go. Maybe rub it on the bald patch there Jonathan and it will grow back faster? Who knows? It's magical honey!
Dax (as Jonathan): Yeah! I don't think that's a bad idea!
Dax: You watch as he starts spreading the honey on his upper lip. Yeah, you leave with a vial full of mustache hair. You leave with 60 silver in your pocket between all of the back and forth wagers that you made.
Kappa: Hey!
Dax: Anything else the pair of you want to accomplish before we call this session ended?
Wren: Nuh uh.
Dax: Nothing to be said by Bettron?
Wren: No. Because that is me, Bettron.
Kappa: Yeah, no. I got nothing.
Dax: Alright, then with that, we'll call the session ended.
Wren: Beep boop.
Dax: Oh my god. Just....wow.
Music fades out [51:17]
Dax: Thanks for listening! We hope you’ll join us next time but in the interim, follow us on Twitter @RoadsUncharted.
The “Roads Uncharted” podcast is GMed and produced by Dax who you can find on Twitter @GM_Dax. We use the Genesys RPG System published by Fantasy Flight Games and music license by Epidemic Sound.
Eight is played by Wren, who also composed the music for our opening theme. Follow them on Twitter @ThornyDryad.
Rou is played by Kappa, and you can follow him on Twitter @TheKappaChris.