A final conversation with Arcterus leaves Rou and Eight with some bittersweet news.
Rou and Eight head to the dungeons to visit Arcterus, bringing with them a treat for him to enjoy. They are able to ask him about the transporter that he stole and his memories surrounding his death. Although his answers weren’t as helpful as the pair anticipated, he is able to point Eight toward a person that could help them hone their magic skills.
They later find Arcterus’s old office, which is now in possession of the university’s newest member, Professor Blossom. As Eight distracts him, Rou is able to search the desk and locates a velvet pouch hidden within.
Follow Dax @GM_Dax, Kappa @TheKappaChris, and Wren @ThornyDryad
Transcript by Wren
Upbeat piano intro music ends [00:27]
Soft and mysterious piano music begins [00:29]
Kappa (as Rou): Hello, this is Rou and you're listening to Roads Uncharted. Last time on Roads Uncharted, we wanted to talk to our friend Arcterus. But apparently there's a lot of bureaucracy in the way. So, we needed to speak to some sort of Council of Kidohlva. There are six elves and they asked us a bunch of questions. Not shying away from authority, Eight and I answered their questions, had a slight discussion and then gained access to Arcterus, which we are headed there now. We also gained a favor and a bit of a heading for after Kidohlva, so, that's great news. Stay tuned to see how we figured this one out.
Dax: Eight and Rou, you are being led down some stone stairs toward the dungeon. You are being escorted by two guards. One in the front and one in the back. What did you decide to pick up to bring to Arcterus? Did you get a cupcake, did you get a donut hole, did you get a small cheesecake? Tell me what you ended up picking up.
Kappa: I would have wanted to pick something up that was invented in the last 100 years, but small. If red velvet was invented after he got trapped in that wall, I'd want to pick it up. Or matcha. Or something. Or like a mochi donut! I don't know, you pick something. You're the one with the food descriptions.
Wren: Mhmm, give us a modern take on classic food.
Dax: So, you ended up going to a bakery that was pretty close to the Council Chambers and the little old man was selling what he called “Cake Orbs”. These little round balls of cake on sticks that were dipped in chocolate or in some sort of frosting and then further decorated with little candies or what have you, depending on what you picked up. Some were decorated with pieces of cookies and what not. When you asked “what would have been invented in the last 100 years”, that is what he proudly showcased to you.
Kappa: Perfect, we'll get some of those.
Dax: You get to the bottom of the stairwell. The guard in front of you opens up the door, allows you to get in and then locks the door behind the four of you. He leads you down another couple of hallways and then stops and turns to you and says,
Dax (as guard one): [deeper masc voice, British accent] If you just go through this door, there will be a little waiting chamber and your friend's cell will be on the other side. Just knock twice when you are ready to leave.
Kappa (as Rou): Perfect. And you'll be coming with us? We were told that this needed to be supervised. Or are you standing on the other side of the door and that's the supervision?
Dax: He squints his eyes a little bit, like he's trying to figure out “is this guy being serious?”
Kappa (as Rou): Listen, I don't want to get in trouble. I want the record to show to the Council that I asked this question, if we are ever on trial.
Dax (as guard one): I was planning to stand outside the door. I can clearly see that you're not carrying anything other than cake orbs.
Kappa (as Rou): Would you like one?
Dax (as guard one): No thank you.
Kappa (as Rou): Why not?
Dax (as guard one): I don't really do sweets and those tend to be very sweet.
Dax (as guard two): [British accent, deeper masc, slightly slower tone]I'll take one.
Kappa (as Rou): Oh good.
Dax: Says the other guard.
Kappa (as Rou): There you go.
Dax (as guard two): Thank you.
Dax (as guard one): We aren't supposed to eat when we're on duty.
Dax (as guard two): Oh, can I, just...
Dax: You watch as the other guard sticks it in his pocket.
Kappa: I give a thumbs up and a bit of a smile.
Kappa (as Rou): [whispers] For lunch!
Dax: The first guard opens the door and on the inside you can see that it's a stone room with a set of iron bars dividing it.
Kappa: I guess we walk in.
Wren: Traipse along behind Rou.
Dax: There's a small wooden bench on one side and on the other side you can see, is the cell.
Kappa (as Rou): Hello! Arcterus, are you here? It's your friends, Eight and Rou!
Music shifts to a whimsical melody [4:43]
Dax (as Arcterus): Oh! Oh, yes. Yes! Hello!
Dax: You hear from one corner of the room.
Wren (as Eight): Look!
Wren: And I will pat Rou's shoulder with a hand.
Wren (as Eight): Look, it's our good friend, Arcterus. He's in the corner.
Dax (as Arcterus): This is kind of where they placed me.
Wren (as Eight): You sound disappointed. Would you – would you care for a different vantage point?
Dax (as Arcterus): Well…
Kappa (as Rou): At least they didn't face you toward the corner.
Wren (as Eight): That’s true.
Dax (as Arcterus): Yes, that's true. No, I'm fine. I can see everything from here. It's just, you know, it's so far from the door. It's not like my hearing is diminished, I can hear you just fine, so.
Kappa (as Rou): Oh, perfect. We just want to see how you're doing. We were told that your fate has been decided and you are awaiting it! It was very, very dramatic.
Dax (as Arcterus): Eh, you went to go see the Council, didn't you?
Kappa (as Rou): Well, we went to go see you and we were referred to the Council!
Wren (as Eight): We had no say in the matter.
Dax (as Arcterus): They like to make everything sound so official.
Kappa (as Rou): I got that, yes. So, we just wanted to check in on you and say “hello”. See how you were doing and how you were feeling about your fate. And maybe to bring you some treats.
Dax (as Arcterus): What...what did you bring?
Kappa (as Rou): So, they are these things called “Cake Orbs”. They were invented after your time. After you were stuck in the wall. So, we wanted to bring you something new that you could, perhaps, enjoy. I remembered you like cheese and wine. Perhaps a baked good might be a nice change of pace.
Dax: You start to hear the sound of bone clacking against stone. And ever so slowly, Arcterus' skull starts getting a little closer, kind of following down on this stone bench until he's at the end of said bench, just a couple feet away from the iron bars. But at least now you can see this skull.
Kappa (as Rou): Oh, okay. Okay. So, yes, would you like to eat first or did you want to have the chat? I imagine we're going to have to throw past the bars. The guards did not give us a key to enter, so.
Dax (as Arcterus): Yeah, no. I'm not surprised. Here. Let - Ahhh!
Dax: And you see this skull just open up.
Kappa: I'm going to tear a bit off of one cake orb and try to toss it in.
Dax: Give me a Coordination check. [chuckles]
Kappa: Coordination check! I knew it! I knew it!
Dax: Go ahead and make it a – eh, make it Easy.
[Dice rolling sounds]
Kappa: Two Advantage and one Threat.[chuckles] There you go.
Dax: This piece of cake orb goes flying and actually ends up flying through Arcterus' eyeball.
Dax (as Arcterus): I think you missed!
Kappa (as Rou): Okay. This is why I got a bunch of these.
Kappa: And I'll try again.
Dax: Go ahead and give yourself a Boost this time.
[Dice rolling sounds]
Kappa: Okay, there you go. Success and one Advantage.
Dax: Now, you do have some Advantages from your last roll. Is there anything you'd like to use them for?
Kappa: I want to be able to have the more clandestine parts of our conversation unheard, if that's cool. Not necessarily unheard, but -
Dax: So perhaps -
Kappa: Like Arcterus understands that they're listening to us.
Dax: Uh huh, uh huh, so what about...
Kappa: I don't know if that's within Advantage territory or if it's closer to something like a Triumph.
Dax: What you can do is add a Setback to the guards.
Kappa: Yeah, I'll do that.
Dax: Yeah, so, alright. When I go to make a Perception check, while you talk I'll add a Setback.
Wren: As I stand holding, like, the tray of the cake orbs assisting Rou with feeding Arcterus, I stop for a moment and I simply say,
Wren (as Eight): Oh, wait! I just had an idea.
Wren: And I'll put the tray down on the ground, I guess?
Dax: There's a wooden bench, so.
Wren: Okay, I will set it down on the wooden bench and I will pop my spoon out and hold it. I will look to Rou and say,
Wren (as Eight): In order to maximize Arcterus' enjoyment of the cake orb, I believe a little magic might be in order!
Wren: And I will hold out my palm and I will take the spoon and I would like to summon a tiny little stone golem as an ally to literally pick up the cake pop and, like, climb up and feed, over and over, Arcterus, these cake orbs.
Dax: Sure.
Wren: It's just going to be an ally. I'm not going to change its size because it literally can just be a silhouette 0 monster. Any other nonsense you'd like to throw at me?
Dax: Nope, nope. You're good.
[Dice rolling sounds]
Wren: Alright, I've got – nice. Three Success and, eh, one Threat afterwards. For the Threat, perhaps...
Dax: It emits a high-pitched whining noise.
[Kappa laughs]
Wren: It does?
Dax: Mhmm.
Wren: It clacks together like marbles in your hand. But, basically, I hold out my hand and swirl the spoon.
Kappa: [whispering] Yes!
Wren: And I mutter to myself,
Wren (as Eight): Let's rock this feeding exercise and make this stony-faced skull pleased!
Wren: And as I'm swirling the air, the air does a mini tornado in my hand. The loose stones and gravel and dirt on the floor around us swirls and goes up around us in a little funnel – wind funnel – into my hand and coalesces into a very small dust devil slash stone pebble golem. And as I'm holding it, it has got a vague humanoid shape with lopsided arms and tiny little feet. And I just look at it and say,
Wren (as Eight): Ah, yes! A new friend! Rou, please say hello to cake friend!
Kappa (as Rou): Hello, cake friend!
Wren (as Eight): Cake friend, you have been made for one very specific purpose: serve that skull cake over and over. Do you understand?
Dax (as cake friend): Eeee!
Wren (as Eight): Perfect.
Wren: I will hold my palm to the wooden bench and say,
Wren (as Eight): Grab one of the cake orbs and you will feed it to...
Wren: And I motion my hand after cake friend gets off of my palm.
Wren (as Eight): This skull. Just put it in the mouth, slide it out from under and put it back in over and over!
Wren: And I will let cake friend go to work.
Dax: Cake friend grabs the cake orb, carrying the stick almost as if it was carrying a hammer over it's shoulder, walks up to Arcterus and shoves the cake orb into Arcterus' mouth. And before Arcterus' can actually clomp down, lifts the skull and pulls the cake orb out from underneath and just keeps doing that.
Kappa (as Rou): Good
Wren (as Eight): Ah, perfect. Now you can enjoy the cake orb without the fear of attracting rodents or other vermin.
Dax (as Arcterus): Yes – I – I – Eight – I think it – I think – can I –
Wren (as Eight): Cake friend, cake friend, can you perhaps slow your roll, about ten times slower?
Dax: Cake friend pulls out the cake orb, stops, waits for Arcterus to open his mouth and very slowly starts to put the cake orb into Arcterus' mouth.
Wren (as Eight): This is good.
Kappa (as Rou): You have to be very exact with your instructions.
Wren (as Eight): It seems so.
Kappa (as Rou): I can see why magic is so very studied and measured.
Wren (as Eight): I just kind of make it up as I go along.
Dax (as Arcterus): So, you two just came down to see what I was up to?
Wren (as Eight): Well, we did want to say “hello” to you at least once more before we leave. But we would be remiss to not tell you that our motives also included asking you at least two questions.
Dax (as Arcterus): Uh huh, what is on this? It tastes almost caramelly but it's not. What is it?
Kappa (as Rou): They didn't say. They gave me a variety box. There's no slip in it that describes what each one is. This one was green. The one that you are currently eating. It looks like a various assortment of browns.
Dax (as Arcterus): Well, sometimes variety is the spice of life and ignorance is bliss.
Kappa: Is there another one like it in the box?
Dax: Yeah, I'll say that you got two of each.
Kappa: Okay. I'll take a bite into that one.
Dax: So, picture the spice of a carrot cake, but it's topped with this frosting that almost tastes like caramel but it has that background note of white chocolate.
Kappa: Mmm. Okay. I will describe that to Arcterus and just kind of,
Kappa (as Rou): It's like an elevated carrot cake.
Dax (as Arcterus): Ah!
Kappa (as Rou): The frosting is...you're right! It's caramel. But my palette is not so refined as to pick out what's different about this caramel.
Dax (as Arcterus): It's delicious. So, yes, questions?
Wren (as Eight): Well...
Wren: And I will sit down on the bench next to the bars.
Wren (as Eight): We wanted to ask for some details about the teleporter that you had stolen. What it looked like, what it did when you utilized its power. Descriptions of sights, smells, effects, these details might prove very useful to us. And seeing as you are the only person in the history of ever who has made use of the object, you are quite simply the only person we can ask for this information.
Dax (as Arcterus): Well, it was a cube with a rune on each face. I don't really remember a smell. The only smell I can remember distinctly was the smell of dust and stone. But I imagine that was probably from my collision with the wall. Let's see...sights, sights, sights.. I remember pressing on one of the runes and the rest of them lit up. And then I remember my hair standing up as if I was caught in a lightning storm. And then the next thing I knew I was trapped in the wall.
Dax: And the skull just sits there.
Wren (as Eight): You said a lightning storm... did you see electricity? Was there an effect of that nature?
Wren: And I'm leaning forward, gripping the bars now, looking at Arcterus.
Dax (as Arcterus): I don't remember.
Wren (as Eight): Unfortunate.
Dax (as Arcterus): I don't think I used it properly. I feel like, if I had, I wouldn't have...you know.
Kappa (as Rou): Gotten yourself stuck in a wall?
Dax (as Arcterus): Yeah.
Kappa (as Rou): Have your body perish, but your soul persist?
Dax (as Arcterus): Yeah.
Kappa (as Rou): Do you think that was related to the artifact? And not a separate phenomenon?
Dax (as Arcterus): Yeah, which is the weirdest part. Nobody seems to know how that happened. More cake, please, cake friend.
Dax: And you hear the clattering again.
Kappa (as Rou): Cake friend, here. Give him this one. It is one that is green with – what I've grown to imagine, some sort of lemon frosting, because matcha and lemon goes well together.
Dax (as Arcterus): This is interesting.
Wren: I think cake friend would put the one pop in Arcterus' mouth and then just leave it and then grab the other one and start putting that one in, too.
Kappa: I'll look over to Eight.
Kappa (as Rou): So it doesn't seem more or less likely that the artifact that Arcterus used was involved.
Wren: I'll slump back, my metal frame and my shoulders resting against the wall behind me.
Wren (as Eight): [sighs] It would seem so. If only there was some way that we could divine where this relic has wound up. I would need to test to see the effects, myself.
Kappa (as Rou): To answer your question, Arcterus, the reason why we're in Kidohlva...I mean, we told you we were researching stuff. And seeing as you are about to meet your fate, I see no harm in telling you. Wouldn't you agree, Eight?
Wren (as Eight): I would not.
Kappa (as Rou): Would not tell him? Or -
Wren (as Eight): Would not see the harm.
Kappa (as Rou): Ah, there we go.
Wren (as Eight): After all, Arcterus will soon meet his fate.
Kappa (as Rou): So, we're here in Kidohlva because we're researching a phenomenon that happened over in Saleen. Right, Eight? A large amount of children disappeared. For no explicable reason. And the reason we ask you about the lightning was because we have evidence to believe that lightning was involved. Or, at least, a by-product of the effect.
Dax (as Arcterus): Wait, involved in what?
Kappa (as Rou): And so, the reason that Eight here is slightly disappointed, is because there is no confirmation that your artifact and the phenomenon that disappeared all of those children are related. But that doesn't necessarily mean that it's any less related. It just means...
Kappa: And this is more directed at Eight than Arcterus.
Kappa (as Rou): This doesn't mean that we failed. It just means that our journey continues, as it would have in any other situation.
Wren: I will nod slightly.
Wren (as Eight): Yes. It's just that every step we come to a solution, it seems that there is a wall standing between us and success.
Kappa (as Rou): Or, in this case, a set of bars and Arcterus' next cake-pop.
Dax (as Arcterus): Eight, Rou, have either of you spent any time visiting any of the Professors here?
Kappa (as Rou): I did sit in one lecture this morning. It was fascinating! Honestly, we need more of their sort of education.
Dax (as Arcterus): I don't know if they're still around, but there was a Professor here when I was here called Professor Trela. They used to teach divination. Eight, if that is something you might be able to learn, it might not be a bad idea.
Kappa (as Rou): Professor Trela.
Wren (as Eight): I suppose it could not hurt. One of my last traveling companions was proficient in premonitions or divinations of a sort. Though, theirs was more of a divine gift than a studied magic. Perhaps it would serve our group well to have it at our disposal again. If at the very least to attempt to find leads when we hit a wall, so to say.
Wren: I will look to Arcterus.
Wren (as Eight): I will search out this Professor Trela and see if, before we leave, I might be able to master some of the basics of this particular type of magic. I appreciate your assistance and suggestion.
Dax (as Arcterus): Thank you for the cake orbs! One good turn deserves another, right?
Kappa (as Rou): I'm very inclined to agree. We do have a few more days before we absolutely need to leave Kidohlva. We'll see if this Professor of divination is still around. And if they were replaced, we'll figure something else out. Speaking of Professors that used to be at this university...you were one of those. You alluded, to me, that there might be something of interest in your old office.
Dax (as Arcterus): You still haven't gotten to go check that out?
Kappa (as Rou): No. Absolutely not.
Dax (as Arcterus): Yeah, in my desk there's a false bottom in one of the drawers.
Kappa (as Rou): Where is your office?
Dax (as Arcterus): It was in the basement level of the university, just three doors down from Professor...oh, what was their name? Professor Headstrom.
Kappa (as Rou): Professor Headstrom. Okay. Do you think they're still around? Are they one of those Elves that lives forever?
Dax (as Arcterus): Headstrom was...Headstrom might not be around anymore. They were a Tiefling. I'm sure if you asked to go to the basement level offices...I don’t know, pretend you're a student or something. I can't imagine that security has gotten more complicated since I left. So, I'm sure you can act like you're going to see a Professor down there. You can figure it out.
Kappa (as Rou): Plus, we're very charming.
Dax (as Arcterus): Uh huh.
Kappa (as Rou): The contents of this false bottom, you said, might be of interest and, I'm fully aware – I am fully anticipating finding out, once discovered, but are we talking dangerous? Or just interesting? Not many people have false bottoms in drawers and other clandestine things if it wasn't some sort of taboo or danger.
Dax (as Arcterus): The contents hidden in my desk, might be able to get you an appropriate reward for assisting me. And that's all I can say.
Kappa: I squint my eyes and start nodding.
Kappa (as Rou): That's all you can say? Hmm, okay. Well, other than that sort of business...we just wanted to see how you are feeling! Our conversation with the Council told us that your soul has been trapped on this plane and you are being released as if it's some sort of vacation.
Wren (as Eight): Or a mercy, of sorts.
Kappa (as Rou): They made it very clear that this is not an execution. But I’m worried this might just be their way of accepting the consequences of their decision. Just a way for them to be able to sleep at night. How are you feeling about it?
Dax (as Arcterus): I went in. I attested to what happened. I filled in some of the gaps from what they gathered in the investigation all those years ago. And then they decreed that what I went through as a result of my actions was punishment enough. It took a few days, but they were able to find somebody who has the knowledge to...
Dax: The skull stops clapping for a second.
Dax (as Arcterus): Fix this? I don't want to be a skull for the rest of my life.
Kappa (as Rou): Well, then that's good.
Dax (as Arcterus): It's a little boring. Can't eat anything.
Kappa (as Rou): Theyhave been feeding you, though, right?
Dax (as Arcterus): Mhmm.
Kappa (as Rou): I told a guard that you should be fed.
Dax (as Arcterus): They've been giving me cheese.
Kappa (as Rou): That's right, I did say that you liked cheese.
Dax (as Arcterus): And bread. I got bread the other day.
Wren (as Eight): Oh, good. It seems that we will not need to have a discussion with the warden.
Music shifts to a melancholy tune [26:37]
Kappa (as Rou): Well, Arcterus, I'm very glad that you are finding release and that this is a welcome change.
Dax (as Arcterus): Yeah, me too. Maybe, uh, maybe say a prayer to Baradesh on my behalf. [Sighs] You never really think about what you regret while you're living, huh? Then when death is upon you, you start to wonder, did I make the right choices? [pauses] Stop, stop, stop, stop!
Dax: And at this point, you see that cake friend is now shoving a cake orb into Arcterus' face because Arcterus has stopped opening his mouth for the cake pops.
Wren (as Eight): Cake friend, it's okay, you can stop for the time being. Arcterus, I think it's only natural for people to second-guess themselves. Especially at this stage in their lives. I suppose I do not entirely understand what you are going through, but, know that you have at least made some friends in the last few weeks. And I believe that at your core, you are a good person. Especially in that you have done your best to help us in your time you've had remaining. I will miss you.
Dax (as Arcterus): Well, thank you, Eight.
Wren (as Eight): If only because you would have existed for a s long as I will, assuming I will live forever. Though, I honestly do not know how long I will exist. It would have been nice to have a conversation companion in the years to come.
Dax (as Arcterus): Well, I wish you luck with that, Eight.
Kappa: I'm going to pop a cake orb into my mouth.
Dax: Do you bite it or just stick the whole thing in there?
Kappa: I'm going to chew it very slowly. Oh, are you asking do I bite half of it? The whole thing is in there and is being chewed very slowly. Very deliberately.
Dax: Okay. So, you don't have to say anything. Very smart.
Wren (as Eight): I hope you find the peace you're looking for. Cake friend, would you like to continue having cake orbs, or would you prefer us to dismiss cake friend?
Dax (as cake friend): Eeeeeh!
Dax (as Arcterus): I mean, yeah, cake friend can stay. I can have somebody to talk to for the next 24 hours.
Kappa (as Rou): There are, like, six other flavors in here.
Kappa: I will put the cake stuff onto the floor.
Wren (as Eight): Cake friend, you will do as Arcterus requests you to do, when it comes to cake orbs.
Dax (as cake friend): Eeeeh!
Wren: And I will leave cake friend to tend to Arcterus.
Dax: When you got to leave the room, the guards escort you back up the stairs and as they leave you to go off and do your thing, the one guard who had hidden the cake orb in his pocket leans over to you and says,
Dax (as guard two): Don't worry I won't tell the Council about what you said about wanting to know about the transporter.
Kappa (as Rou): Thank you. Thank you very much. There's a whole box of cake orbs, if you'd like one. Yeah, if you'd like another later.
Dax (as guard two): Okay.
Dax: So, I guess the question is are you going directly to the basement of the university?
Kappa: I'd like to.
Music shifts to mysterious guitar [30:34]
Dax: Alright. Rou, you've gone to the university several times over the week. In some such that the group of you have been here, you've gotten enough of an understanding of how the layout works that finding the entryway to the basement levels isn't hard.
You head down there. It's pretty deserted. Picture that one room in every college campus in that one building that has the least majors in it, so there's a lot less traffic. Everything, yeah, seems kind of, very clean. There's no cobwebs or anything, but you can tell that it's not very well-used. It doesn't have that scent of… people.
Kappa: Yeah, and I imagine it would be pretty easy to just say,
Kappa (as Rou): Hello, I'm a first year here. I have new lecture, new office hours with some Professor over in the basement.
Dax: Yeah.
Kappa (as Rou): Can you point me in the right direction?
Dax: Easy enough.
Kappa: And all of the university students have a weird name for it too, like, the “Dark Hall”, or something. It's not necessarily dark, it's just because it's new.
Dax: Oh yeah, definitely.
Kappa: No man's land or something.
Dax: I like “Dark Hall”. That works.
Kappa: Okay.
Dax: Yeah, you're able to get to the basement and you do find a couple of students that are able to lead you kind of at least in the direction where Professor Headstrom's office is. Professor Headstrom is still around and it turns out he's a Professor of some sort of arcanum and has been doing a little unorthodox research, by the sound of some of the hints that the students are talking about and has been able to last a hundred years. Or, at least, that's what they claim, who knows? Kids say the weirdest -
Kappa: It's a rumor?
Dax: Yeah, who knows? You manage to get to the office of Professor Headstrom. There's a door with a glass window pane and it's etched in there. And there are about, hmm, almost a half a dozen other doors surrounding that one, to choose from.
Kappa (as Rou): So Headstrom's office is that one. And, assuming that Headstrom has not moved offices in the last 100 years, Arcterus said it's three doors down from there. So let's just go there, three doors down.
Kappa: Is there some sort of name plate or something on the door, three doors down, from Headstrom's office?
Dax: So, three doors down, you actually come to a door that has a very fresh door attached to it. You can see that it's very brightly stained. The engraving on the door seems to be relatively new, that says Professor Blossom.
Kappa (as Rou): Professor Blossom. I wonder if they are into botany.
Kappa: I will knock on the door. [pauses] Hold on, Foley.
[knocking sounds]
Dax: You hear some rustling beyond the door, sounds like books dropping and somebody cursing. And when the door opens, you are face to face with somebody that doesn't look much older than the students you've been dealing with. Seems to be a young, human male with round glasses, an unruly mop of black hair and some mocha skin, standing there. Very scrawny. Very nervous looking.
Dax (as young male): Yes, hi, can I help you?
Kappa (as Rou): Hello! Hi, hello. Are you.. are you Professor Blossom or are you some sort of TA?
Dax (as young male): Oh, no.
Dax: He pushes up his glasses.
Dax (as Professor Blossom): I’m the Professor.
Kappa (as Rou): Ah! Well, good to meet you. We're here, me and my friend here. I'm Rou, this is Eight.
Dax (as Professor Blossom): Hello.
Kappa (as Rou): We're here to make sure that the effects of a previous Professor here are completely gone. You see, you might have heard of it, there was a mishap with a Professor that used to be in this office about 100 years ago. They have since returned and we are to make sure that they haven't left anything. We will grab their effects and go.
Dax: Rou, give me a Deception check.
Kappa: Yes!
Dax: And give it to me at Hard difficulty. Three purple, please.
Kappa: Oh shit, you're fucked. I'm sorry, this is a lot of dice.
[Dice rolling sounds]
Kappa: And you said Hard difficulty, right?
Dax: Mhmm.
[Dice rolling sounds]
Kappa: Ho! Two Successes. One Advantage. I rolled many dice.
Dax: Professor Blossom sits there for a second nodding in agreement with everything you're saying.
Dax (as Professor Blossom): Mhmm mhmm. Well, that makes sense. Here, why don't you come in.
Dax: He opens the door and allows you to come in. You know, you walk in and it's a standard lecture hall. There's wooden seats, auditorium seating and there's a big line of parchment that is actually lined up behind the desk that faces the students. The Professor turns to you and gestures at the desk. It is covered in boxes and it appears that the Professor is in the midst of unpacking -
Kappa: Oh, cool.
Dax: And there is.. a couple of books on the floor. You can see where they were dropped.
Music shifts to a calming guitar [36:52]
Dax (as Professor Blossom): Yeah, I actually just – I ended up arriving a little late. So, um. I just arrived yesterday.
Kappa (as Rou): Oh, you're new here. Was there anyone previous to you using this office?
Dax (as Professor Blossom): Um, no. In fact...
Dax: And with that, Professor Blossom points up and you can see there are a lot of gross cobwebs on the ceiling. And now that you can see those, you can smell the dust on the air.
Dax (as Professor Blossom): They haven't really cleaned the office. I guess it's been vacant for a little while.
Dax: Professor Blossom rubs the back of his neck.
Kappa (as Rou): Ah, I see. Okay. So, we're just going to peruse through some of the effects and make sure that our checklist is completed and if there is anything that you think has been left behind by the previous Professor, just go ahead and point it out. This desk is not new, correct? This was here when you got here?
Dax (as Professor Blossom): Um, no. This was here, yeah.
Kappa (as Rou): Okay.
Kappa: And I will lean over to Eight.
Kappa (as Rou): Eight, just start – just pick up random stuff that looks extremely old and we'll carry it out and try not to raise any concerns.
Wren (as Eight): Let me start looking through this box over here.
Wren: And I will -
Dax (as Professor Blossom): That's my box.
Wren (as Eight): Oh, I’m sorry. It is just that a lot of the stuff in this box looks old.
Dax (as Professor Blossom): Um, yeah. It's my grandmother's stuff. I was going to decorate my desk.
Wren (as Eight): I'm sorry. I will take a look at, um...
Dax (as Professor Blossom): The bookshelf over there is -
Wren (as Eight): This bookshelf over here.
Wren: And holding my hands up very awkwardly in front of me. Just take very small steps towards it, so I'm just like... donk donk donk on the floor. And I'll just stand and stare at the bookshelf with my hands still up. Just, awkwardly, my fingers kind of splayed out. It looks like I'm about to lace them together, but I'm not. And I'm just...
Dax: I was going to say that it looks like you're holding an invisible sandwich by the way you're positioned.
[Kappa laughs]
Kappa: Looking – I'm going to start looking at the desk. But if I notice that Eight is just frozen, I'll walk over, lean in and go,
Kappa (as Rou): If this makes you uncomfortable, maybe you can just talk to Professor Blossom? You can do that, right? Make friends? That seems like something you're very good at. Besides, Professor Blossom also looks a little nervous, so it could be beneficial to both of you.
Wren (as Eight): That's very kind of you to say.
Kappa (as Rou): Ask them what they teach and what not.
Wren (as Eight): Oh, like, breaking the ice?
Kappa (as Rou): Yes. You're very good at this Eight. You're very good at this. There's no reason to be nervous.
Wren (as Eight): I can do this. I will distract. I will…make friends.
Kappa (as Rou): You will have a conversation.
Wren (as Eight): I will have a conversation.
Wren: And I will put my hands down.
Wren (as Eight): I feel like a weight has been lifted from my chest for a moment. Thank you, friend Rou.
Kappa (as Rou): Of course.
Kappa: And I'll go back to the office desk.
Wren: I will call Professor Blossom over to the bookshelf.
Wren (as Eight): Professor Blossom, do you have a moment?
Dax (as Professor Blossom): Oh, yeah. Yeah. What is it?
Wren (as Eight): Well, you see, we are here for some of the old teacher's effects. But, perhaps, if you look at the books on this shelf, you might find some that would be of use to you and your teaching of...what particular aspect do you study slash perform tutoring for?
Dax (as Professor Blossom): Oh, I'm -
Dax: He pushes his glasses back up.
Dax (as Professor Blossom): I am a certified botanist of alchemy! Alchemist of botany? I don't know. It's a weird term. I never can get the two straight. I basically take plants and make stuff with them.
Wren (as Eight): Like an herbalist?
Dax (as Professor Blossom): Hmm, no. This is more chemical reactions and infusions and the like.
Wren (as Eight): Oh, like an alchemist.
Dax (as Professor Blossom): Mhmm.
Wren (as Eight): But with plants.
Dax (as Professor Blossom): Yeah.
Wren (as Eight): Which would be like an herbalist.
Dax (as Professor Blossom): But it's not quite an herbalist...
Dax: And this goes on for as long as Eight carries this conversation on, this is exactly how this conversation goes.
[Wren and Kappa laughing]
Kappa: It circles!
Dax: Rou, are you just opening drawers? Trying to be sneaky about it? How are you going about investigating this desk?
Kappa: Well, I mean, we've already got favor from Professor Blossom to just search and stuff. And they seem to be engaged with some sort of rigorous conversation with Eight. So, at this point, I'm not trying to be sneaky. Because if they look over and I'm being sneaky, that will raise more alarms. I'm just looking in at the various effects and trying to suss out where that false bottom is.
Dax: Sure. Go ahead and give me a Perception check. Make it Hard difficulty, but give yourself a Boost.
Kappa: Okay.
[Dice rolling sounds]
Kappa: Okay, let's see. One Success, two Advantage.
Dax: What do you want to use your two Advantages for?
Kappa: Uh, hmm. I'd like Professor Blossom to...obviously they let us in and all that. We have permission to do this. I want them to dismiss this as soon as we leave. Once we leave, you know? Not like oh, this might just be standard procedure. Have that sort of thought and not necessarily bring it up to another Professor. Oh yeah, they cleared out my office and took the old Professor's – great service. Would that sort of – giving them a Setback on -
Dax: Yeah, so what I can do – I was going to have them do a check, anyway, once the encounter was done. So I can add a Setback to that mechanically.
Kappa: Okay.
Dax: To see how odd do they think that this whole scenario is.
Kappa: Cool.
Dax: So, that is not a problem. Okay. You're opening up drawers and feeling along the creases and lifting up items that are in there to see if you see a little poke hole or something. Eventually, you do find that when you push the fingers along the back crease, that something tips forward and the bottom comes loose and you are able to lift it up. And what you see inside is a velvet pouch and a rolled up piece of parchment with a broken seal.
Kappa: I will take those two things, replace the false bottom, and then continue for a couple more minutes grabbing just – a random book. I don't want to take anything that would be useful to Professor Blossom, like a pencil case. I don't know – just, bits and bobs that look useless. Oh! If there's an empty box...
Kappa (as Rou): Can I use this box to just put the stuff in?
Dax (as Professor Blossom): No, it's not quite an herbalist, but...yeah, yeah. Whatever you need!
Kappa (as Rou): Thank you.
Wren (as Eight): Oh, are we completed with our task?
Kappa (as Rou): Yes! I found exactly what was on our checklist and I don't see anything else that would be suspicious. Thank you, Professor Blossom. I hope the conversation with Eight was rousing.
Wren (As Eight): Scintillating, really. If any of these books would be of use to you, feel free to add them to your curriculum, for they were not on our list of things to be procured.
Dax (as Professor Blossom): Oh, um...
Dax: Professor Blossom kind of scratches his head
Dax (as Professor Blossom): Thank you. I appreciate it.
Wren (as Eight): Of course!
Dax (as Professor Blossom): Wow. They didn't come and clean the cobwebs, but they're certainly good about making sure old furniture is out of the way. So that’s, that’s good.
Wren (as Eight): Standard... pro-proto-...well, uh, we will be on our way. We wish you all the best of luck on your new teaching adventure. That is exciting! I am so excited for you!
Dax (as Professor Blossom): Yeah, I'm a little nervous, but I’m sure it’ll be fine.
Wren (as Eight): It's only natural, nerves and everything, yes? I have heard that they can be quite the problem.
Dax (as Professor Blossom): [stammering] Yeah, well, if you're all set, I have to get set up. I have a class in a couple of hours.
Kappa (as Rou): Oh, yes, of course! Of course!
Dax: The awkward trying to leave while saying goodbye.
Wren: I've been sidling towards the door the entire time here. Like, get ready to go, my hands held in front of me. Just like, yup. Time to go, thanks for having us. Okay.
Kappa: The last thing I say before heading out is,
Kappa (as Rou): You are going to do great.
Kappa: And then I give a thumbs up and shut the door.
Wren: As the door is shut, I will turn to Rou.
Music shifts back to a tense guitar [46:58]
Wren (as Eight): So, what was in the false bottom?
Kappa (as Rou): That's right. So, none of this junk.
Kappa: And then show them the box of decoy things. Open up the knapsack.
Kappa (as Rou): I found this velvet pouch and this parchment with a broken seal on it. I figured that once we were back at The Silver Pearl we could examine the contents of whatever this is and whatever that is.
Wren (as Eight): That sounds like a great plan. Whatever is in here, if it was meant for us from Arcterus, it would be good to share it with our good friend Arthas, as well.
Kappa (as Rou): Is there anything that we - else we need to do? I need to find a place to drop off this junk.
Wren: I look around. This is an old basement? Isn't there just, like, piles - are there piles of stuff around?
Dax: There's random benches and stuff. It's a pretty sparse hallway. But I'm sure that if you wanted to you could open up some random door and just put the box in there.
Kappa: What was the - three doors up from Professor Blossom's office? I'm going to put it in that one.
Dax: In Professor Headstrom's?
Kappa: [Laughing] In Professor Headstrom's!
Dax: Sure, yeah.
Kappa: Just open the door, slide it in and...
Kappa (as Rou): Run!
Wren: Clomp clomp clomp clomp as I'm slowly running down the hallway.
Wren (as Eight): Is this what they call a “practical joke”? I'm so excited!
Kappa (as Rou): This is very much a practical joke!
Dax: 'Cuz that's a great image to end on. “Run!” Good job, you two.
Music fades out [48:39]
Dax: Thanks for listening! We hope you’ll join us next time but in the interim, follow us on Twitter @RoadsUncharted.
The “Roads Uncharted” podcast is GMed and produced by Dax who you can find on Twitter @GM_Dax. We use the Genesys RPG System published by Fantasy Flight Games and music license by Epidemic Sound.
Arthas, Champion of Offam is played by Neil.
Eight is played by Wren, who also composed the music for our opening theme. Follow them on Twitter @ThornyDryad.
Rou is played by Kappa, and you can follow him on Twitter @TheKappaChris.