Eight, Arthas, and Rou locate the source of the mysterious drumming. Getting it to stop, however, will be much harder than they anticipated.
The trio heads off to the unexplored area on their map, attempting to locate the source of the drumming. Upon reaching the rocky outcropping, Arthas tosses a rock and ends up striking a green humanoid named Griswold. Talking to Griswold reveals that they will need to request permission from their chief in order to get the drums to cease.
On the other side of the outcropping is a cave, wherein a group of goblins have taken up residence. Talking to the goblin leader, Blisternose, Rou attempts to negotiate a peaceful compromise; however, Blisternose has other plans.
Follow Dax @GM_Dax, Kappa @TheKappaChris, and Wren @ThornyDryad
Transcript by CJ Kallevig
Upbeat piano intro ends[00:28]
Gentle piano music fades in [00:29]
Wren (as Eight): I am Eight, and you are listening to Roads Uncharted. Previously on Roads Uncharted, my companions and I arrived at a very small village called Springpoint. Which was very quaint and quite lovely, except for the fact that there was constant drumming going on, which seemed to be irritating the locals. We spoke to the mayor and we have been tasked with finding the cause of this mysterious drumming. Through some sleuthing or investigation, we have deduced that the noise appears to be originating from an unexplored location to the northeast. With this bearing in mind, the group of us are determined to see to it that this drumming ceases and the village return to its cozy, quiet state.
Dax: Rou, Eight, and Arthas. As you head northeast of the village of Springpoint, Rou and Arthas with pretzels and pickles in hand. It doesn’t take you too long, you’ve gone about a mile and a half before you realize that you’re starting to feel vibrations in your feet. You go another mile and you realize that the drumming sounds louder this way. You get almost to another mile and you happen to notice a big grouping of rocks that the villagers had said that they had difficulty exploring. Which is why it was the open spot left on their map. You can hear the drums very clearly now.
Kappa: Some, at some point as we are approaching this area, Rou is going to say, a little bit louder than he usually speaks,
Kappa (as Rou): You know, I don’t mean to insult Springpoint, but, it is very obvious once you start approaching where the drumming is coming from.
Neil (as Arthas): They might not be the brightest bulbs in the box.
Kappa (as Rou): I, I mean it’s very, I can feel it as we walk closer to this spot in the map. I understand, they might be afraid of what’s on the other side of what those rocks over there.
Neil: Dax, do we have a clear view as to what’s making the drumming? Or is this all just like out of sight?
Dax: You don’t see anything. But I will say, Arthas, you are probably the only one that would be able to see over this large mass of rocks if you were to stand on your tiptoes. That’s how high these are.
Neil: I will stand on my tip toes.
Dax: You peer over this patch of rocks and you can see that, ahead of you that probably goes about six or seven feet out and then there’s this what appears to be a sheer drop. So it’s just like this mass of, not really even a mountain, but a rocky outcropping, I guess you could call it.
Neil: Is there a rock small enough for me to throw nearby?
Dax: Sure! Why not?
Neil: I will toss it over the rocky outcropping.
Dax: You hear it go *chunk chunk chunk chunk*, and then you hear it as it goes *clack clack*. Obviously hitting something on the other side and then you hear,
Dax (as an unknown voice): [high-pitched voice] OW!!
Neil: Did the drumming stop?
Dax: No.
Neil: Damn!
Neil (as Arthas): Well, I’m out of ideas.
Kappa (as Rou): Arthas, you hit someone.
Neil (as Arthas): Oh. Great point.
Wren (as Eight): Arthas, you single-handedly tossed a small boulder the size of a large boulder.
Neil: I thought it was like a pebble, but like a step up. Like a fun sized rock.
Dax: I think Wren is just trying to pinpoint when this recording occurred. [laughs]
Wren: A year later.
[Neil laughs]
Neil: I would like to lean over the rocky outcropping and see what I hit.
Dax: We’ll say in order for you to do that, you and anybody else who would want to would have to climb up to the top of the rocky outcropping.
Neil: Absolutely.
Kappa: Oh yeah, sure.
Dax: Alright. So, everybody who’s climbing, give me an Athletics check. Give it to me at Medium difficulty, with the exception of Arthas, who’s going to give it to me at Easy. Because he’s much larger, it won’t take much for him to scramble.
[dice rolls]
Neil: A Success and a Triumph.
[dice rolls]
Kappa: A Failure and an Advantage.
[dice rolls]
Wren: I just rolled a wash!
Dax: Alright. So Arthas, you are able to very easily clear this rocky outcropping. What thing would you like to insert into the scene or what other cool thing would you like to have happen with your Triumph?
Neil: I did not wound the person with the rock too terribly.
Dax: Okay. I think that’s fair. Eight, how do you want that wash to play out?
Wren: With a wash, I believe I attempt to clamber up this rockface, but literally I’m just physically incapable. Like every time I try and put my feet down, I gather no purchase and I just kind of slide back down. As I watch Rou and Arthas reach the top with seemingly no effort at all, I just stand there and put my arms akimbo, and yell up,
Wren (as Eight): Excellent work my friends! Now, if you would not mind, describe to me what you are seeing with extreme detail, for I appear incapable of making it up this rocky ledge.
Dax: And on that note, Rou. How, how do you fail at this climb? What does this look like?
Kappa: I make it up and I hear Eight calling out to me and trying to describe but I can’t quite understand and so, I’ll call back down,
Kappa (as Rou): What was that, Eight? I can’t -
Kappa: And as I try to lean and cup my hand around my ear to hear better, I slip and tumble back down.
Kappa (as Rou): What was that, Eight? Wha-whoa!
[sounds of tumbling and rocks falling]
Wren (as Eight): Oh no! Friend Rou! Ooooh! Oh! Ah! [pause] No!
Wren: Watching Rou roll down back near me,
Wren (as Eight): Oh...
Kappa: I will use my advantage to not sustain any, any injuries physically. But perhaps my pride, I, sure.
Wren: Looking at Rou, my arms will just kind of go loose at my side and then I’ll just turn up to Arthas.
Wren (as Eight): Friend Arthas, what do you see?
Neil: Dax, what do I see?
Dax: So you get to the top of this rocky outcropping and it takes all of you, I assume that y’all are going to attempt to climb back up and you don’t have any issues this time around. You’ve gone up it once, now you know where the footholds and stuff are. And if I’m wrong on that, let me know. You get up to the top of this rocky outcropping and you go the couple of feet that you need to to be able to see on the other side.
When you peer over, you see what appears to be a very short Gnome but it doesn’t look like the Gnomes you’ve seen before. The skin is very dark green and mottled, and the ears are very long and they come to a point on each side of its head. And it’s bald. It’s kind of wearing, like, real dirty, scrappy clothing. It’s just sitting there rubbing the top of its head.
Neil (as Arthas): Are you the drummer?
Dax: The little thing starts looking to the left and to the right. Obviously very startled.
Dax (as the creature): [high-pitched, nasally voice] Who said that?
Neil (as Arthas): I am above you.
Dax: Looks up. And when it sees you, it nearly jumps a whole foot and then backs up so that it can kind of get all of you in view.
Dax (as the creature): Oh! Were you the one that threw the rock?
Neil (as Arthas): Threw is a very strong word.
Dax (as the creature): Well that was very rude of you.
Neil (as Arthas): You’re absolutely correct. Sorry about that.
Dax (as the creature): Well, why’d you throw it in the first place?
Neil (as Arthas): To see if it would stop the drumming.
Dax (as the creature): Why would throwing a rock stop our drumming?
Neil (as Arthas): Great question. That’s generally my go-to when I don’t know what to do.
Dax (as the creature): Is to throw a rock?
Neil (as Arthas): Yes.
Dax (as the creature): Never heard of such a thing.
Neil (as Arthas): You should try it. It works out frequently.
Dax: You watch as this creature looks around, finds, what to you, Arthas, would be the smallest pebble but for this creature takes up his entire hand. And you can see that the fingers are very long, almost out of proportion with the rest of its body. It picks up this rock and you watch as it just throws it across the field that’s on the other side of this outcropping.
Dax (as the creature): I don’t see how that solves problems, but I guess maybe I’m just not a… whatever you are.
Neil (as Arthas): Keep at it. Everything requires practice. But more importantly, who are you and what are you doing here?
Dax (as the creature): Well, my name is Griswold, and I.. I live here. What are you doing here? And who are you?
Neil (as Arthas): I am Arthas Boston Wapon Dynevy Marston Thurlow Lilford the Champion of Offam and Triumphant of Azarra. And I’m trying to find out how to stop that drumming.
Dax (as Griswold): Well, why would you want to stop the drumming?
Neil (as Arthas): It’s annoying.
Dax (as Griswold): To who? You?
Neil (as Arthas): Townsfolk.
Dax (as Griswold): What townsfolk?
Neil (as Arthas): Over that way.
Neil: And I point in the general direction as to where we came from.
Dax (as Griswold): Well, that’s uh, that’s kind of a problem for them then, isn’t it?
Neil (as Arthas): Yes. But they told us to fix it.
Dax: Creature scratches its head.
Dax (as Griswold): Well, if you wanna stop the drumming, you’re gonna have to see if our chief wants to do anything about it. You might as well come on down and come inside.
Neil (as Arthas): Okay.
Neil: I will relay this information to the party in as much detail as I possibly can.
Neil (as Arthas): Eight, there’s a little green man.
Wren (as Eight): Did you say a little green man?
Neil (as Arthas): A little green man.
Wren (as Eight): What does this little green man have to do with the drumming?
Neil (as Arthas): Well, his name is Griswold, and he said if we want to stop it, we have to talk to his chieftain.
Wren (as Eight): Oh!
Wren: I turn to Rou.
Wren (as Eight): It seems we have stumbled upon a small group of subterranean green men.
Kappa: Rou is going to pick himself up, dust himself off.
Kappa (as Rou): Oh yes, I, I heard. Okay, Eight. It’s fairly easy to get up there but make sure you don’t slip and fall at the top. It’s very easy. We should go, I want to see this Griswold. [imitating yelling] Arthas, we’re on our way up!
Wren: So I will follow Rou’s instructions as to the purported best hand and footholds and try and clamber back up.
Neil: And I will wait for them.
Kappa: Seeing as Eight was unsuccessful, Rou will point out the footholds on the way up.
Dax: Not a problem. You’re able to scramble up a little easier this time around, both of you. So you get to the edge of the outcropping and Arthas, you would have seen this. Well, you probably wouldn’t have seen this actually, because you would have turned around to yell at the party. When you turn back around, and when Eight and Rou get to the edge of the outcropping, you don’t see a little green man.
Neil (as Arthas): Oh no.
Kappa (as Rou): Did Griswold leave?
Neil (as Arthas): I assume he did.
Kappa: Do I see footsteps?
Dax: You don’t see footsteps but the three of you hear,
Dax (as Griswold): Are you guys coming or what?
Kappa (as Rou): Oh!
Neil (as Arthas): That’s Griswold.
Kappa (as Rou): That’s Griswold, okay. I was expecting, why, I don’t understand why I was expecting a much lower voice. [imitating yelling] Yes, we are on our way.
Dax (as Griswold): Are you off the outcropping?
Kappa (as Rou): Don’t, I don’t see you… No, we should probably, we should probably get off the outcropping.
Kappa: I’m going to follow the voice.
Neil: Same. I get off the outcropping to follow said voice.
Wren: Is it to get off of the outcropping? You said it was a sheer drop earlier, so do we have to do free hand rock climbing or…?
Dax: Well, from, from where you were on the other side of the outcropping, it would have looked like a sheer drop.
Wren: Mhmm.
Dax: Once you’re at edge, it kind of is, is a not really gentle slope, but it’s, it’s sloped enough where you would be able to clamber down.
Wren: Okay. I will start going down. I’ll just be saying,
Wren (as Eight): I’m very uncomfortable with the incline of this, this slope. I had a hard time coming up and I can’t imagine going down will be any easier.
[sounds of gravel being stepped on, rocks rolling]
Wren: And I just, I’m imagining that I’m stepping and the dirt and debris is just kind of loose, so I might slide a little bit every now and then. Like, my feet just sloughing through and the pebbles and everything just moving in a little, not avalanche, just rolling down around me.
Dax: Yeah, everybody can hear the sound of pebbles and loose rocks clamoring against the side of the outcropping. Which, funnily enough, I say outcropping. But you get to the bottom and you realize that what stands before you is the opening to a cave.
Neil: How big is the cave?
Dax: The opening is big enough, not for you to stand up Arthas, but if you were like gently hunched, you could probably get there.
Neil: I will gently hunch and enter.
Dax: And in what order do Rou and Eight follow? [chuckles]
Kappa: I feel like I am doing the same thing that Eight is, but seeing as Eight has already pointed out, I am descending down the hill, like sort of sideways. You know, one leg out, and then the other follows. And, once, once down there, looked back up at Eight.
[sounds of rocks rolling]
Kappa (as Rou): Oh you’re fine, Eight.
Wren (as Eight): Yes. This is actually quite fun. Oh look, a cave!
Kappa (as Rou): But, in case you do slip, I’m here to catch you. Yes.
Wren (as Eight): Oh, like a trust fall exercise.
Kappa (as Rou): Yes, but don’t, don’t do it on purpose. I’d rather, rather not resort to that.
Wren (as Eight): Of course.
Kappa (as Rou): So, so hello. Hello, Griswold. Griswold, yeah?
Dax: You hear a voice from inside the cave.
Dax (as Griswold): Yeah, that’s me.
Kappa (as Rou): Okay! Just making sure we haven’t lost you, this is the way to go. Entering caves is generally something to be worried about.
Dax (as Griswold): Well, maybe for you.
Wren (as Eight): Simply Arthas loves caves. Look, he’s already entered.
Kappa (as Rou): Oh, okay fine.
Kappa: I’m going in.
Neil (as Arthas): I do love caves.
Dax: Quick point of order, because I forgot to ask. Eight, would you have left Bessie and the cart in the care of the villagers? Or would you have brought Bessie at the very least to the one side of the outcropping and left her on the other side?
Wren: I completely forgot about Bessie, quite frankly.
Dax: That’s fine. And I say cart because you would have gotten a cart and supplies as promised from the council members of Kidohlva.
Wren: Right. I probably would have left that at Springpoint.
Dax: Okay.
Wren: Under the care of Mayor Fry.
Dax: So y’all go into this cave. And at first you’ve got some natural light seeping in from outside. You can see the rocks, you can see some of the lichen. As you go further in, Arthas it does get a little bit more cramped for you. You, you do have to hunch a little bit lower to get through some of the tunnels. It does become very dark. You continue to follow the tunnels and you can feel the ground starting to slope beneath your feet. Feel yourself going lower and lower. Maybe about twenty or thirty minutes go by before everything opens and you find yourselves in a vast cavern.
This whole time you’ve been hearing the drums and it’s been getting louder and louder. It’s been echoing over the rocks and when you enter this cavern, you see a good dozen of these little green folk, drumming. You watch as some are doing a very consistent beat and then when they stop, another group starts another consistent beat, but this time at a faster tempo. You watch as different little groups are trading off in drumming. And it’s almost a deafening cacophony in this cavern as the acoustics are amplifying the sound. At the far end of the cavern, on what appears to be a stone makeshift throne, is another green humanoid like creature, but this one seems to be much larger than those doing the drumming and much larger than little Griswold who now stands in front of you.
Music shifts to an ominous melody [17:18]
Wren: Is there like torchlight or campfires or like what’s, what’s the light situation here?
Dax: So, there are a couple torches around the walls, there are two large, almost bonfires in the center but like, kind of off center. So there’s one on each half of the cavern. And you can also see that on the walls, there are a couple different tunnels that lead to what might be deeper in the caves.
Wren: As we were walking, I would have pulled out my lantern because you can’t walk in the dark. Because none of us can see in the dark.
Dax: When the three of you exit the tunnel and Arthas, you’re, it’s tall enough that you’re actually able to stand up in full. You see that large green creature holds up a single hand and all the drumming stops. And every single one of those beady little eyes turns and looks at you.
Wren (as Eight): Oh! The villagers will be ever so pleased now that the drumming has ceased.
Neil (as Arthas): Mission accomplished.
Kappa (as Rou): Our work here is done.
Dax: Oh my god! [laughs]
Wren: Quick, hang the banner in the background. Mission accomplished.
[Kappa laughs]
Dax: Oh my god. That was perfect. The creature upon the throne, you watch as it tilts its head to the right and to the left. As if it’s trying to get a good sight on the three of you. It extends out its hands and one by one curls its fingers in, beckoning you towards it.
Wren (as Eight): Friends, I think the one mounted on that throne would like to see us closer.
Kappa (as Rou): Yes, I think I got that. I’m just, I’m not sure if I want to do that. One step at a time.
Neil: I approach the Goblin.
Kappa: I will approach, right behind Arthas and by right behind Arthas, I mean so that Arthas’s entire silhouette covers my own in relation to this Goblin.
Wren: I will follow at the back, my lantern held slightly off to the side so as to not shine at anyone in the face.
Dax: As the three of you get closer, you start to hear shifting and moving. You can see that these little green creatures are leaving their drums and folding in behind you, following you towards the throne. When you get to the front, the big one puts both hands on either armrest and opens up its mouth into this, what you could assume is a smile. But you immediately see that it is full of sharp, pointed teeth. You watch as saliva drips.
Dax (as Blisternose): [deeper, raspy, sharp voice] So, you have entered our realm. What do you want?
Neil (as Arthas): Hello. Could you tone down the drumming? It’s making the people in the village tetchy.
Dax (as Blisternose): Why should I care about what some humans want?
Neil (as Arthas): They asked very nicely.
Dax (as Blisternose): Did they ask us? No!
Kappa (as Rou): Asked you, asked you what?
Dax: A very long finger points at Arthas.
Dax (as Blisternose): This one, says humans asked nicely. And I said, they did not ask us. You are the first human I have seen in a long time.
Kappa (as Rou): I see. Well, that explains it. There seems to be a bit of a lapse in communication here. Your drumming, it’s very lovely, it’s also very loud, has deprived a nearby village of sleep for as long as you’ve been doing it. Now, I don’t know how important sleep is to all of you here, but I’d imagine you’d be very cranky. Perhaps you, we can work out a schedule. How important is the drumming?
Dax: The creature looks around the room.
Dax (as Blisternose): This drumming is part of our daily lives. I do not ask you to stop breathing. Why would you ask us to stop doing this?
Wren: I pipe up.
Wren (as Eight): Will you die if the drumming ceases?
Dax (as Blisternose): It keeps the bad spirits away.
Wren (as Eight): Bad spirits, as in it keeps you happy?
Dax: The creature raises a single eyebrow.
Wren (as Eight): Yes?
Dax: And just glares at you, Eight.
Wren (as Eight): I, I don’t understand. You… they look angry. I thought the drumming kept them happy.
Dax (as Blisternose): You are certainly one who has never been haunted by spirits.
Kappa (as Rou): Are they malevolent spirits? Do they seek to do harm?
Dax (as Blisternose): Yes.
Kappa (as Rou): Oh! Okay, okay. Hold on. Excuse me one second.
Kappa: Turn to Arthas and Eight.
Kappa (as Rou): What if we just got rid of the spirits? That would take away the need for the drumming, everyone’s happy.
Wren (as Eight): Oh! Spirits! Like, apparitions. Ghosts. Superstitions and portents. I see.
Neil (as Arthas): Are they tangible?
Kappa (as Rou): As far as I know, most spirits are incorporeal, so probably not. But you could try?
Wren (as Eight): I have never met a ghost before. Or a spirit, for that matter. I’m not sure what goes into driving them away, but perhaps it is something that we can accomplish and we can satisfy two parties in one! Rou, this really is an excellent idea. You are a real problem solver.
Kappa (as Rou): Thank you. Okay. Let’s present this to the one on the throne. Three, two, one, break. Okay! So, what if we got rid of these spirits that plague you so? Would you stop drumming then? Would that, would that be okay?
Dax: The creature, you watch as it starts to scowl. It leans forward a little bit in its throne, in its chair.
Dax (as Blisternose): I would prefer if you would keep your noses out of our business.
Kappa (as Rou): I understand, and I hear you. But, if this persists, the drumming. I’m not, this is not a threat. I’m just laying out what’s probably going to happen here. The townsfolk that are nearby, to the southwest, they will get fed up and they will come here and maybe, not saying that this is, not saying that this is a fact for sure, but maybe they might seek to end the drumming forcibly. Without some sort of compromise or solution to your whole issue. Again, not a threat!
Kappa: As I look around and seeing we’re surrounded by little green men.
Kappa (as Rou): Not a threat! Just merely an educated guess about what is going to happen as an alternative to, what is going to happen if we just leave here and you continue your drumming.
Dax: Rou, give me a Negotiation check, Easy difficulty. Give it to me with a Setback please.
[dice rolls]
Kappa: Just one Success.
Dax (as Griswold): You know, Blisternose, this is not a bad idea.
Dax: You hear from Griswold.
Kappa (as Rou): Yes! Listen to that one, listen to Griswold! Blisternose.
Dax (as another Goblin): [high-pitched, femme voice] Yeah, I mean, it’s getting a little hard to do drumming every day. We’ve been going for a week solid and, you know…
Kappa (as Rou): Exactly! Yes! Thank you!
Dax (as a third Goblin): [drawling, nasally, slurring voice] Well, what about listening to them, Blisternose? I mean, you know, we’ve never done drumming before and there were never any issues with spirits.
Kappa (as Rou): There were never any issues with spirits before the drumming.
Kappa: As I nod my head.
Dax: More of these little green folk start to pipe in, and they’re starting to get louder as they’re all joining in and starting to talk over each other. You can hear bits and pieces of conversation, of them saying like, ‘Yeah, I, I didn’t have any problems before until Blisternose came into power and now all of a sudden.’ Blah blah.
And this keeps going and going. If you’re watching Blisternose, as the conversation keeps going, as the whole argument is beginning to become raucous, you watch as Blisternose’s fingers are curling in on the armrest. You watch as stone is starting to crunch underneath his fingers. You watch as the scowl is getting deeper, his fangs are starting to become more exposed. Until finally, he yells,
Dax (as Blisternose): Enough!
Kappa (as Rou): No need to be rude about it.
Dax (as Blisternose): You are the ones being rude, coming in and ruining everything!
Dax: You watch as he starts to hunch over, the muscles in his arms start to bulge out. You watch as green spikes grow out of his back. You watch as his eyes slowly turn to a bloody shade of red. And that’s where we’re going to end the session.
Music fades out [28:33]
Dax: Thanks for listening! We hope you’ll join us next time but in the interim, follow us on Twitter @RoadsUncharted.
The “Roads Uncharted” podcast is GMed and produced by Dax, who you can find on Twitter @GM_Dax. We use the Genesys RPG system published by Fantasy Flight Games, and music licensed by Epidemic Sound.
Arthas, Champion of Offam, is played by Neil.
Eight is played by Wren, who also composed the music for our opening theme. Follow them on Twitter @ThornyDryad.
Rou is played by Kappa, and you can follow him on Twitter @TheKappaChris.